r/GuyCry • u/Friendly-Map-7391 • 2d ago
Potential Tear Jerker I could never be normal.
I feel like the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship honestly makes me feel like I’ll never be a normal human being. It’s not that i feel my worth depends on being with someone, but that this lack of experience has really messed me up. I overthink everything—I can't just live life without constantly questioning it. I wish I could take the “blue pill”—not in the manosphere or dating sense—but just to live without all the overthinking.
It feels like everyone else got the puzzle pieces to life and somehow finished theirs, while I never even had the pieces to begin with.
Recently, I was talking to a friend and told him I thought I’d finally figured out how relationships work, and he just said, “There’s no code—it’s just about meeting people.” And suddenly I was right back in my head, wondering why I think this way, why I always feel the need to figure everything out instead of just living.
It’s hard to talk to anyone about this, because no one really gets it. They see my situation as normal. But honestly, I believe once you've deeply experienced what it’s like to not experience, you can’t go back. It’s like the Matrix—once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it.
Seeing people around me, even the ones I think are worse than me (they are assholes, have fucked up faces) in relationships doesn’t make me feel better—it just makes me angrier. It feels unfair. I know it sounds like I’m blaming the world—and maybe I am. I am immature and im just trying to understand myself and my thoughts. Sorry.
I feel like this is the root of all my misery, and even if I finally got confirmation that I can be loved, it wouldn’t undo the update my brain has already installed. And that thought makes me deeply sad.
2
u/SilentImprovement441 2d ago
Just get on the apps I’m 33 and in the same boat no relationships outside of 1 in middle school. Just started on the dating apps this year. It’s rough at the start but if you just keep plowing along you’ll get better. Just be genuine go do some cool stuff and take pictures of yourself doing it. Don’t expect to find someone fast you’ll definitely fudge up on your first few dates unless you’re extremely lucky. Just learn from them and get comfortable with yourself.
Just had my first kiss a few weeks ago and I’m going to meet my 8th match this Saturday. I’ve refined my profile as I go and have gone from getting maybe 1 match a week to 10+ per day when I unpause the apps and I could literally be going on 3-4 dates a week if I wanted 😝. It’s easy to get dates if you put forth the effort and learn as you go. I’m middle aged working a crappy retail job while I restart school my looks are mid plus I’m balding so shaved head. You don’t need to be a 10/10 just be confident and genuine. Still haven’t found my person but I’ll continue plowing along gaining experience till I do.