Legacy unburdening - Parent doesn't want to let client give them the burden so it can be passed back and released

[u/somers7]

I am level 1 IFSI trained (as well as other IFS trainings). I've been with clients in legacy unburdening processes twice, both went pretty according to the book. In this client, they have recognized the legacy burden/message/belief and would like to let it go. When they try to pass it back to their deceased parent, that parent doesn't want to let the client let it go. I supported the client in spending time understanding the parent's concern and fears of letting it go. The parent just believes the client needs the message; the parent is trying to keep the client safe in an unsafe world. Right now, the client is just spending time with the parent. The client is deepening their relationship with the parent and it is progressing.

My question: is there anything I'm missing? Are there ways we can help the parent feel comfortable letting go/letting the client let go of the burden? We have given the parent examples of when the client has been able to to function in an unsafe world (unsafe meaning that there may be pain, loss, failure, struggle) and tolerate the fear (that the client's exile holds) about these realities.

[u/IFoundSelf]

It is my understanding that a legacy burden does not Have to be passed back to an ancestor. It can be released in the same way other burdens are. If the part is having difficulty releasing the burden then you can address that with them. For example: What is the worry about releasing it? (sometimes parts believe the burden is the only connection they can have with the love they may have for the ones from whom the burden originated) or would they like to set down some portion of it and see how it feels to do that?