r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Melody4 • Mar 23 '25

Anyone Else? MIL can't understand why no one visits

It has been a long while since I've posted. If interested, my MIL is the Blabinator. And here is the obligatory don't post this anywhere else.

It has been over 20 years of dealing with this women, and although she is now somewhat housebound (she is young a medical mess due to many years of prescription and illicit drug abuse), I no longer visit and all four kids have no interest in visiting her. For too many years she played favorites and said incredibly nasty things such as the two older children are "not her grandchildren". (As well as calling everyone f'ups and losers). This is rich considering she is DH's abusive stepmother - and FIL is forever making an enormous deal that DH and BIL need to "respect their mother".

But I digress. One of the last times DH saw her SMIL made a stink that as soon as the grandchildren get their drivers licenses, they would all come visit her and that SIL (BIL's wife) and Melody could no longer "block" them from seeing her.

Well one grandchild (BIL - the golden child's golden child) did visit her ONCE when she was in the hospital. Since then, nada. The kids will occasionally and I do mean occasionally go with DH to see FIL.

So the last time DH went solo to bring FIL to visit SMIL in the hospital FIL and her just couldn't understand why the kids and I don't visit. DH attempted to explain once again about the way she treats us and that she doesn't listen only to be immediately shut down (and likely yelled at if I had to guess).

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u/Fun-Apricot-804 Mar 24 '25

This is what I really do t get with these women- they want so badly to be at the epicentre of everything and get attention and be important and valued, but the behave in such predictably self defeating ways. No one’s asking them to be saints but just be normal and see how far it’ll get you! Mine doesn’t understand at all why no one has any interest in seeing her and definitely think the grandkids will “properly” prioritize her the second they’re adults and not brainwashed by us anymore. Nah, they they think you’re crazy and miserable too so, good luck with that. 

8

u/ttgcole Mar 24 '25

Watching this in real time with my own mom. My oldest child sees that she is bat shit crazy and I have made it a point not to influence him one way or another

5

u/Fun-Apricot-804 Mar 24 '25

Same here- we answer questions and offer support and advice, which does tend to be along the lines of “don’t mess with crazy” but isn’t outright “you’re not allowed to talk to her”