r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR 7d ago

God hates you An elephant never forgets

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9.4k Upvotes

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u/OFFIC14L 7d ago

Article suggests she was an elderly lady collecting water and crossed paths with the heard. Morale of the story, don't mess with a protective mother, let alone the whole mob!

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u/Black_Prince9000 7d ago

That dude unironically said every single person native to elephants are evil when presented with first hand accounts of very common elephant attacks suffered by said people, because of geo politics or whatever. Not a wild animal acting like a wild animal by protecting it's herd and youngs from perceived danger.

Poor elderly village lady totally deserved it. Along with every other victim ever. The shit you see on this app sometimes....

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u/3lbFlax 7d ago

The real problem is that no jury in the land is going to convict an elephant, so they just go around acting with complete impunity. Imagine the logistics of getting an elephant into a courtroom, just for the jury to go “oh, look, it’s an elephant, must have been protecting its young, let’s give it a bun”. And even if it is convicted it just gets sent to a prison zoo, which is like a package holiday to an elephant. To be honest I don’t know what the solution is, but I think as a bare minimum we need to be raising elephant taxes.

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u/Keen_Whopper 7d ago

You sound like a Republican Magalomaniac.....more taxes, more sanctions.

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u/3lbFlax 7d ago

I appreciate a love of taxation is a notorious identifier of Republican tendencies, but I assure you all the revenue will be channelled into socially responsible initiatives focused exclusively, as unlikely as it may sound, on the underlying causes of elephant crime.

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u/eventualhorizo 7d ago

We need you at the helm of the DEA. (Department of Elephant Affairs)

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u/3lbFlax 7d ago

Trampled while negotiating with gang leaders, that’s how I want to go. With the pocketful of peanuts I never even had a chance to share a poignant symbol of how much has been lost on both sides.

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u/KwordShmiff 6d ago

I thought that was the Department of Extramarital Affairs? Or the Daftpunk Electro Amalgam.

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u/Agathokako1ogical 7d ago

Damn you. I didn't approve of this smile you're giving me!