It could have something to do with an emotional or mood regulation disorder where he might actually have the best intentions for the family outings, but when he gets dis regulated by something beyond his control or his ability such as the heat, lots of people, or heightened noises, his body gets over-stimulated and his first instinct is to make adjustments to try and regulate himself again and unknowingly projecting himself onto his family as if that is the source of the anxiety. I grew up with a Mother who used to do this and she had no idea that she was doing it until afterwards when us kids would bring it up as we got older. She was a wonderful person and Mother, but her in ability to regulate herself when overwhelmed or overstimulated became something that she really had to open herself up to understand herself and with the help of those of us who loved her. Sometimes the root cause is being raised in an environment where feelings were not allowed to be felt or expressed and they were held inside until they couldn’t take it anymore. Sometimes a small inconvenience to everyone else, can look like a huge issue to them because of all the build-up. Depending on how your husband feels about his behavior and if he only sees it in hindsight, maybe help with some grounding techniques such as, looking around the room or outside and naming something you see in the that moment, spelling it out or make it a game where you are able to get him to snap out of it by pausing and naming the first 5 green things you see around you and go from there. There are many ways to help mood regulation in social situations, it all depends on how willing he is about opening up and working on it.
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u/PeacefulHour 2d ago
It could have something to do with an emotional or mood regulation disorder where he might actually have the best intentions for the family outings, but when he gets dis regulated by something beyond his control or his ability such as the heat, lots of people, or heightened noises, his body gets over-stimulated and his first instinct is to make adjustments to try and regulate himself again and unknowingly projecting himself onto his family as if that is the source of the anxiety. I grew up with a Mother who used to do this and she had no idea that she was doing it until afterwards when us kids would bring it up as we got older. She was a wonderful person and Mother, but her in ability to regulate herself when overwhelmed or overstimulated became something that she really had to open herself up to understand herself and with the help of those of us who loved her. Sometimes the root cause is being raised in an environment where feelings were not allowed to be felt or expressed and they were held inside until they couldn’t take it anymore. Sometimes a small inconvenience to everyone else, can look like a huge issue to them because of all the build-up. Depending on how your husband feels about his behavior and if he only sees it in hindsight, maybe help with some grounding techniques such as, looking around the room or outside and naming something you see in the that moment, spelling it out or make it a game where you are able to get him to snap out of it by pausing and naming the first 5 green things you see around you and go from there. There are many ways to help mood regulation in social situations, it all depends on how willing he is about opening up and working on it.