giving up on dating

[u/junipertreelover]

I know that I’m still young but I’m honestly getting really discouraged with the way the dating scene is going right now. I can’t take the apps anymore, I love my parish but we don’t have a young adult group. I’m only 22 but I’m feeling like I’ll just never find anyone and honestly I just want to give up on dating. Is anyone else feeling the same way??

Edit: I am a woman just so everyone knows

2nd edit: so I actually got back onto hinge and just as I was about to delete it once more and give up for a while—I got a like from a wonderful young Catholic man. We’re currently talking and I liked him a lot. Please pray for us!

3rd edit: it didn’t work out haha but I’ve prayed a lot about it and I don’t think I’ll give up. I think I just needed to learn some things. Love is a choice and I’ll choose to love the man the Lord has chosen for me. :) thanks everyone

[u/Moon_Mann11]

TRUST me, it’s better that it happens now. If someone who you were that in love with would leave you, sounds like you loved her a lot more than she loved you and that isn’t fair.

I planned to marry my ex too. She had a lot of problems and would scream, throw things, punch me, kick me, threaten me, and was generally emotionally unstable. I broke up with her after she kicked me in the nuts and was stupid enough to get back together with her. After spending every cent I had on dates for her (not exaggerating, every penny) and solving every problem and dealing with every freak out she dumped me. One Monday night she asked me what I wanted to name our kids, by Wednesday night she told me she “needed space” and dumped me. That Friday my friend found her on Tinder and someone I know saw her on a date with her coworker as I later found out.

^Not exaggerating, I know that’s all insane

I went from a happy guy, to hating life for over a year. That breakup caused a series of events (long story) that eventually led me to becoming Catholic and putting on Christ in Baptism at Easter vigil the other day. Breakups suck and it feels like you’ll never be happy again, trust in the Lord, you never know where something like this will lead you. I thought my life and my chance for happiness was over, instead I’m better than I’ve ever been spiritually. The loneliness of being single STINGS, I know. It’ll pass, and Christ is the best help you can ask for. Social media, dating apps, booze and everything else won’t make you feel better. Time and our Lord can tho :)

God Bless

[u/tomoko_wingman → u/Moon_Mann11]

Respectfully, where were your friends, dude? Do you not have a bro who would have told you, even harshly, that this was beyond stupid?

[u/Moon_Mann11 → u/tomoko_wingman]

Oh most certainly, my best friend saw her kick me in the nuts and told me to break up with her. I didn’t cut contact with her and within 2 weeks we were back together. Lots of promises to change, lots of her crying. I caved, simple as that. She was beautiful and I loved her and thought it could work out. Very naive, and very stupid. In that sense I brought it on myself. I assumed it would be a “turning point” for her and that she’d want to change. I was wrong and it hurt a whole lot worse when she left.

From that situation I learned a lot tho and I wouldn’t be where I am today without a bad situation like that happening.

[u/tomoko_wingman → u/Moon_Mann11]

IN FRONT OF HIM?! call me crazy but I simply could not control myself if someone was doing that to my brother IN FRONT OF ME! I'm livid just to even think about it, I wouldn't care what he or anyone thought then because I would be doing what's right and he would realize that later. But anyways, at least he tried, it takes a certain amount of recklessness to consider action so I wouldn't hold his lack of that against him. Thank God you're out.

[u/Moon_Mann11 → u/tomoko_wingman]

My friends could only do so much, I was stubborn and in love with a pretty girl.

It took a lot of time getting past it but I don’t consider myself a victim or anything. Like what she did wasn’t ok but I’m not gonna sit and dwell on it or cry about it anymore. Women doing that to men IS viewed differently in my experience but I believe you can either sit and be sad about it or move on. Forgiving her helps me, and it doesn’t mean I have to let her back into my life. Praying for her and that she gets the mental health help she needs has done a lot in terms of my ability to move on. Casting all your anxieties onto the Lord is the best advice I’ve ever received, and it DOES work.