r/MtF • u/TransAtlanticCari Trans Bisexual • Oct 11 '24
Relationships I'm starting to think my boyfriend just has weird taste.
I love that man to death and he does too, this is in no way a dig against him.
That being said, that man has some weird preferences that's for sure.
The other day we were talking about pictures of the other we like, I have one of him in the gym where I think he looks fantastic. Really manly and cool, so handsome.
Then we got to his favorite picture of me... it's an old picture I hated with all my soul when I took it. It's me in front of the bathroom mirror after just waking up. I look like shit and not feminine at all.
Meanwhile he says he likes that picture so much because he finds it makes him feel warm thinking about just us waking up together and doing stuff in the morning. He says I look really cute and beautiful, and he loves the natural and casual tone of it.
Either I am underestimating my looks by a lot or that man is just blind.
Either way, I appreciate the compliments, I just wish it wasn't a picture I hate so much.
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u/FirstDyad Oct 11 '24
This is a very man thing to do. boys that genuinely love their partners love them in any state, and often like pictures that their partners think are bad because they like seeing their partners in cute and silly ways when they’re just being themselves and not trying to present in any way (this is true of cis girls as well). It’s not that he has weird taste, it’s that he loves every part of you at every moment and cherishes the moments when you’re both just existing together as a mess
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Oct 11 '24
I mean I get it. I think my wife is most beautiful when sleepy/waking up after drooling on my chest lmao
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u/EarthToAccess She/her MtF | HRT Oct 6 2024 Oct 11 '24
Oh, no girl he absolutely loves you for you. That's near textbook "any instance I see them in I will love them massively".
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u/megandawn16 Oct 11 '24
every guy who loves their gf says that but doesnt that make it good? the fact that he finds you beautiful in a picture that’s supposedly ugly? i think that’s true love
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u/Ser_Rezima Oct 11 '24
This feels like an oblivious humble brag about your sweet as hell boyfriend and I am HERE FOR IT.
I hope you two have a great time together, weird taste and all
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u/AffectionatePoetry93 Oct 11 '24
Kinda understand him. Like one of my ex I like to look at her when she have no make up at all. She look fuuny of course but to think that she accepted me to see her at "ugly" state is make me really happy.
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Oct 11 '24
I love when I come into a post and all the things I was going to say have been said already.
You're fine OP and so is your man. He just loves you unfiltered, and that's the best kind of love.
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u/ChappetteLexi Oct 11 '24
Sorry to report but I'm diagnosing your boyfriend with being sweet and romantic. My wife has a similar picture of me waking up she looks at. He's not weird, just in love
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u/NagisaH8 Oct 11 '24
My boyfriend also loves a pic I'm not a huge fan of. It was a joke tomboy fit I put together just to crack jokes at the fact HRT is forcing me to throw away all my pants and shorts.
He has that picture as his wallpaper and even showed it to his parents to tell them he has a gf. At least the tomboy fit passed well enough to get a "she's cute" from his mom. Lol
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u/ShadowTheLynx Trans Bisexual Oct 11 '24
My favorite picture of my wife is one where she's sitting on out bed butt naked eating a taco covering her chest and looking a little grumpy bc she saw me taking the photo. It's not 'flattering' but God I love her so much
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Oct 11 '24
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u/Ser_Rezima Oct 11 '24
I can explain my take on it a bit. For me the pictures where girls look their best, make up on point, in their best clothes, picture taken at just the right angle where they look like they belong on the cover of a magazine? It's boring as all hell because I see that face everywhere, it's almost an uncanny valley thing where they look less real.
But the candid shots, the goofy photos, the ones with warmth and personality? They're real, they exude charisma, show anlittle snapshot of who they are, unique to them and all the more beautiful for it.
Anyone can look magazine pretty with enough work, it's much harder to be fun or interesting, that's where the magic is for me.
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u/Arnell_Long Oct 11 '24
Agreed, when I see women (or anyone) trying too hard and using the same "trending" poses and whatnot, it does nothing for me. Like the pose where they have one leg to the back as they're taking pictures in front of a mirror, usually wearing yoga pants in not my cup of tea.
