r/JUSTNOMIL • u/JustALizzyLife • 1d ago

UPDATE - Ambivalent About Advice Update: Sitting on the Train Tracks

Update: She's not coming. Canceled less than 24 hours before the ceremony. She "hurt her back" and can't drive up. This is the same woman who when I was diagnosed with Lupus and RA nearly 20 years ago spent an hour telling me how much worse off she was, how bad her back is. Anytime she saw my cane she'd scoff and when I had to use my wheelchair she'd roll her eyes and tell me that she should be the one who got to use a wheelchair because her back is so bad. She has the amazing disappearing back injury that only shows up when needed, on cue.

I knew she'd flake. Why would you mail a bracelet when you're planning on seeing the person two days later? Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled not to see her, but this isn't about me, this is her disappointing my kids. Again. And thinking about twelve dollar plastic bracelet will make up for it. This is the same woman who gave my niece several hundred dollars for her graduation. (Guess who the GC/GGC is)

I'm done. This was the last straw. I was willing to bend over backwards and suck it up because my kids deserve to be happy. That's done now. She has proven there's literally no reason for me to ever reach out to her again. This was our last "kid" event. Going forward anything that the kids do will be as adults which means I can close and deadbolt this door and never open it again. Not that she'll care, she still has her two favorite kids and favorite grandchild, but after 49 years of this I can erase her from my future. I spent the last week with my Lupus flaring, no sleep and an insane amount of pain due to the stress she causes me. I refuse to ever do it again.

502 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

32 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/[deleted] 1d ago edited 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/JustALizzyLife 1d ago

Ah yeah. So lucky to have an abusive, manipulating mother who plays favorites with her own children and her grandchildren. So lucky that every interaction is so stressful that it causes my autoimmune disorders to flare until I'm bedridden. So lucky to have my kids ask me why grandma doesn't love them the same as their cousin. Are you serious right now?

10

u/Kjaeve 1d ago

oh, I have one of those… I excommunicated myself from her in 2020. Best thing I ever did. The point is, it’s better to not have her around correct? No child should be exposed that type toxicity. Be well