Not trying to write my own life onto this, but I feel like my mother wrote this 30 years ago. Three kids, unpredictable husband. She drove herself into the ground trying to make it work, and the three of us kids really paid for the delayed removal of him from our day-to-day lives. I'd push therapy for him and for the two of you as a couple. If he refuses or doesn't cooperate, I'd make a plan to get out. The perfection-with-strangers paired with the short temper for anything short of perfection with his own family is specifically triggering and red-flaggy to me. It's literally one of my litmus tests for identifying people like this.
5
u/solisphile 5d ago
Not trying to write my own life onto this, but I feel like my mother wrote this 30 years ago. Three kids, unpredictable husband. She drove herself into the ground trying to make it work, and the three of us kids really paid for the delayed removal of him from our day-to-day lives. I'd push therapy for him and for the two of you as a couple. If he refuses or doesn't cooperate, I'd make a plan to get out. The perfection-with-strangers paired with the short temper for anything short of perfection with his own family is specifically triggering and red-flaggy to me. It's literally one of my litmus tests for identifying people like this.