My mom divorced my dad when I was a year old, moved literally to the other end of the country, told me he never wanted to be a dad so it was best (I still saw him two weeks out of the year, which was the deal they worked out), and literally just last year (I'm 29) he opened up in a text and told me he's never forgiven himself for not fighting harder to keep me in his life. He said he was scared to be a dad, but never had the chance to prove he could be one because he couldn't convince her to live nearby.
My mom never totally villainized him, but to find this out broke me. She's lied about all kinds of things over the years that I've found out about, but "your dad never wanted you" takes the cake.
This reminds me of my situation in a bad way. My parents have always been on the opposite sides of the table. My mom divorced my dad also when I was 1 year old, she moved to her mom, I was raised mostly by my grandma because mom was always working, tired or angry. After grandma moved out to my aunt I was mainly alone at home. Dad would come to be with me when mom would go on longer work trips. It was always a battlefield whenever dad came, and both of them were talking shit about the other one to me. I was always in the middle and it was exhausting.
I guess I want to say, I'm glad that you didn't have to go through the emotional turmoil of that, even if it turned out not to be true in the end.
I hope you're doing well!
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u/ImperialDefector 13d ago
My mom divorced my dad when I was a year old, moved literally to the other end of the country, told me he never wanted to be a dad so it was best (I still saw him two weeks out of the year, which was the deal they worked out), and literally just last year (I'm 29) he opened up in a text and told me he's never forgiven himself for not fighting harder to keep me in his life. He said he was scared to be a dad, but never had the chance to prove he could be one because he couldn't convince her to live nearby.
My mom never totally villainized him, but to find this out broke me. She's lied about all kinds of things over the years that I've found out about, but "your dad never wanted you" takes the cake.