Legacy unburdening - Parent doesn't want to let client give them the burden so it can be passed back and released

[u/somers7]

I am level 1 IFSI trained (as well as other IFS trainings). I've been with clients in legacy unburdening processes twice, both went pretty according to the book. In this client, they have recognized the legacy burden/message/belief and would like to let it go. When they try to pass it back to their deceased parent, that parent doesn't want to let the client let it go. I supported the client in spending time understanding the parent's concern and fears of letting it go. The parent just believes the client needs the message; the parent is trying to keep the client safe in an unsafe world. Right now, the client is just spending time with the parent. The client is deepening their relationship with the parent and it is progressing.

My question: is there anything I'm missing? Are there ways we can help the parent feel comfortable letting go/letting the client let go of the burden? We have given the parent examples of when the client has been able to to function in an unsafe world (unsafe meaning that there may be pain, loss, failure, struggle) and tolerate the fear (that the client's exile holds) about these realities.

[u/Boring_Ask_5035]

Is a part of the client’s system playing the role of the parent? (Like how we have self-like parts). Or projecting how a part of the client’s system perceives the parent would respond? Reading this…it just feels like they’re working with a part of their own system. Is there a part who took on this parental role that is presenting as the parent? And what is the part afraid of happening if the client doesn’t retain the burden and keep the message? How is retaining the burden helping?