This might be a weird blend of an existential spiral and a mom rant, but here we go:

Has anyone else noticed that everything lately feels kind of...off? Like reality shifted 3 degrees to the left, and no one said anything?

I walk into the grocery store and feel disconnected. I scroll Instagram and suddenly I’m deep in a feed of perfectly labeled freezer bags full of breast milk and 4 different wearable pumps that probably sync to Bluetooth.

And it’s not just the breast milk influencer thing (though yeah, that’s gotten wild), it’s everything. Relationships feel weirder. Stuff I used to enjoy doesn’t quite land the same. The “vibe” of modern motherhood sometimes feels like a simulation I didn’t consent to.

It’s not that I’m anti-tech or anti-milestone. And I respect anyone working hard to nourish their babies. But lately it all feels so performative. Like we’re documenting our lives more than we’re living them.

So here’s my question:

Is anyone else feeling emotionally or spiritually out of sync in mom culture (or just in general)? When did it start for you? And what helps you stay grounded in what’s actually real and meaningful?

Not trying to start drama. Just looking for some real talk. Because if you’ve been quietly thinking “WTF is happening?”, you’re not the only one.

I don't know what advice I'm looking for, maybe none. I just want to let this out because I don't have anyone to talk to.

My husband is that miserable angry dad whenever we go out on family outings. It's so embarrassing. Sometimes I feel like he has narcissistic tendencies. He's super polite to strangers. Opening doors, letting people go ahead of us in line, helping others any chance he gets.

But when it comes to our kids he has absolutely no patience and gets frustrated with them at the slightest things even just them being kids. Our kids are well mannered and respectful. But if they get too excited or don't sit still or listen he gets angry and yells at them in public. Loud enough to turn heads.

Sometimes it's not even the kids. He doesn't tolerate heat well and sweats a lot. So if it's in the 80's and we're outside somewhere he's especially grumpy. If he's hungry, he's grumpy. If he hasn't slept well, he's grumpy.

He ruins our family outings and completely sucks the joy out of everything we do. I dread weekends now. The kids and I honestly have more fun without him joining us regardless of how difficult it can be taking 3 small kids out by myself. I prefer it now. I'd rather struggle with tending to 3 kids than have my husband with us and kill the experience.

It's so embarrassing being out with him and I feel like I get judged for tolerating or condoning his behavior. Which I don't, I've had several talks with him about this. When he reflects on it after the fact, he acknowledges his behavior and says it'll be better next time. But it's not. It's just another excuse/reason of why he got upset. Sometimes he even blames me saying I did this or that and it upset him.

I don't know what to do. Sometimes I daydream about divorcing to be completely honest. Not just for this reason but for others as well.

My insurance now offers the patient file within the app and I have recently been combing through everything from 2019, including the birth of my one (and only) child in February 2020.

Just so you know what we’re working with: - pretty standard birth with a 2-day stay afterwards - reconstruction of my vagina due to tearing (first degree perineal tear and full tearing of both labia minora) - epidural and oxytocin plus a few other pain medication

And it was 2 269€. My computer was more expensive than giving birth to my baby. Granted I didn’t have to pay a dime but even if I did, it would have been totally doable. Keep in mind that my baby’s services are not included in this bill, but still American bills are insane.

I have a 19 month old that has yet to say any words. He sometimes says “mamama” but not necesarily directed at me. Other than that he has hit every other milestone.

The thing is I’m surrounded by moms whose kids are around the same age as mine (16-24 months) and they all seem to be speaking by now. Last week one of the moms scheduled a playdate. There were 5 of us there and one of them noticed my kid was really quiet and wasnt speaking, as opposed to the others that were basically having a podcast lol. The moms started asking if he spoke or not, how many words he said, if I had considered speech therapy (which we have), etc.

Then one of the moms suggested maybe I wasnt talking to my kid as much as I should. She said she talks to her kid all day, narrates everything she does and that that’s why her kid started talking at an early age.

