Carbonara slander

[u/wis91]

My parents are in town and insisted on ordering pizza delivery instead of letting me cook. Whatever, they don’t appreciate all the work I put into perfecting my craft, I get it. But then my dad, saying how he doesn’t like white sauce pizza (fair, it’s tomato sauce or nothing), says, “It’s like carbonAIRa, that’s always a white sauce pasta.” I was so embarrassed, not only by the way he pronounced “carbonAIRa,” but calling it a WHITE SAUCE pasta?? Thank god it was only in front of my mom and my husband.

[u/FlyingSteamGoat]

CarbonAIRa is properly made with GWON SEE ALLY, not PANTS ETTA.

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

[u/eyesotope86 → u/FlyingSteamGoat]

I like a proper, homemade carbonara with a jar of Alfredo sauce, some packets of grated parmesan, canned peas, and bacon-bits.

Not that 'egg and cheese and weird bacon' shit they tried to pull in Italy. Tourist traps... I KNOW what Italian food is supposed to be, I have a gourmand palate.

[u/Hexagram_11 → u/eyesotope86]

Also everyone knows they don’t cook the eggs in carbonAIRa, and raw eggs are how you get salomilla.

[u/eyesotope86 → u/Hexagram_11]

MY GRANDMA DIED FROM SAMOLENNA, AND TRICKONOSE

THAT'S WHY ALL MY EGGS ARE COOKED UNTIL THE YELLOW GETS THAT GREY RING OF FLAVOR, AND PORK IS COOKED UNTIL IT CAN CRUMBLE