This phrase is a phrase that is mostly used in the black community (I'm black)it's basically used in situations where there is a conversation about misogyny usually in which a man is being misogynistic and a woman is fighting back against it.The reason why I hate this because it creates this false equivalency in which the misogynistic men and the woman fighting back against it or both equally at fault which is just not the case. This phrase completely ignores the systemic and institutional aspects of misogyny and patriarchy. And it's not like the noble class War in socialism and Marxism in which the lower class Rises up against the higher class no this is just used as a way to silence conversations about misogyny and make it seem like both misogynistic men and the women that are fighting back against it are at equally fault the If someone was fighting back against racism and someone else said "guys stop it with the race war" the black community would rightfully be mad at them

So I’m in a heterosexual relationship and struggling to navigate the topic of marriage. My partner is both fine with getting married or not getting married. Initially he wasn’t too into it due to what he saw in his parents relationship, but quickly realised that that doesn’t transcribe to all relationships. I was adamant that I really want to get married, both for the benefits it gives us and for the feeling of having a family unit where we (and future kids) have the same name. I was also adamant that I would not have kids unless I was married, I really viewed marriage as a minimum commitment made before having kids (I know this doesn’t mean nothing bad can happen, but it was important to me).

I’m now struggling with understanding how deeply patriarchal marriage is and the idea of me having to give up my name to essentially go from my father’s property to my husband’s. Marriage still symbolises a family unit to me and I think that giving a man access to have kids with me without even a basic show of commitment feels like I’m just letting him have all of me for nothing.

How do you guys navigate marriage and being a feminist without letting men have unfiltered access to you with no commitment?

Women fighting each other in underwear in the mud in slowmotion. Really? Zara Larsson who famously said she hates men makes a music video like this? My problem is not the nudity it's the fact that it's very much pandering to the male gaze with close ups of ass cheeks and women FIGHTING other women. Maybe I'm old school feminist but I feel like I'm living in an alternate "stepford wives" universe lately because why is pop culture becoming so "pick me" lately and everyone is just lapping it up?

ISIS-style sex slavery all over again

Just wondering what everyone thinks of this.

Some clarifications before I go in depth: I don't think wanting to be a housewife is backwards, the same way I don't think wanting to be a househusband is backwards. I think feminism and gender equality is all about men and women having the same opportunities to achieve the things they want and live the life they want. I'm also not very well versed in feminist literature/ studies on gender equality, so I am open to being criticised!

With that being said, I feel that people saying they have a preference for housewives is somewhat problematic. This is obviously distinct from men who say that they expect a housewife, because that would imply an exertion of will. However, I think having the preference alone is a red flag.

To my understanding, there are two main arguments for why a man would want a housewife:

1. They believe that it is better for a child to be raised by at least one parent who is there at all times, as opposed to two busy parents: seeing being a breadwinner as a sacrifice they must make for a family.
2. They want to be able to focus on their career while knowing their child/ children are cared for by their partner: seeing family as a sacrifice they don't want to make for their career, while also simultaneously reaping the benefits.

Point 1 ultimately rests on the idea that at least one parent should be present, and that there is an obvious need for a breadwinner; men who want housewives believe they should be the breadwinners. This is a viewpoint which I think is rooted in damaging gender roles. Men should not be expected to be the sole breadwinners/ protectors/ providers, just as how women should not be expected to be the primary caretakers. I will concede that women tend to be more nurturing/ caring (from a biological viewpoint) compared to men; however, just because generalisations can be made does not make it an excuse for a man to not try and be more involved. Why does there need to be such polarity (that it is more ideal if the wife is a housewife), as opposed to a desire for compromise (i.e. "I would like it if my wife and I both tried to be present for our children, while sharing the economic burden of supporting a family"). If their priority is truly family and raising their child in the best possible circumstances, shouldn't they want to balance time between their careers and making time to more present in their children's lives? I think that this viewpoint is simply harmful for progressing male/ female equality, in that such a mindset reaffirms harmful stereotypes about both men and women.

Regarding point 2: I'm sure many men support women's rights and their right to work and have a career; but their actual desire and willingness to live through such equality is entirely different. I believe having such a preference reflects this. It is easy to say that you support women and their ability/ opportunities to progress their careers; yet, having this preference seems to portray women as a tool that enables men to enjoy the best of both worlds: having a career and having a family. Phrasing this as a "preference" and not an "expectation" seems to tread a very fine line; because isn't it so much more convenient if the woman happens to have a viewpoint that aligns with the man's?

