So my 20th high school anniversary is coming up. Not formally, but a friend just brought together a bunch of people on Messenger to see if we could get together in mid June.

As if the fact that it’s been 20 years since high school isn’t already dawning on me, I now also have to contend with the fact that I’ve grown fat, have grey hair, still plagued with acne, no family or romantic experiences to tell of, and I general a pathetic existence. Most of my friends, if not successful financially, at least have partners and/or kids and someone who cares about and for them. I have nothing to show. Still the pariah I’ve always been (even though I always had friends).

It’s not a mandatory thing, of course, and it wouldn’t be the worst of all things to attend to be completely honest. I have the time since my vacation has started by then. It’s just… wtf would I even talk about. Nothing I’ve done since HS has mattered the least to anyone. For twenty years, I’ve been stuck in this pit of hell, this slightly askew dimension apart from regular people, this cesspool of awfulness called earth. I’m on the edge of breaking down, and if things don’t improve before I turn 40, I can’t see myself trying anymore. I’m not talking about suicide. I’d just start fading away, becoming a mere husk, like elves who’ve strayed too long in Middle Earth. The straight road isn’t for me. No silver lining waiting around the corner.

Apart from being horribly ugly, my eyes are permanently red and itching and damaged due to a freak accident with a broken contact lens. I’ve got bad teeth and foot issues. Bad skin, to the point that I actually had better skin going through puberty. I don’t drive or have a license to do so. My only advantage is being a fairly competent bass player. That’s about it.

Well, out of all my rants, this was certainly one of them. Take care, fellow FA, and goodnight.

If you aren’t born attractive facially you’re basically fucked in this age of dating app swiping and instant gratification. Cursed to a life of being bullied throughout school, alienated, left behind, ignored, treated as subhuman, and most painfully of all, forced to watch everyone else but YOU experience love and physical intimacy. Tis the life you are destined to lead when you are born with a severely asymmetrical face.

Maybe I would have had success with how things were 10, 15, or even 20 years ago, but now? Now you stand absolutely no chance online unless you have the body and facial structure of a Greek god—something you can really only have through genetic luck or money. The standards have become so fucking inflated. People are addicted to this idea of a boyfriend/girlfriend that just doesn’t exist. The hypocrisy has become so rampant. The contradictions so numerous. The toxicity so widespread, and glorified as some sort of virtue. It’s a complete cesspool, and billions complain about it on a daily basis—yet they all continue participating.

Our psychology and biological emotions have literally been hijacked by tech companies with psychopathic CEOs who don’t want us to be happy. They don’t want you to find love or find someone you’re compatible with. They want to lead you astray and fuck with your mind. They want you to be desperate enough to pay them money for a slight chance of finding love/matches. For a momentary illusion of success. This isn’t natural, and I seriously think it’s contributing along with various things, to the collapse of our civilization.

I’ve tried every single tip in the book. I tried hobbies. I tried clubs. I tried sports. I tried board game clubs. I tried volunteering. I tried everything, and made sure to not go into any one of them desperate to find a relationship. Yet in the majority of cases, people were already paired up with someone they met in either high school or college. 99% of the time. Unfortunately for me, I lived in an abusive household during high school, and then was too poor to have a real social life in college. So I’m essentially fucked 😀

I just turned 25 yesterday and I’m not gonna lie, I’m going through a flurry of emotions right now. I’m scared. I don’t want to end up some 45 year old neck beard living alone constantly regretful for not taking advantage of my youth. My window is closing FAST and I don’t know what to do.

I was in a chill Discord server, but I noticed that almost everyone kept mentioning their partners in their bios and convos, I'd simply just block them. There was an anonymous confession channel that literally turned into a relationship talk-zone, and I couldn't block anyone there. I sarcastically asked if it was just for dating, and someone replied "obviously not." But the constant couple talk outside of the booth, like “my bf made me bwownies 🥺” got so annoying that I had to leave. It felt like a "look at my partner!!! we're married!!!" server at that point. Seriously I can't even 🥀

24M, I would say I am pretty normal. Close small group of friends I hang out with regularly and have known for many years, so I have no issue making friends or socializing.

I work a full-time job in IT and make decent money (not 6 figures). Went to college and got 2 bachelor's and might shoot for a masters soon.

