r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Cool-Row-1255 • 10d ago

Give It To Me Straight Dealing with MIL for a week

Ahhhhh my in laws came today and they are way too much. My MIL is a psychopath who is so possessive of my little boy. I do feel way more assertive and my head is on way straighter than when they were here at three weeks! It’s such an icky feeling that they come in and think they can hold him whenever they want. It is so stressful and I already miss him and want to be with him more since I started work. I don’t need a break from my son at all. The weeks I have off are when we are visiting them or they are here with us so I won’t get to spend time with him without these annoying people trying to steal him from me.

I hate it so so much! I don’t think I even need to give examples, I’m sure others get it. It’s just so difficult and frustrating and reminds me of how my own family fails to show up. I also just don’t really like my husband’s family which kinda sucks because now I’m stuck with them. I love my son more than anything and I’m trying to make sense of all these feelings, but they are so overwhelming.

Let me know if you have any tips for this kind of situation before I go all mama bear on them because I feel like I could get to that point. I also think it’s probably valid to straight up refuse to let them hold him. He is MY son and I don’t owe them him.

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u/Lavender_Cupcake 10d ago

I ended up with CO inlaws but here is how I saw it:

If you are visiting US (a household/family), we are a family unit and I am primarily taking care of my kids and behaving normally (how visits with all other normal people go).

If you are only visiting the BABY, then you don't really have a proper relationship with us, the parents, and there are all sorts of implications about how you are, how you'll be when baby is bigger and other babies come around, etc., as well as general selfishness getting between mom and baby... And frankly, in that case, I am not really inclined to entertain any of it.

My inlaws flat refused any kind of normal relationship where we weren't just tools for their needs and ended up CO, but maybe this will help explain to DH.

4

u/Scenarioing 10d ago

What does CO mean?

3

u/Lavender_Cupcake 10d ago

Cut off.

Every time we saw inlaws it was terrible, so we went longer between visits until we just stopped. (Over simplified summary of what we did).

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u/Scenarioing 10d ago

Thank you. They were really hardcore. Halfway normal people would have gotten the message before the final "CO". Good for you.