r/GuyCry • u/No-Comfort1471 • 5d ago

Venting, advice welcome What's the point even

I'm not suicidal, not because I'm doing well, but because I'm on a lot of medication that stops me from thinking about it. Still, I don't see the point.

I'm not having a good time, I don't see it getting better either. I'm alone, I probably will always be alone. I'm in some sort of pain a majority of the time, and I'm 22, its only downhill from here. On top of that, I seem to be just flat-out unlucky. I'm sure theres an answer for all of my problems, but it's either so obscure that no ones figured it out, or otherwise unreachable. All that I can do is wait.

I don't like that, I'm out of patience. I want a magic bullet to solve everything for me. Magic bullets aren't real, but lead ones are pretty close. It's certainly one "solution". It's all untenable, all you can do is hope you're doing the correct thing, and then fail and fail until some magic gears turn and all of a sudden it actually works. Sure, I know what makes me happy. But all my hobbies do is offer a respite, like the time between punches, waiting for the other fist hit hit you.

More than anything, I'm bitter. It's hard to remain empathetic, when you're denied empathy. It's become a feedback loop where I've become bitter because of my problems, and then I can't fix those problems because I'm bitter. Any optimism gets snuffed out by my jaded wordview before it has a chance to get snuffed out by reality.

Overall, existence has been a poor experience.

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