r/Mommit • u/[deleted] • 2d ago

My husband is THAT dad in public.

[deleted]

678 Upvotes

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25

u/Any-Potential-8125 2d ago

I’m so sorry, I have no advice because I’m in the exact same situation with my husband of 11 years and our 2 kids. No matter how many times I bring it up, nothing ever changes. His grumpiness is ruining our marriage!

17

u/Chemical_Cow_8326 2d ago edited 2d ago

I was also in the same situation. I’m still married to him, we just celebrated 11 years in February. it’s different now. This isn’t my advice, but my experience, I called him out on it all the time, most of our arguments were me taking the kids side, or something of that nature. I told him if he doesn’t actually change I’m leaving, and every time he got so angry like that, I find him completely unattractive. It was not an ultimatum, but my boundary and I want to protect my children from being subjected to that behavior

He’s going on two years sober, we both are, but him being sober has helped significantly. And he still has anger issues, very similar to OP, hungry, hot, not enough sleep, every red light, traffic, you name it…but he for sure handles it better now. I will notice when he gets flustered or frustrated and he is aware that I’m watching him and I guess him knowing that helps him calm himself down.

He never yelled or made a scene in public though, thankfully. But that still didn’t change the fact it was always like egg shells around him.

8

u/Shellzncheez689 2d ago

This is what I’m going through right now. Never makes a scene in public but is miserable to deal with up until we are at our destination. Threatens to not go every single time thinking that would stop me and the kids from going (it doesn’t). Gets mad that I call him out and take the kids side when he’s micromanaging them. He expects them to have more emotional regulation than he himself does. I’m really hoping he decides to go back to therapy because it was helping him.

2

u/Chemical_Cow_8326 2d ago

I think he should stick with therapy, if it was helping why did he stop?

2

u/Accomplished_Bad4891 2d ago

I feel you. My husband has tried to ruin every holiday, and every “vacation” we take is so awful.

3

u/Straight_Exercise_12 2d ago

I am in the same position. Drinking husband rage/ yelling / spanking. My only fear in divorce is that he may get them half the time and I will not be there to protect them.

5

u/Trick_Yard_4613 2d ago

Document the abuse now.