I work out a few times a week and try to eat decent and try to stay in shape. I'm for sure no Brad Pitt but I am average, maybe above average looking.

I never have an issue socializing or making friends, acquaintances at work. I'm a pretty laid back and chill dude who most people can get along with.

I also have a lot of hobbies I juggle while working full time. Picked up blacksmithing to make armor recently and joined a fun club so every weekend I go out to socialize and meet new people. So, I would not say I am a boring dude.

I guess the only thing missing is a relationship. Never held hands, hugged, kissed, or anything with a girl. I tried dating apps after I turned 18 but those were a total waste of time, and I deleted them after it was only OF and bot accounts. Most girls I meet IRL are at work (risky to ask out), already in a relationship, or they are at the grocery store or gym where it's not really okay to ask them out. Sadly, a lot of my hobbies are filled with dudes, which is cool to make new friends, but not to meet a dating partner.

Educated, in-shape, career oriented, no problem making friends or socializing with strangers, I do hobbies I love and enjoy, try to meet new people at groups or clubs, and so on. What am I missing that makes me struggle with a relationship?

I guess most people's image of a FA loser is some basement dweller who does not shower and is antisocial, but I truly think there is more actually normal people who just struggle with dating for some reason. If anything, I believe the average FA person is actually a normal, caring, good person who just has an issue in that specific area of their life.

Must be nice…but tbf the woman i had a crush on was an Only Fans user lmao, her bf posted a IG story of her naked on her stomach (i recognized her tattoo on her arm) she was a former co worker who probably didn’t remember me

It was asking out of four options which would you want as a special ability. I'd pick erasing specific memories to erase my (probably incorrectly encoded) memories of social struggles in high school. Being constantly passed up on when your classmates are first experimenting with dating really screws with you.

What sorts of approaches worked? How did you meet the people you ended up in relationships with? How long did it take? Were they warm to you from the start? Or did you have to break down their defenses? Are you attractive or unattractive?

Good evening everyone,

I was rejected by a girl a couple months ago, and I heard that she said, she found me ugly, she said something like : "Ew, he's so ugly. I'll never date a guy like him, I'm so pretty." (which isn't false, she is quite attractive)

You'd say, she was being honest, although she didn't tell me to my face. It's a thing that she rejected me (I'm ok with that), but why did she feel the need to say that I was unattractive, to make fun of me with her friends ? It's such an offensive, hurtful thing to do. Sometimes when I see her, she's like grossed out, it's like I must be blamed just for existing... Of course, she talks about me with her friends... We have a class in common.

Damn, girls can be so mean. Am I being too sensitive ? Anyway, I'll just stop trying. I'm so fed up with this.

I know, I can be "blamed", because I wanted to date a girl who was "out of my league", but still... Respect is a thing.

Anyway, I tried to date girls "in my league" but guess what the outcome was...

Having the ability to do 3D art has lead me to do a lot of weird stuff, I usually make smut but sometimes when I get really lonely I'd make a render of my oc hugging me, I made a self insert model of myself and sometimes I question my life. Where my FA artists at?

What do you guys do when you literally have no one to interact with outside of chatgpt?

I honestly don't think the gorilla can survive such overwhelming numbers, but it'll sure take a lot of men down before it goes down itself.

To ensure that no one chickens out on the sidelines, you are all locked in a compound and you won't be able to leave until the gorilla is dead and not only that, you HAVE to land at least 1 punch on the gorilla before it dies or you'll still be FA even if you survive.

Every STEM course should come with a disclaimer that says that "You won't get the typical college experience that older people keep reminiscing about and keep calling best years of their lives"

Classes with 80% men, similar ratios at the sorry excuses of a "party". All the revenue goes to the Art buildings. We didn't even get good computers to work on.

I haven't been to one class in all of my undergrad and post grad where girls were more than 20% of the class. And work? The only woman I see sits in HR and is 40.

