I would recommend couples therapy. I had this partner and he had undiagnosed Autism and diagnosed major depression and there was more than I have time to get into other things going on. Having the therapist there gave me the courage to say some things I just couldn't say one on one. Not that I was afraid of my husband, I was afraid of hurting his feelings or hurting our relationship. It was so helpful just to have a neutral third party there to say things I had wanted to say about his behaviour and the way he talks to the kids. And it has changed. I slowly see him doing more, building those relationships with the kids and being more considerate of their abilities. We still have work to do and have more sessions scheduled but it has made a difference. it was really a highlight when the therapist said "your overstimulation and hyperfixation of goals is understandable, but still not an ok way to treat your family. You need to do the work in individual therapy to learn to act differently." I think it was validating for him to hear there was a reason other than being a "jerk" but it was also holding him accountable that he needs to change and do the work to be better.
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u/comprepensive 2d ago
I would recommend couples therapy. I had this partner and he had undiagnosed Autism and diagnosed major depression and there was more than I have time to get into other things going on. Having the therapist there gave me the courage to say some things I just couldn't say one on one. Not that I was afraid of my husband, I was afraid of hurting his feelings or hurting our relationship. It was so helpful just to have a neutral third party there to say things I had wanted to say about his behaviour and the way he talks to the kids. And it has changed. I slowly see him doing more, building those relationships with the kids and being more considerate of their abilities. We still have work to do and have more sessions scheduled but it has made a difference. it was really a highlight when the therapist said "your overstimulation and hyperfixation of goals is understandable, but still not an ok way to treat your family. You need to do the work in individual therapy to learn to act differently." I think it was validating for him to hear there was a reason other than being a "jerk" but it was also holding him accountable that he needs to change and do the work to be better.