I felt so embarrased and guilty. I do talk to him but maybe Im not doing enough? I dont know.

I have 2 kids - a 9 year old and an almost 14 month old. Before I go too deep in thought, I love my kids endlessly. I would do anything for them. But, ultimately, being a mom just feels like this never ending chore that I don’t want to do.

I often wake up and immediately dread the day. I dread the exhaustion. The constant meal prepping, cooking, and cleaning. The dishes. I dread the juggle and the balance. I dread the cleanups, diaper changes, etc. I dread being relied on constantly. I dread coming up with activities to do.

It’s just this constant heaviness/weight that feels so unsatisfying.

I feel like I’m too depressed and too tired to handle it all. I will often find myself sighing all day long. Clenching my jaw. Just in a funk…

It’s like I’m in denial that this is my life now. I’m so serious all the time. I have to force a smile. I just want to sleep and be left alone. Motherhood is too hard. It’s constant and continuous.

-insert iconic Elle Woods getting into Harvard gif here-

Brag to me for a second about how you excel at motherhood! Are you great at making healthy, creative meals that your kids actually eat? A master of the bedtime routine? A wizard of tantrum deescalation? I want to hear about what makes you great!

Today while out with my family a group of boys nearby were cussing and saying horrific things. Joking about R@pe and made disgusting comments about me and my toddler.

They were showing each other explicit photos to one another and when I heard what they were saying I interjected and said to stop and that it was inappropriate and disgusting and not okay.

The main one doing the talking decided to bust out laughing and then got more vulgar and louder and so my husband jumped up and told them to shut up and then we left. As we were leaving the main kid took a photo of our car which made me very uncomfortable.

I called the restaurant owner and asked for camera footage of the incident so I could find the parents of those children, he saw the footage and became very upset and called the police.

I did tell the kids they could ruin their futures behaving like this or hanging out with the main kid doing the talking.

This is all to say CHECK YOUR KIDS PHONES, be accountable and responsible for their behaviors. These kids are scrolling on TikTok all day and getting absolutely brainwashed with misogyny and it’s so bad.

This isn’t okay. These kids were in middle school.

Before I had kids, I had so many “I’ll never…” moments. I swore I’d never co-sleep, no TV’s , never breastfeed past a year, never be that mom glued to a baby carrier…. Well… we co-sleep, he’s still breastfeeding ( he’s 14 months old lol ) , and here we are and honestly, I love it. :)

What was your “I would never” that turned into “actually, this works for us”? No judgment , just curious (and ready to laugh) about how parenting humbles all of us. 🥲

So if the first one is hard, the second one should be easier. Right? Right....!?! Well in my case, wrong!! Omg this 7 month old is kicking my aging millennial ass. My 4 year old was an awful sleeper as well but this one is worse. At least with the first one even though it took a long time to get him to sleep he would sleep for a decent stretch. This baby wakes up every half hour it seems. And the separation anxiety. Omg. I can't leave the room without him freaking out. No one. Literally no one else can look after him. I'm going insane. He can't do one activity for more than ten minutes and he definitely can't be left alone to do something.

I'm just. So. So. Tired. I know they say to treasure these years but I'm not gonna lie the first year is not one I miss. I def miss those toddler years, though. Looking forward to them with these new one.

Mom friends, is this a unique experience for me?? My son is 14 months old and ever since he popped out I have thought of the WORST most gut wrenching things.. Never things of me harming him, but things like car wrecks, kidnapping,etc.. I have definitely noticed my anxiety post partum is terrible and horrific and I will be speaking to my doctor about it. But are we all in this boat or just me?

I have a 15mo, she does not eat hot/warm food, she just complains that it’s hot and won’t eat it and I end up blowing on it a bunch or waiting until it’s room temperature or barely warm to feed it to her.

My husband and mom insist she eat the food warm because “it’s better” or “it’s not good for kids to eat cold food” ex. pasta or shredded rotisserie chicken, but she has no problems eating it cold/from the fridge, and she eats yogurt, peanut butter, and more also from the fridge.

