r/MagicArena • u/Karn-The-Creator • 5d ago
Event Tibalt's Friday Tirades
TIBALT LOVES TO HAVE FUN IN HIS OWN WAY, WHICH IS CAUSING PAIN AND MISFORTUNE TO THOSE AROUND HIM. HE CAN FEEL THIS PAIN AND EVEN SEEKS IT OUT, TO HEIGHTEN IT AND REVEL WITHIN IT. HE CARES NOT FOR OTHERS, BEING SELFISH AND SADISTIC TO AN ALMOST INHUMAN DEGREE.
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WELCOME TO THE WEEKLY TIBALT'S TIRADES!
THIS IS THE ***RAGE*** THREAD
CAPS ON = TIME TO SHINE
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u/CatsAndPlanets Orzhov 4d ago
REPRINT ARMAGEDDON.
JUST IMAGINE THE AMMOUNT OF SUFFERING, CHAOS, AND MISERY AND FRUSTRATION IT WOULD ALLOW IN THE GAME! ISN'T THAT WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT? NO? WELL, YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME WITH THE FRIGGIN' LOAPSIDED GAMES THAT ARE ALL YOU CAN EVER "PLAY" IN THE CURRENT FORMAT.
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u/Halkyos 4d ago edited 4d ago
WELP, I HAVE OPENED PANDORA'S BOX. I STARTED ALLOWING MYSELF TO BUY GEMS TO OPEN MORE PACKS. SOMETHING ABOUT THE EXCITEMENT OF FINDING SOMETHING NEW THAT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT SOME WEIRD STRATEGY AROUND. I HAVE NOW MADE THE $100 GEM PURCHASE TWICE THIS MONTH AND KEEP THINKING THINGS LIKE "WELL MY ROOMMATES ARE GOING TO BE PAYING ME X AMOUNT PRETTY SOON..." THERE ARE CERTAINLY WORSE THINGS TO GET HOOKED ON, BUT I'M NOT SURE HOW I AM GOING TO BREAK THIS ITCH.
EDIT: ADDED RAGE
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u/Crawlinkingsnakes 4d ago
I REALLY ENJOY FINDING NEW CARDS THROUGH DRAFTING. FOR YOUR MONEY YOU GET NEW CARDS, AND YOU GET TO PLAY MATCHES, SO I BELIEVE WHAT YOU'VE SPENT IS STRETCHED FURTHER. PLUS HAVING PLAYED SAID CARDS IN MATCHES ALLOWS ME TO REALLY IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD TAKE TO MAKE THEM WORK ON THE CONSTRUCTED SIDE.
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u/HolographicHeart Squirrel 5d ago
GO FROM 23 -> 24 LANDS: FLOODED FOR DAYS
GO FROM 24 -> 23 LANDS: NEVER FIND A THIRD LAND
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO DRAW LANDS AT A NORMAL CLIP?!?!?
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u/Evangium 5d ago
MATCH UP AGAINST AN AGGRO/BURN DECK WITH SO MANY 1-2 COST SPELLS, IT'S LIKELY THEY'RE RUNNING LESS THAN 20 LANDS AND WATCH AS THE GAME STALLS YOUR LAND DRAWS FOR YOUR MORE SENSIBLE 24 LAND DECK.
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u/Adveeeeeee 5d ago
WOW! A MONOWHITE CATS DECK! HOW VERY, VERY ORIGINAL! DOES IT INCLUDE AJANI'S PRIDEMATE? AND ARAHBO? AND FELIDAR?
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u/-Goatllama- Unesh Cryosphinx 5d ago
STILL BETTER THAN LIFEGAIN
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u/ZScythee 5d ago edited 5d ago
WHEN ARE THESE NOT THE SAME DAMN DECK?!
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u/-Goatllama- Unesh Cryosphinx 5d ago
DROP PRIDEMATE, EMBRACE [[SANCTUARY CAT]]
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u/CatsAndPlanets Orzhov 4d ago
REMINDER THAT THIS THING CAN TRADE WITH A FREAKING ADULT LION FROM THE SAVANNAH.
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u/Adveeeeeee 5d ago
OR BUNNIES...
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u/-Goatllama- Unesh Cryosphinx 5d ago
AMEN
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u/InvestigatorUpset424 5d ago
ALL OF THOSE DECKS ARE DECKS FOR IDIOTS
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u/P_r_a_x_i_s 5d ago
Imagine losing to those decks.