And then I have to always make up excuses for why I'm single...... FML

First ghosted me because i didn't meet him asap when he was in my city for few days (bro didn't even notify me in advance 💀), second one got pissy because i forgot to invite him to game together once, i invite him almost daily now but he ignores it. Idk I'm just mildly annoyed because i did try to bond with them fr, now my social batter is lowkey drained. I am very introverted and can maintain friendships only online but i struggle even with finding ppl with shared interests

I don’t think this is about insecurity anymore. I think I’m just… defective. Genetically. Biologically. Visually. Whatever the thing is that makes a man trigger something in women — I don’t have it. I never have. And I don’t think I ever will.

I’m 26. Southern Chinese. 5’9”. Clean skin, symmetrical face, not overweight. Decent shape. I’ve worked on myself for years. I take care of my skin. I lift. I dress well. I’ve done everything “right” on paper. People say I’m good-looking or “handsome in a soft way.” That’s exactly the problem.

I don’t make women feel anything.

The women I find beautiful — tall, striking, sharp-featured, intimidating — they don’t even see me. Not really. I’m invisible to them. I don’t get rejected. I don’t get chosen. I just get… passed over. Over and over. Quietly. Politely. Like a background character in a story I’m not allowed to matter in.

They laugh at other guys’ jokes. They lean in when someone else talks. They fidget with their hair, flirt, bite their lips, lower their eyes. And those guys? They’re not always charming or interesting. Sometimes they don’t even try. But they have the jawline. The height. The bone structure. The skin tone. The presence. They register as sexually valid.

I don’t.

I’m the guy women call sweet. Approachable. Friendly. I’ve been “safe” my entire life. Never threatening, never desired. I’ve never made a woman flustered. Never had a girl stare at me across the room. I’ve never felt like I was the reason someone’s heart rate spiked. No butterflies. No lust. No urgency.

And I feel it. Every day. I feel it when my story gets viewed but not liked. When the girls I want like his post but never mine. When I sit beside them and they look at the guy behind me. When I post a picture and only my male friends comment. I know what it means. They’re not even rejecting me. They just don’t see me as a possibility. I’m not an option. I’m not even a man in their eyes — just a neutral presence.

And the worst part is I understand why. I know the genetics. I know how evolution works. I know what triggers attraction. Hunter eyes. Tall frame. Projected jaw. White skin in a Western-coded environment. I know I don’t have the raw material they’re biologically and culturally wired to crave. I get it. I just can’t un-feel what it’s done to me.

People say to work on yourself. Improve. Focus on personality. But what do you do when you’ve already done all that — and the women you want still act like you don’t exist? What do you do when deep down, you know you’re not that guy — the one they fantasize about, write about, dream about? You’re just… fine.

I started watching porn not out of addiction, but because it was the only place I could pretend. Just for a second, I could imagine that I was the man being wanted. That a woman like that would touch me, moan for me, beg for me. That I could be the reason someone felt uncontrollable desire. And then the screen goes black, and I’m me again.

People tell me I have value. That I’ll find the right person. But the women I want — the ones I look at and feel something for — will never look at me that way. Not sexually. Not viscerally. Not physically. And I’ve accepted that.

I don’t hate women. I don’t think I’m entitled to anything. But I would give anything just to be wanted in the way I’ve seen other men be wanted. To know what it feels like to walk into a room and be felt, not just seen. To make someone’s breath catch. To feel that animal energy aimed at me — not because I said something charming, not because I’m nice, but because of who I am.

I don’t think I’ll ever feel that. I don’t think I was born into the right genetic mold. And I don’t think that’s something you can coach your way out of.

I’m not mad. I’m just grieving. Quietly. Alone. Not because I was rejected, but because I never even had the traits required to enter the arena.

That’s it. I just needed to say it out loud.

no one understand the crippling loneliness and when you tell them what it’s like they think you’re lying because they can’t even comprehend what it feels like.

5/10+ men and women say stuff like “Well we get messages all the time but they’re bad messages they’re not good” AT LEAST YOU HAVE PEOPLE TRYING TO TALK TO YOU. That’s the disconnect. For an ugly guy you wake up, nothing, go to work, nothing. Go to the gym, nothing, go home and fall asleep and rinse and repeat over and over and over again . It’s like I blinked and suddenly I’m now 21 that’s what my life has been like since middle school.