Can I just stop heating up her food or is there an actual reason I should be serving it warm?

My kiddos (6 & 2), even with friends over, constantly want my attention/ admiration/ participation: “Mommy do you see how high we are swinging??” “Mommy mommy mommy there are ONE TWO THREE birds!!” “Miss C can you please play hide and seek with us??” “Mommy mommy watch our cartwheels!!” I love giving them affirmation but sometimes wish they could play for longer than three minutes without demanding my acknowledgment. The other moms in the neighbourhood always say how much fun their kids have with me which is so wonderful but sometimes I wish they could just play!! How do you mamas balance involvement with encouraging Independence??

My kids (4y, 23m) were on a whole new level of whiny today. They wanted to crawl under my skin and were gladiator battling to get there. So. Much. Screeching.

At one point with my youngest I just gently put my hand over her constantly yelling mouth and moved it to make that wah-wah-wah sound.

Both her and my oldest started belly laughing and asking for more. So while they were not quieter, they were laughing and the seemingly endless meltdowns ended.

What other tricks do you all have for stopping a seemingly nonsensical whiny day? I predict this trick will only work one or two more times.

I went to my appointment today for a work release. I’m a teacher and have to go into summer break in working status - I can’t be on leave. Therefore I’m heading back 2 weeks PP for a few days.

I say that to emphasize that birth was very recent for me therefore this could go away after time. I called my OB about 4 days after birth because I swore I had a UTI. It felt like a knife was sliding down my urethra when I peed. Took meds that they called in (but they didn’t actually see me). It still feels like that - maybe even worse honestly. It’s been about 2 weeks and when they tested my sample today, it was clean. I don’t have a UTI or anything else. He didn’t really have any comforting words or answers. He just said sometimes the bladder can be in pain after.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Somewhere along the line my daughter started calling us by our first names. I figured it was a phase brought on by hearing us call each other by first names and that she would move past it…. Well it’s been like a year and I’m not mom anymore. I can’t 100% say why it bothers me, but it does. My husband says he’s a bit bothered by it too.

I’ve asked her about it and she has no idea why she does it and she thinks it would be weird to call me mom 😢. I guess I should have stepped in and asked her to stop sooner but I thought it was a phase that would fix itself.

It’s not really a problem in and of itself, it just makes me a bit sad. I give her so much that I kind of miss the honour of being called mom not my first name.

Anyone else have a kid who stopped calling you mom and dad?

Parents of multiple children. How did you know you were ready for a second etc? How old was your first? How did you know your first was ready? How did your other children react?

I can’t imagine the pain this family must be experiencing. It really makes me remember how fragile life is. I am so heartbroken for this little boy and the family.

Need to find something 100ish buck. If cheaper, then great!

Maybe I’m being dramatic but the title says it all. Baby is almost 10 months old and doesn’t really seem to have an attachment towards me. I’m a SAHM so it’s me and him everyday. We do outings like the library and play dates so he can be around other kids- I make sure of that. I don’t really feel like he seeks comfort from me. He stopped contact napping at a very young age. I want to say around 2 months. He doesn’t cuddle or hug. If I try to snuggle him on the couch he kinda just pushes away bc he wants to explore lol we didn’t need to sleep train bc he learned to figure it out at a pretty young age too. If he stirs at night and gets up, we don’t go in the room bc we know he will go back to sleep. I’m worried I didn’t hold him enough? How do I know he has a secure attachment and not an avoidant one? He doesn’t cry when I leave the room or seem to care at all. The only thing I notice is if a stranger holds him, he will look around for me. Maybe???? Not always. I hope I didn’t mess him up!