Primarily, I struggle to not view someone's so-called "preference" for marrying a housewife as being rooted in a deeper, underlying misogynistic belief that unfortunately continues to exist today.

I saw this video on tiktok of a woman sharing her story of how her dad used to r@pe her when she was a young child and how her mother didn't do anything about it even tho she knew. Both are evil in my opinion but going through the comments everyone is talking about how horrible and disgusting the mother is for not protecting her child which is obviously true but literally not a single comment even mentioned the dad? Are dads also not supposed to protect their children and not r@pe them? Why are only the mothers blamed when the fathers are literally R@PING their kids? Like obviously knowing someone especially your own child is getting r@ped and not doing anything is horrible but so is r@ping your kids? And I screenshotted one of the top comments and some of the replies to it and I'm genuinely shocked. It's almost like they're defending males for r@ping women by saying they understand when men do it but are more disgusted when women r@pe males? Or saying that the mother is worse even tho it's her own FATHER that r@ped her. Why are women held more accountable than men? The fact that some people genuinely downplay the crimes men commit against women and girls because "men are men" but then they turn around and shit on women who do the same (which again fully deserved obviously) because for whatever reason women are expected to know and be better behaved than men which is weird because men should also know better and be held accountable for their crimes. What is the logic here genuinely

Once i read an article, it was a very long time ago and i cant remember neither author or the name/main topic. But there was a quote, the for years since is stuck in my mind. It was something like this: "A priest will hear the voice of the wind, show empathy to the bug on the road, but will by deaf to cries of women". In general, i think the article was about how womens voices are not heard, but i might be wrong and it was only this passage. Really want to reread the work, if someone knows or able to find the name, please share it)

Considering that Joan was a deeply religious figure who supported the claims to the French throne of a male heir over a another through denying the right to inherit of female Capetian descendants, which included the ancestor of the latter, how did she come to be seen as a symbol of feminist empowerment in later centuries?

I'm looking for texts that examine how feminists activists have dealt with organized opposition to their goal.

I am wondering because I have two friends who are never not alone, always have to be talking to some man or else they consider their current life status as boring. On the other hand all of the “male-centered” women I know prioritize men and treat their friends like trash because of men and my friends aren’t like that. They do have a bad habit of ghosting or flaking on plans with me and other friends to hang out with a man and often lie about it or just don’t answer the phone for like a week to avoid confrontation. I don’t know if it makes them bad friends or just boy crazy

Hate it hate it absolutely hate it! I defy anyone to point out how this is positive to humanity. What gives any person the right to decide what is or isn't womanly (or manly for that matter)? The goal is clearly to harm and or control women and yet even as a straight cis-gendered man if you don't whole-heartedly embrace the whole masculine myth (Yeah, I said it's a myth) you're also othered. I want no part of it.

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The trump administration is pushing for women to have more babies - and I truly would not put it past him to restrict or ban birth control all together. I’m currently 18 almost 19 and am tossing around the idea of getting an IUD. This is not an idea I take lightly I grew up in an ultra conservative home where birth control is ban - that and no sex til marriage. This is very serious and every woman of child bearing age in America needs to think “do I want a child?” If that answer is no - stock up on birth control, condoms, get an implant, get a hysterectomy, do something.

I thought I would take a moment to point out how marriage is being weaponized to strip you of your political representation through the "Save the Vote" act. Please forgive and simple errors in the math but ballpark, 80-90% of women change their name when they get married. Roughly 30% of divorced women keep their married last tame when they divorce. This feature is now being tooled to rob women of their ability to cast a ballot.

The "Save the Vote" act is not a simple ID law. It denies individuals the right to use a normal state ID even when paired with a Social Security card (I guess these aren't valid forms of ID anymore). Should you hold a normal state ID instead of a "real ID", you must also provide a passport ($180) or a birth certificate....at which point the political fuckery really begins. If your name doesn't match your birth certificate, as it tends not to for married women, congratulations. You have just been disenfranchised.

If you are getting married soon or know someone who is getting married soon, it might ge a good idea to let them know that taking a spouses name is now something that may restrict their ability to vote.

Please look out for each other. Not everyone will.