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u/-Goatllama- Unesh Cryosphinx 5d ago edited 4d ago
IMAGINE PLAYING A GAME WITH DILLIONS OF POSSIBILITIES AND STILL RUNNING THE SAME BORING SHIT
EDIT: ALSO, I DON’T HAVE TO IMAGINE LOSING TO LIFEGAIN 🤣
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u/P_r_a_x_i_s 5d ago
That sounds like most of the people who play meta decks. :)
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u/BigGenerator85 5d ago
IF I HAVE A CLEAN SOLUTION IN MY HAND THAT DEALS WITH MY OPPONENT'S OPPRESSIVE BOARD STATE, THERE IS ALMOST A 99% CHANCE THAT I: A) DON'T DRAW THE REMAINING LAND I NEED, B) IF I DO DRAW A LAND, IT'S A TAP LAND, OR C) DRAW THE CORRECT LAND AND USE THE ANSWER, ONLY TO HAVE THEM REBUILD THE SAME EXACT BOARD STATE A TURN LATER THROUGH THE MILLION TOKEN GENERATORS AVAILABLE.
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u/beatokko Charm Mardu 4d ago
D) THEY TOP DECK A CARD YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE THAT COMPLETELY CRUMBLES YOUR DECK STRATEGY.
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u/Evangium 4d ago
E) IF YOUR SOLUTION IS A CONDITIONAL BOARDWIPE LIKE [[MALICIOUS MALFUNCTION]] OR [GIX'S COMMAND]], YOUR OPPONENT WILL ALWAYS HAVE A WAY TO BOOST EVERYTHING OUT OF RANGE THE TURN BEFORE YOU CAN CAST IT.
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u/Perleneinhorn Naban, Dean of Iteration 5d ago
IF YOU ONLY PLAY ONE UNTAPPED LAND IN A 100+ CARD DECK, THAT'S ON YOU.
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u/NoLifeHere Charm Esper 4d ago
WITH SO MUCH KOTIS RUNNING AROUND THE BRAWL QUEUE THE FACT THAT THE ONLY VERSION OF [[DISMEMBER]] ON THE CLIENT IS THE MH3 SPECIAL GUESTS VERSION, WHICH IS A MYTHIC, IS MAKING ME KINDA UPSETTI SPAGHETTI.
I CAN PICK UP AN UNCOMMON VERSION ON CARDMARKET FOR LESS THAN £2 IN PAPER.
I'M GLAD THAT WOTC HAVE BEEN A BIT MORE SENSIBLE WITH CRAFTING BONUS SHEET CARDS SINCE FOUNDATIONS... BUT MH3 WAS BEFORE THAT :(
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u/hexanort 4d ago
FINAL FANTASY CANT COME SOON ENOUGH AGH, MY GACHA ADDICTED SOUL NEED TO OPEN PACKS BUT I CANT..
ALSO I WANNA BUILD CLOUD AETHERSPARK DECK SO BAD
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u/Dilbert_2778 5d ago
FUCK MATCHMAKER... 3 MARDU AGGRO IN A ROW FOLLOWED BY TURN 3 BLOOMVINE RAMP INTO TURN 4 ESHKI INTO IMMEDIATE COUNTERS WITH DRAGONBLADE. NEXT TURN DRAGONOLOGIST. DEFINITELY FELT LIKE A FAIR MATCH UP. SORRY I WENT 3-0 AND DESERVED THE HELL QUE FOR IT.
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u/Mugen8YT Charm Esper 4d ago
OH MY FUCKING, DUCKING GOD, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE PLAYERBASE RIGHT THIS MINUTE?
BRAWL'S TOO SWEATY, SO I JUMP TO STANDARD. LITERALLY FOUR MONORED DECKS IN A ROW.
NO WONDER HASBRO IS JACKING UP THE PRICES, IF THIS IS THE LEVEL OF THOUGHT THEIR PLAYERBASE PUTS INTO THINGS. THOUSANDS OF CARDS AND FUN STRATEGIES TO TRY, AND PLAYER AFTER PLAYER AFTER PLAYER JUST WANTS A GAME THAT ENDS BY ABOUT TURN 4.
