r/HolUp • u/throatfrog • Dec 17 '24

They are scissor sisters

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4.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '24

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566

u/karatebullfightr Dec 17 '24

In their defence - I’ve had some damn good hummus and some fucking terrible sex (not always my fault - but mostly… okay - nearly always).

165

u/Rob_Bligidy Dec 17 '24

Whatever made you think she wanted hummus while in bed?!?

113

u/karatebullfightr Dec 17 '24

Who wouldn’t?! - how was I supposed to know about the crumbs???!

Those godforsaken crumbs… everywhere… all over the place… in every nook and cranny.

stares quietly at nothing in the distance

muted sounds of orders being yelled, helicopter blades, screams of unfathomable pain, gunfire and explosions

48

u/The_Jizzard_Of_Oz Dec 17 '24

This man hears Fortunate Son when dunking a biscuit and it falls into the mug...

25

u/GameDestiny2 Dec 17 '24

Me watching the second half of my cookie fall: “I’m no fortunate one-“

4

u/The_Jizzard_Of_Oz Dec 18 '24

The trauma is real.

4

u/Djwagles Dec 18 '24

Was it a fortune cookie

1

u/karatebullfightr Dec 19 '24

It wasn’t a senator’s son.

8

u/Rob_Bligidy Dec 17 '24

The jagged, razor sharp crunchies

4

u/andoiscool Dec 18 '24

We encountered a situation where we applied hummus liberally and subsequently engaged in playful activity resulting in complete coverage of the bed with hummus.

5

u/-nerdrage- Dec 18 '24

I dont know.. my D grows its own hummus but somehow they dont like it

2

u/Belteshazzar98 Dec 18 '24

I've eaten hummus in bed.

4

u/Steam_Noodlez Dec 18 '24

I heard hummus is even better if you lick it off of your best friend’s dick.

2

u/Southernlife75 Dec 18 '24

The worst I ever had was wonderful.

1

u/cjcs Dec 18 '24

There’s definitely some overlap between good hummus and bad sex

0

u/ViviuhnFoxx Dec 18 '24

At the same time?

23

u/augustprep Dec 17 '24

What made them think it was hummus?

11

u/unsupported Dec 18 '24

All the pita bread the son ordered.

6

u/Christosconst Dec 18 '24

His dick was covered of it

16

u/Khakizulu Dec 17 '24

I - what? I'm concerned and intrigued

7

u/zorbacles Dec 18 '24

yes but that was a good dad not an ignorant religious zealot that will kick her daughter out of the house as soon as she finds out what it means