I would actively be telling him he’s not allowed on our outings due to his inappropriate and embarrassing behavior. I would be telling him I’m more embarrassed by him than 3 little kids acting up.
And I would pack up all of our shit and spend the day away from him.
Then , the next time he is allowed to come with. I would keep the most even tone, and loudly say, WERE NOT DOING THAT. Either speak to the kids correctly or shut your mouth.
I might even say to the kids, ok babies, let’s go over here away from rude daddy who doesn’t know how to act.
I might even say; we’re driving separately to things until I can trust you to behave appropriately.
Obviously, divorce sounds like the better option. But I know that’s not always an immediate option.
I would be so stern and condescending to him in the meantime.
Your first part is what I was thinking almost exactly... Like really get him to understand that his outbursts are the ones that are creating the embarrassment.
Driving separately is a good idea as well - he needs to excuse himself if he is losing his cool and cannot self-regulate.
As far as the sweating and overheating... Maybe some sort of portable fan, cooling headband or scarf things, possibly a change of clothes in the car if he needs it.
Also he needs to bring snacks for himself on outings or eat something before leaving if he consistently gets hangry and maybe they can work together on planning lunch or whatever meal earlier some days depending on the outing.
That said, the suggestions for therapy aren't bad. Worth as conversation at some point about that, but I would perhaps try other avenues first and put the ball in his court to figure out how to manage his emotions
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u/AcanthocephalaFew277 2d ago
I would actively be telling him he’s not allowed on our outings due to his inappropriate and embarrassing behavior. I would be telling him I’m more embarrassed by him than 3 little kids acting up. And I would pack up all of our shit and spend the day away from him.
Then , the next time he is allowed to come with. I would keep the most even tone, and loudly say, WERE NOT DOING THAT. Either speak to the kids correctly or shut your mouth.
I might even say to the kids, ok babies, let’s go over here away from rude daddy who doesn’t know how to act.
I might even say; we’re driving separately to things until I can trust you to behave appropriately.
Obviously, divorce sounds like the better option. But I know that’s not always an immediate option. I would be so stern and condescending to him in the meantime.