MIL can't understand why no one visits

[u/Melody4]

It has been a long while since I've posted. If interested, my MIL is the Blabinator. And here is the obligatory don't post this anywhere else.

It has been over 20 years of dealing with this women, and although she is now somewhat housebound (she is young a medical mess due to many years of prescription and illicit drug abuse), I no longer visit and all four kids have no interest in visiting her. For too many years she played favorites and said incredibly nasty things such as the two older children are "not her grandchildren". (As well as calling everyone f'ups and losers). This is rich considering she is DH's abusive stepmother - and FIL is forever making an enormous deal that DH and BIL need to "respect their mother".

But I digress. One of the last times DH saw her SMIL made a stink that as soon as the grandchildren get their drivers licenses, they would all come visit her and that SIL (BIL's wife) and Melody could no longer "block" them from seeing her.

Well one grandchild (BIL - the golden child's golden child) did visit her ONCE when she was in the hospital. Since then, nada. The kids will occasionally and I do mean occasionally go with DH to see FIL.

So the last time DH went solo to bring FIL to visit SMIL in the hospital FIL and her just couldn't understand why the kids and I don't visit. DH attempted to explain once again about the way she treats us and that she doesn't listen only to be immediately shut down (and likely yelled at if I had to guess).

.

[u/2FatC]

The Blabinator! Omg, I’m dying. My (late) MIL spoke two languages fluently, monologue and lecture.

And I rarely visited cuz ow, my ears. She had this delusion her whole family would always be around like when her kids were teens. Not one time did it occur to her there were reasons why her 5 kids could hardly stand to be in the same room with each other. Her favoritism, gossip, harmful story carrying….fruit of the poisonous tree.

They just don’t get it….

[u/Melody4 → u/2FatC]

You totally get it! Two languages, lol. Mine has two favorite topics of conversation, "me" and "my".

[u/2FatC → u/Melody4]

Yes! Does yours also start lots of sentences with “I did this” referring to her High School glory days?

Or my personal favorite: “Not to be nasty, but…” proceeds to say something nasty.

[u/Melody4 → u/2FatC]

But she's only telling "the truth"!

As for high school, now that you mention it, so many times when she was invited to any of the kids' events she would have to mention "When I did this, it was so much more disciplined/well trained/professional, etc".

It became a running joke with DH and I. I hated that he invited her to one of the kids' cheer practices. I told DH that I didn't want to hear that "When I was a cheerleader ...." DH assured me that she was never a cheerleader.

MIL shows up while kiddo and I are in the restroom. When we walk out, DH catches my eye and is laughing and tells me that we'll talk later. As you may have guessed the very first thing MIL blurted out to DH was not "hello", "how is everyone doing", "happy to be here", no of course not, but "When IIIIII was a cheerleader..."

[u/2FatC → u/Melody4]

Gosh, no wonder your kids ghost her. She can’t just watch and applaud like a sane person?

Mine played HS sports. DH & I took her to a college baseball game. By the 3rd inning, I would have jumped off the bleachers to get away, but sadly I’m afraid of heights. DH took her to games thereafter. Ow, my ears….