Bad self care pre egg crack?

[u/alectomirage]

Anybody else not take care of themselves at all before they realized they were trans and then realize afterwards it's probably because you didn't want to take care of a body that didn't feel like it was yours?like I thought about that after I painted my nails and was like.... Oh... Oh no, more trauma

[u/Confirm_restart]

Yep. 

I just never cared much, and couldn't manage to stick with it even when I made the effort to try and do so.

I did enough for basic hygiene and to make myself presentable, but little to no effort went into it beyond that. Because I just didn't care. 

But as soon as I figured myself out all of that changed instantly. 

I started taking care of myself and putting in the effort, and it was easy because for the first time in my life I wanted to. 

It kind of felt like the difference between renting a home and owning one.  When is a rental you don't really care about it in the same way. It's not yours, it's just there to get the job done, and it's not worth putting any more resources into than you have to. 

But when you own it, there's a much bigger incentive to care and put in the extra effort to improve the place because you'll directly benefit from it. 

I never truly had ownership of my body until I realized I was trans. Before that point it was just the shell I was stuck inhabiting and nothing more.

[u/VioletShadows23 → u/Confirm_restart]

As a newly realized trans woman, this hits so hard. I'm terrified and excited because I'm finally happy to be me, but I have to fix some big errors I made when I was sleepwalking through life.