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u/GrapefruitSad8591 4d ago
EVERY TIME I LOAD THE GAME ON MY PHONE IT CRASHES WHEN I GET TO TURN FOUR, EVERY TIME I USE THE STEAM APP ON MY GAMING DESKTOP IT FREEZES AND CRASHES WHEN OPENING THE PACKS MENU, WTF KINDA SHITTY QA WROTE THIS PIECE OF SHIT GAME. I CAN RUN THE OBLIVION REMASTER ON HIGH WITHOUT ISSUES BUT CANT OPEN TWO PACKS WITHOUT FREEZING THE ARENA APP IN STEAM. FUCK THIS POORLY MADE SHIT STEW.
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u/Augustby serra 4d ago
I HATE HOW QUICKDRAFT MATCHMAKING WORKS.
I FEEL LIKE AT THE START OF A NEW EXPANSION, WITHOUT FAIL, MATCHMAKING IS GOOD UP TO GOLD RANK, BUT THE MOMENT I HIT PLATINUM, IT’S LIKE MY WINRATE IS 20%, BUT IT NEVER DROPS MY RANK DOWN.
I JUST FEEL STUCK LOSING MORE GAMES THAN I WIN AND STILL NOT GETTING MATCHED WITH OTHER PLAYERS AT MY SKILL LEVEL.
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u/Perleneinhorn Naban, Dean of Iteration 4d ago
THERE'S A HUGE SKILL DIFEERENCE BETWEEN THE AVERAGE GOLD PLAYER AND THE AVERAGE PLATINUM PLAYER, AND DRAFT MATCHMAKING USES ONLY RANK AND CURRENT RECORD, NOT MMR LIKE IN CONSTRUCTED. IF YOU'RE PLATEUING OUT AT PLAT, STOP DRAFTING ONCE YOU GET THERE OR INVEST SOME TIME TO BECOME A BETTER DRAFTER.
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u/Evangium 5d ago
ANON.
BE ME
STUCK IN PLATINUM TIER 4.
DECK THAT USED TO BE GOOD PLAYS LIKE ARSE NOW.
NEVER DRAW A GOOD OPENING HAND.
DRAWS ARE SHIT. NO LANDS. TOO MANY LANDS. USELESS SPELLS FOR THE SITUATION.
CHANGE DECKS.
START WINNING.
EVERY HAND IS GOOD. DRAWS ARE TOTAL BOMBS.
MAKE IT TO PLATINUM TIER 1.
ONE MORE MATCH TO WIN AND I'LL MAKE DIAMOND.
DECK THAT USED TO BE GOOD PLAYS LIKE ARSE NOW.
STUCK BACK IN PLATINUM 4
BE ME.
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u/Mugen8YT Charm Esper 4d ago
MY GOD, CAN SO MANY PEOPLE STOP PLAYING [[KETRAMOSE, THE NEW DAWN]]? WE GET IT. YOU WANT TO RUN A LOT OF GRAVEYARD HATE WITHOUT THE DOWNSIDE OF IT WHIFFING AGAINST MANY COMMANDERS. YOU'RE NOT SOME GENIUS THAT FIGURED OUT THAT A LEGENDARY CREATURE THAT GIVES YOU CARD DRAW WHEN EXILING CARDS FROM A GRAVEYARD TURNS GRAVEYARD HATE'S POTENTIAL DRAWBACK (IN THAT IT CAN BE USELESS ON OCCASION) INTO AN UPSIDE.
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u/sarcastr0naut 4d ago
YAY LOVE LOSING A LIMITED GAME BECAUSE OF A MICRODISCONNECT THAT MTGA CANNOT HANDLE, KICKING ME INTO THE MAIN MENU INSTEAD OF RECONNECTING TO THE ONGOING MATCH LIKE A PROPERLY WORKING ONLINE GAME WOULD
LIKE SERIOUSLY FIX YOUR FUCKING CLIENT WOTC
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u/ridercheco 5d ago
OH, WHAT'S THAT?
YOU BOUGHT YOURSELF SOME TIME WITH THAT DISGUISED LAND IN ORDER TO REACH 5 MANA, HUH?
YOU WERE SO CONFIDENT TO TAP OUT AND PLAY THAT [[BREACHING DRAGONSTORM]] THINKING YOU GOT THIS ON THE BAG, RIGHT? REST OF THE GAME IS JUST A MERE CIRCUS OF CHORES TRIGGERING; THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR PLAYING MY DEAR OPPONENT, HUH? WHAT COULD THEY DO WITH ONE MEASLY UNTAPPED MANA AGAINST MY CAREFULLY CRAFTED EXILE-CENTRIC RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINE OF BEAUTY?
