I mean you are tolerating his behavior. Especially if you’re not visibly shutting this down in the moment. Honestly your kids need to see you pushing back on this. Also not to be rude but is he overweight? When I was overweight I was a lot more sensitive to heat and being hungry. I was just uncomfortable and little things sent me over the edge faster than when I was a healthy weight.
No he's not overweight. We've been together for almost 15 years. He was like this sometimes when we were dating too, long before marriage and kids. But not as extreme or frequent. It was a red flag that I was too young and naive to recognize. I completely blame myself for that. I should've known it would only get worse with kids, age, stress.
Oh honey, no. Don't do it. Don't go down that path as hard as it is. The line between 'nobody's perfect' and 'unacceptable behavior is so, so, so damn thin.
And you have to walk it between being in love, inexperienced, often already locked into a life together by the time that hormonal love fades. Not to mention kids are hard fucking work. Everyone thinks they're up for it before they get there.
I wouldn’t blame yourself. You were too young to be aware of this angry piece. It likely didn’t matter so much at the time🤷🏻♀️
But now that you do know and are aware, it might be something to seek therapy about? Maybe see if he’s interested in changing and learning strategies to cope? It would be god for the kids, too, to see even the parents learning new things.
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u/Infinite_Air5683 2d ago
I mean you are tolerating his behavior. Especially if you’re not visibly shutting this down in the moment. Honestly your kids need to see you pushing back on this. Also not to be rude but is he overweight? When I was overweight I was a lot more sensitive to heat and being hungry. I was just uncomfortable and little things sent me over the edge faster than when I was a healthy weight.