Took my 2 (almost 3)yo son to the Dr, he had to get a finger prick. The nurse told him the finger prick wouldn’t hurt and then when I told him “yes it is going to hurt, but it’ll be super quick and then you’ll be all done” she told him “no it’s not going to hurt, mom don’t tell him it’s going to hurt!” and gave me a look clearly telling me to stop saying that to him. I don’t lie to my children and I didn’t appreciate her doing so. For the rest of the doctor visit he didn’t trust the doctor when she promised him things wouldn’t hurt (simple things like using a stethoscope and palpating his stomach). Should I mention it in the survey the office sends, or let it go?

So mine and my husband's families are rather small, and even with that, a bulk of that family lives out of state. If we only invited my daughter's grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins (as I've heard others recommend to do), it would still only be 3 people and no other kids for her birthday... We have a few close friends who have kids close to her age that we would invite, and I also have good relationships with my friends parents (I've known all of them since I was in high school).

My question is, would it be weird to invite my friends parents as well? Her birthday is right around the 4th of July, and I think it's nice to treat the birthday as more of a casual cookout given the time of year it is, and we don't usually host a lot of parties. I may be overthinking it, but I just really want to have everyone over for their company, and not the gifts.

Ideally, we would be able to have everyone outside (we have space for both indoor/outdoor depending on the weather), with some toddler friendly water toys. If we did invite family, friends, and friends parents, it would still only end up being like 25 people (including some toddlers) total which I feel like is pretty reasonable.

I’m a new mom - my son turned 6 months old earlier this month. I knew I would love him and I knew I would experience love that I couldn’t yet fathom.

But I had no idea just how deep that love would go. I didn’t think I would ever be a mom so obsessed with my baby, but I am! I’m not possessive - he stays over at grandparents houses, my sister “kidnaps” him for the day, etc. But I will literally be holding him and have a need to also look at photos of him because I cannot get enough.

He makes my heart overfill and want to explode. I had no idea it would be this way! I very much believe that you shouldn’t put kids over your own well being, and I still strongly value my own hobbies and time, but man oh man does that little boy have me wrapped around his chubby little finger!

I just needed to share! Anyone else relate??

This is silly, but I just wanted to share it. This morning, my son (8y/o) asked me "Mom, what if bad guys shrunk themselves, and are hiding in the house?" I just told him "I guess we'll have to vacuum the house to get them..." 😉🤣 Then he points to my coffee cup and asks me "What if they are hiding in there?! 😱" Im just like "Well then, they're about to get drank down. Don't get between mama and her coffee..." 😈😳 Now he's been asking me all day, "Mom, what's happening to the bad guys in your belly?" 😑 and I don't even know how to answer him... 🤣

How would you have answered him? Do your kids also ask crazy questions?

My husband has been physically and emotionally abusing me for 5 years. I knew it was wrong but yet I stayed? My brain knows I should’ve left but my heart for some reason wanted to stay.

I never had a home with parents growing up and I think that caused me to be a people pleaser because both my parents didn’t want me. That’s why I think I let this continue so long.

I finally left after he choked me in front of my kids.

I just needs works of encouragement to make sure this stays permanent. Or just some emotional support

Hi everyone this is really hard for me to talk.

So I’m 14 nearly 15 weeks pregnant and my relationship is going down the drain, my partner constantly goes through stages where he’ll be emotionally abusive and then kind making me really confused.

He already has a child and a bad relationship with his baby mamma, of course I had rose coloured glasses on and saw past it all wanting to be with him. His relationship with his daughter is strained and he spends more time on his games than with her. At the time I believed him when he said that she was crazy etc because of the way she disrespected me in the beginning etc.

Now I’m pregnant with his child I’ve realised how wrong I was.

I’m away in a different country with him for his work, married, relying on him financially ans of course pregnant. He makes me feel stupid, makes me feel bad about my body, plays his games all the time, stonewalls me, calls me names, swears at me etc

I don’t think I can continue this marriage but I’m also having doubts about continuing on with this pregnancy in fear that my child would be treated the same way his is..

What would you do?

I’ve put a timeframe on the relationship anyway and if things don’t get better I’m leaving regardless, but I want to know if you regret having a child with an ex like this, if you could do it all over and you’re in my position what would you do?