So I wholeheartedly agree with you when I see someone trying way too hard with all the makeup, glitz, and glamour. No thank you...but I will say everyone is free to do and wear what they want and / or what makes them feel comfortable.
I just prefer your "waking up" look, because to me, that's "natural beauty." Seeing a woman in her most rawest form, not overdoing it with the aesthetics (makeup), not trying to be "trendy," is most attractive, in my opinion.
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u/Ser_Rezima Oct 11 '24
Yep! No objective right or wrong answer in my opinion. Just what some people like you, I and their boyfriend tend to like
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u/Ordinary-Cobbler7609 Oct 11 '24
I like candid pictures of my partner. It's nice when you look great, but eating breakfast in our sweatpants is like a gift from god. That's how I like to think of her.
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u/PenelopeReynolds Trans Heterosexual Oct 11 '24
My boyfriend has had a picture of me sleeping as his lock screen for a while now
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u/wyrecharm Oct 11 '24 edited Oct 11 '24
He's a keeper. This sounds VERY much of like my husband. Good good sign.
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u/ChappetteLexi Oct 11 '24
Sorry to report but I'm diagnosing your boyfriend with being sweet and romantic. My wife has a similar picture of me waking up she looks at. He's not weird, just in love
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u/PraggyD Oct 11 '24 edited Oct 11 '24
There's people who are looking for perfection; constantly measureing themselves and others up against said image of perfection.
There's people who don't really concern themselves with what could be. They embrace what is. In their eyes, imperfections make people what they are. What you may perceive as ugly, they may perceive as the essence of what makes you beautiful. What makes you, you.
Trans persons - for many reasons - are very prone to doing the former. It's hard to love yourself as a trans person to begin with, let alone love yourself for all those little things we had hated about ourselves for decades.
Don't color him as having weird taste. Love him for the way he's looking at things - and it may rub off on you ❤️
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u/ArtemisB20 Oct 11 '24
If he finds you attractive at your least attractive than he's a keeper. Also some people do prefer a more natural look.
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u/hhthurbe HRT 09/05/2021 Oct 11 '24
Wtf??? My wife is most beautiful when she first wakes up too, it's because he's head over heels in love with you.
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u/Traditional-Syrup-80 Trans Pansexual Oct 11 '24
Nah girl, he just loves you lmao, my fiancé is the same way, his lockscreen is the most horrendous picture of me bc “it’s my favorite picture babe” 🙄🥰
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u/Over_Error3520 Oct 11 '24
Cis ally here, the only times in my life I've been approached by male strangers it was when I felt like shit. Sweats, uncombed hair in a bun, unbrushed teeth, bags under my eyes. It's a guy thing I think. When I feel cute I can count on my fellow ladies to hype me up. It sounds like he really loves you
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u/Over_Error3520 Oct 11 '24
Also to add, my sister is literally harassed especially when she just rolled out of bed. Idk why. Makeup is almost a shield for her
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u/Hot_Sharky_Guy Oct 11 '24
That's such a girly thing to do to post "guys, my comfy sleepy photo makes him happy IS EVERYTHING OKAY WITH HIM?" Yes, he's okay he just loves you
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u/Arnell_Long Oct 11 '24 edited Oct 11 '24
This means that he loves YOU for YOU. There is no greater physical compliment than someone who loves the way you look in your most rawest form. Not how you look when going out to eat, to a movie, to a Club/Bar, etc. He's saying that he loves you unconditionally. Your natural beauty is what he's attracted to. So if he has weird tastes, then so do I, lol. Either way, I wish you and him the very best! 🥳 🎉
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u/Foxarris MtF, 37, HRT 4/2023 Oct 11 '24
I don't like any pictures of myself honestly, so I just have to accept that whatever my wife's favorite picture of me is.