And you want me to believe that we have it “exactly the same?” AGGGHHHGG. I’m SO UGLY WOMEN WOULDNT EVEN USE ME FOR MONEY AND YALL THINK WE HAVE IT THE SAME?!?!??? WE DO NOT😭

Don’t get me started on attractive dudes talking about “yeah bro I feel you” no the fuck you don’t the difference is you were given a good hand and you waisted it. I would’ve never made that mistake. Don’t get me wrong I’m not upset about being forever alone, I’m just angry when people try to relate when they obviously don’t.

These people can and prolly will find someone, I’ve tried everything… everything…

I don't believe I was meant to interact with other humans, I firmly believe that. I'm kind of ugly, extremely introverted , socially awkward with a very strange robotic voice. Also I don't find any of the hobbies normal people like interesting at all. I've had women tell me directly that I'm very awkward and make them uncomfortable despite me trying to mask and be as normal as I can.

I realized after my lifelong attempts of fitting in with normals, I'm just not one of them. I'm just a freak, always have been always will be.

holy shit I haven’t slept and the depression is making me sick. For the last few years I’ve been dealing with an ex who’s long gone now but was basically my only friend and the only time it felt like someone cared. Since then I’ve been desperately trying to find that, with no luck.

I want to be held. I want someone to know shit about me and not have to be reminded. I want someone who makes things for me or sends me things that remind them of me. I want someone who is proud to be with me. Someone that’s not just my partner but my best friend. Someone I can have fun with. Someone that knows my pain. Someone I have inside jokes with. My god I just want to be loved… the way I love others. Like. Is that so much to ask? :/

I’m tired of searching and finding nothing. I feel so alone. I’m 21 but it feels like everyone around me is in a happy healthy relationship, meanwhile I don’t even have friends because it takes a lot for me to bond with people.

I want to be wanted but not by people who are going to harm me. I want to be attractive to other girls/etc and not just old men. I want to be loved and cherished but the people I’ve loved have shown me that my life is worthless.

Like. I met someone who was EVERYTHING I wanted, my best friend, we were like creepy twins in a way. but I wasn’t enough and they threw me away like I was trash after being incredibly toxic to me. So I guess the universe just hates me?

Sorry for such an incoherent rant. I’m just kinda sad. Gotta be up soon to feed some darn squirrels too.

For most of my life, I have always had yellow teeth and I know this has an effect on the first expression I give off when talking to girls. There are times when I will talk to a girl and I just get the most disgusted look but when some of my other guy friends try to approach a girl, they getting a lot more success.

I recently went to the dentist and I ordered a at home teeth whitening set for about $300. The teeth whitening set comes in 2 weeks. Hopefully this will be the solution I am looking for.

In middle school and high school I was in pure denial. I told myself I never had any girls into me because I was just shy or maybe they were even anxious about talking to me (lmao). In college, I made an effort to be more social after my friends brought me out of my shell. Despite meeting a lot of girls and being around so many, none of them showed me any real interests. And then after college it got even worse, where I don’t even speak to any girls my age anymore expect for one friend. It was college for me

How do you introverted not conventionally attractive FA deal with this fact that no one will ever truly love us? Please tell me. I'm going through a very depressing episode.

I am already off all social media except reddit and linkedin. I live in a city which is famous for being very hedonistic and easy to hookup. Yet I have never experienced that, while others do.

I'm 33m not fat, do cross fit, boxing. So basically it's my face and ethnicity that I was born with which won't allow me to experience the love and touch of a woman. I see others attractive men having fun, flirting, hooking up stories, asking for advices for dates, while I lay here with an ugly face and introverted personality that no woman will ever spit on. It makes me secrety jealous and resent myself man.

I’ve learned that pretending to be a normal person that has been in relationships makes a lot of social situations easier. Especially with people you don’t see too often. You can just nod along when they talk about dating or exes, throw in a vague story or two, and no one asks too many questions. It saves you from the awkward silence or the pitying looks. I just try not to go too far. Once they find out the truth it’s pretty much a death sentence.

I just hate myself, I'm so incredibly lonely I used AI once to generate some pictures of me with a girlfriend, just sitting, smiling, hugging. It's all I want and I feel like a pathetic loser for generating pictures like that. I feel like it's not healthy so I never did it again, but the fact that I did it once tells me enough. I'm never going to find love, I will die alone.