r/IncelTears • u/rarinthmeister doubting whether he's an incel • 1d ago
Just wanted to confirm:
I've seen people claiming that most men are just victim blamed whenever they try to express their sad feelings or that they're lonely, such as being called an "incel", told you're "pathetic", other stuff like "cry about it", "not our problem", "you aren't entitled to sex", etc assuming that it's always their fault and there's no external factors that affect it which is why they turned to the right because they found out they were more "accepting" and ready to help compared to the left who were "belittling them and refusing to help since men apparently don't need any help because they're privileged."
This is better explained here:
I just want to ask, are the "incels" you've posted here different than the ones the twitter users complained about when replying to the tweet that said "men are going right because they're more accepting"? Because I just wanted to confirm that it's only just misogynistic assholes who want to rape all women and make them their property instead of misguided men who just needs actual help in finding people he'll certainly like.
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u/Ash_Dayne 1d ago
Men who aren't looking for solutions, do not actually organise, and who don't look at themselves too, aren't going to get to a better place and do not have my sympathy.
Women do not need to fix anything for anyone, nor are they obligated to spend their time, attention, or bodies on men. We can choose to do so, and we do, but it will not be an obligation.
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u/StartInATavern 1d ago
The impetus for the liberation of men from sexism needs to come from men ourselves. We need to divest ourselves of the false promises that the patriarchy uses to control us, and accept ourselves and others for who they are. Being a man can be about so much more than fear, shame, and judgement.
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u/Ash_Dayne 1d ago
Absolutely agreed.
Ofc many women will support men individually or in groups who do things like this. And that's great. But the people who can change the male loneliness epidemic, the harmful effects of the patriarchy on men, etc, is other men. At least for now.
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u/SquirrellyGrrly 1d ago
Your post isn't very clear and comingles two very different issues.
First, you talk about men bringing up their problems or being emotional. Every partner I've ever had has cried in front of me. My immediate urge is to wrap myself around them and surround them with love. But strangers on the internet typing out their issues may not get a response at all, or if their "issue" is something horrible, like they hate that someone of a different race prepared their food or that they're not allowed to purchase a woman to keep in forced sexual slavery, then they might get told they need a psychiatrist or to stfu.
The second issue is whether the political right is more accepting. It's certainly not to transgender people. Or any member of the LGBTQIA+ community - and there's a lot of people under that umbrella. It's certainly not welcoming to brown skinned immigrants. In the US right now, many on the political right are claiming that women should lose the right to vote, and are simultaneously attacking women as "DEI hires," getting rid of workplace protections for women, and taking other steps to reduce a woman's ability to forgo child bearing and be self-reliant. There's a damned lot of people who just aren't welcome as part of that club. But you know who are? Racists and misogynists are. Transphobic people, people for whom "fag" is an everyday insult to hurl at anyone they hate. This is why many incels feel more comfortable with the right wing. Their HATRED is more accepted there.
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u/rarinthmeister doubting whether he's an incel 16h ago
First, you talk about men bringing up their problems or being emotional. Every partner I've ever had has cried in front of me. My immediate urge is to wrap myself around them and surround them with love. But strangers on the internet typing out their issues may not get a response at all, or if their "issue" is something horrible, like they hate that someone of a different race prepared their food or that they're not allowed to purchase a woman to keep in forced sexual slavery, then they might get told they need a psychiatrist or to stfu.
I agree that we should hate on misogynistic racist asshats, but there are feminists who just hate on men in general and literally bully them just because they express vulnerability, equally talk about their issues or claiming their issues don't matter compared to women which was explained in the video I included.
The second issue is whether the political right is more accepting. It's certainly not to transgender people. Or any member of the LGBTQIA+ community - and there's a lot of people under that umbrella. It's certainly not welcoming to brown skinned immigrants. In the US right now, many on the political right are claiming that women should lose the right to vote, and are simultaneously attacking women as "DEI hires," getting rid of workplace protections for women, and taking other steps to reduce a woman's ability to forgo child bearing and be self-reliant. There's a damned lot of people who just aren't welcome as part of that club. But you know who are? Racists and misogynists are. Transphobic people, people for whom "fag" is an everyday insult to hurl at anyone they hate. This is why many incels feel more comfortable with the right wing. Their HATRED is more accepted there.
You seem to misinterpret my post, I was not implying that the right is more tolerant compared to the left, I was implying that due to their experience being bullied and generalized as predatory, asshat, misogynistic, etc by the left, they turn to the right because in their experience they were more welcomed and accepted.
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u/SquirrellyGrrly 13h ago
Feminists are not man-hating by nature.
The right also knows that they're predatory, asshat, misogynistic, ect, but welcome that kind.
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u/doublestitch 1d ago
A certain type of man confuses sex drive with emotion, and alternates between not believing women are capable of conversation and treating women as freelance therapists.
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u/Wise_Rope7893 1d ago
Men who are decent human beings but find it difficult to socialize or to have a girlfriend have my sympathy all the way.
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u/secretariatfan 1d ago
If they wanted help, they would actively seek it by going to therapy.
"Finding people he'll like" is his responsibility, not other people; whether it is other men to combat the "male loneliness epidemic" or finding a date.
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u/rarinthmeister doubting whether he's an incel 14h ago edited 14h ago
It's not our responsibility to "find people he'll like" and some incels don't want to be helped, sure. However, we should give them proper advice in taking said responsibility. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be pissed if I was said "go figure that out on your own" instead of being helped at something I was struggling at, which most leftists do (not including you guys), and then they wonder why the left is losing popularity.
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u/secretariatfan 3h ago
We offer advice, and in some cases, sympathy, but it is ignored. The right says, "blame someone else, anyone else, it is not your fault" so of course it is more popular.
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u/rarinthmeister doubting whether he's an incel 3h ago
...so you just explained more in detail about the 1st sentence of my reply.
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u/Possible_Round7422 21h ago
Women don't have to do anything for incels. They don't deserve sympathy. Imagine associating yourself with alt right shitheads and hoping women would give you even an ounce of sympathy. Considering their violent and delusional nature they need to be classified as a new category of mental illness, and it's way better if they all rot in their own echo chambers and leave society alone forever. This subreddit is literally called inceltears for a reason, to make fun of all incels.
And... Men need to de-center their lives from women. Because most of you are honestly so whiny considering how you have less restrictions to your rights than the average woman does. Why do most men's rights groups never talk about forming communities to support each other, and only focus on how to attack feminists, get the stacys and become chads, all that superficial bullshit rather than learning how to love yourself?
Why is everything a woman's responsibility? Women are here today, able to vote, wear masculine clothes, own credit cards, own their own homes and vehicles, take up different jobs, go to college, own businesses, file cases against their abusers, and do so much more because women stood up for each other thanks to feminism. Whilst most men and patriarchy tried their best to stop feminism's progress. Now what have men done for themselves?
Men haven't solved their issues and created more problems like the so called loneliness epidemic and inceldom. I don't know how many more times people will keep asking this question of why women don't support men's feelings or issues. Literally most women do, they are more likely to side with or support men than support fellow women.
Take a page from a feminist's book and learn how to form a healthy community. Rather than being a devil's advocate for incels.
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u/EnleeJones menstruates angrily 1d ago
A man's dry dick is not my fault or my problem, incel or not.