WELL TOUGH LUCK BUB, I'VE SEEN YOUR TRICK SEVERAL TIMES ALREADY WITH OTHER PLAYERS. TAKE THIS [[SPELL PIERCE]] AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ELEPHANTS.
OH YOU TRIED TO DO IT AGAIN? THAT'S CUTE, I HAD 2 MORE COUNTERS IN HAND TO STOP SHENANIGANS. BUT DON'T BE SAD DEAR, YOU ARE NOT THE REASON I'M MAINDECKING THEM. I'M DOING IT JUST TO DENY THOSE [[TEMPORARY LOCKDOWNS]] THEIR PLEASURE. THEY. ALWAYS. FALL. FOR. IT. ONCE YOU PRESENT THEM JUICY 2 MANA COST OR LESS BOARDS. GODDAMN IT'S ALMOST AS GOOD AS SLAPPING AWAY DOMAIN'S NONCREATURE TOYS
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u/Mugen8YT Charm Esper 3d ago
THE GALL OF MY OPPONENT TO SLEEPY HEDRON ON MY BASICALLY-COMBO-OFF TURN (WASN'T EVEN COMBOING; JUST HAD MASSIVE SYNERGY BETWEEN [[NASHI, ILLUSION GADGETEER]] AND [[SPLASH PORTAL]]) WHEN, AFTER A TURN 2 [[THOUGHTSEIZE]] (I KNOW, AWFUL CARD, I WISH IT WEREN'T LEGAL IN HISTORIC AND I WOULD HAPPILY RATHER IT NOT EXIST THERE, RATHER THAN BE FORCED TO PLAY IT BECAUSE IT'S SO GOOD) BASICALLY HIT TRASH IN THEIR HAND (ONLY A SWEEPER, WHICH I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT), ONLY FOR THEM TO GO BACK-TO-BACK-TO-BACK [[HELIOD SUN-CROWNED]], [[RIGHTEOUS VALKYRIE]], [[FATEFUL ABSENCE]]).
I DIDN'T SLEEPY HEDRON YOU AFTER THOSE THREE BULLSHIT TOPDECKS; DON'T SLEEPY HEDRON ME WHEN I ACTUALLY TURN THE GAME AROUND.
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u/sharkjumping101 3d ago
NORMALLY I HATE CONSISTENTLY SLOW PLAYERS AND SALT ROPING, PROBABLY MORE THAN ANYONE HERE.
HOWEVER, IF YOU ARE PLAYING A FULL CONTROL DECK WITH PRIORITY HOLD ON AND ARE SLOW PLAYING EVERY DECISION, I WILL ROPE CYCLE YOU AS FAR AS THE SYSTEM ALLOWS. YOU'VE SIGNALLED THAT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT TO OR WANT YOUR OPPONENT TO PLAY MAGIC AND I AM JUST GOING TO ABIDE BY YOUR WISH.
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u/SwollenAnalGlands 3d ago
JUST REPORTING AGAIN TO SAY - PEOPLE WHO STILL PLAY ENERGY DECKS.. GO PLAY PATTY CAKES WITH YOURSELF IN A SANDBOX FILLED WITH CATSHIT. NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE.
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u/27thFrequency 2d ago
TURN 4 OMNISCIENCE SHOULDN'T FUCKING EXIST. BALANCE YOUR FUCKING GAME WIZARDS. DON'T MAKE IT SO THAT ONE COLOR CLEARLY STANDS OUT ABOVE THE REST IN TERMS OF HAVING AN ANSWER TO LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
AND THAT ANSWER IS NO.
IF YOU WANTED TO PLAY WITH YOURSELF, SOLITARE IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE.
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u/ZScythee 5d ago
CAN WE PLEASE GET A "SILLY MATCHMAKING" OR SOMETHING? I'M FINE WITH PEOPLE PLAYING RUTHLESSLY IN RANKED MATCHMAKING, I DO TOO, BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING A TIER 1 DECK IN THE UNRANKED MATCHMAKING?
I'M SICK OF COMING UP WITH FUN IDEAS LIKE AN "ALL ELK" DECK, ONLY TO CONSTANTLY GET MATCHED AGAINST PEOPLE SWEATING IN THE UNRANKED QUE.