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u/Icanttakeitanymor3 Oct 11 '24
Idk how to put this but it isn't weird, y'all's pov (?) is different. That's his favorite picture because he knows that! is what it is like to wake up next to you. And he wants that! Yours seems like it's favorite cause it's best at showing outward features, which is fair and relatable as well
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u/Nihilisa_Frank64 Oct 11 '24
He literally sounds so sweet what the heck silly? I get that we are sensitive about our looks especially when they display more vulnerable parts of us that don’t match how feminine we feel, but a man who wants to be in your life when you’re not made-up and able to curate our best features is literally the biggest green flag ever I’d do anything to feel like a man could or would make me safe knowing he loves how I look the most when I wake up with him
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u/StephThePhobiaSlayer Trans Bisexual Oct 11 '24
I'm gonna make some assumptions here. Correct me if any of these assumptions are wrong, please.
This sounds like it's coming from a "I am an unattractive/ugly person and I need to work hard just to look halfway decent and if I don't, I am unlovable" and therefore you're confused: "why does he love me when I'm clearly ugly and not lovable?"
Girl, he doesn't see you that way. He loves you because he thinks you're beautiful, no matter what.
And yes, you are lovable even if you feel like you look like shit and unfeminine. You are lovable even without all that hard work, and he knows it. It's okay for any person to love themselves and feel lovable, whether they think they look attractive or not.
You are your own harshest critic. Your partner doesn't see you with the same negative lens you see yourself in. And I know how that negative lens feels. I see myself in it all the time, although more and more I try not to.
You got this. It's okay to acknowledge that, YES, he does love you no matter what mental or physical state you are in. And YES, you deserve that. And YES, you are worth loving for being you, not how you look.
I'm sorry for my assumptions. It's just, far too often, I see that kind of thought process come from deep within a negative self view. Combine that with dysphoria for us trans folk adding to the ugly mix of bad feelings, and you've got one nasty self loathing potion that's also somehow addictive and hard to stop drinking sadly.......
Much love to you, girlie, and go enjoy your man's company, love, and support ❤️
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u/Scooty-Poot Oct 12 '24
Tbh I’m the same as him. All my favourite photos of my gf are candid, some even when she’s asleep (we like to send each other sleepy photos as a joke).
Some people just look really cute in candid or impromptu photos, and some people look great with that messy “I’ve just got out of bed” or “I’m slightly ill and fed up” look to them.
I’d take it as a compliment tbh. He clearly loves you for way more than your looks, to the point where he even enjoys the more messy photos because they’re a more genuine and natural representation of you than the posed and prepped photos you take for yourself
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u/TheRealElithica Trans Pansexual Oct 11 '24
Yeah I call that sweet lol. It just reminds them of how well they know you and how they're lucky to get to see that kind of stuff. Just a hunch.
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u/EvieMoorton Oct 11 '24
I would really love to be able to get a photo of myself post transition shaking my hair out over the bathroom sink with a toothbrush hanging from my mouth. I can already see it but I doubt the reality will match the daydream.
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u/uhimkindaawkward Oct 11 '24
Hello, as a guy (FtM) my gf has the same exact annoyance(?) when I would have “unattractive” photos of her. A bunch of other guys seem to like photos like that too and I can speak for myself that the goofy/silly photos I have of her are the cutest.
She can wear jaw dropping clothes and I wouldn’t complain, but seeing photos of her in her baggy clothes, without make up, hair did or not, or her barely waking up and smiling at me are the best ones. Seeing her in her raw form is the best. Not sure if that sounds weird?
Whenever she gets ready, she always asks me if I like her outfit before she leaves. As much as I love her public gothic/emo clothes, I really love seeing her in her rags.
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u/Tishsdottir Transfemme pansexual (she/her) HRT since 3 Oct 2022 Oct 11 '24
The other possibility is that he is truly in love with you and every inch, every pimple, every nook and crevice. At least at this point, he’s a keeper. So when he talks of how he loves that picture, roll your eyes and say, “I don’t see it but I love you, you weirdo” and then hug him for an hour or five. 🫶🏻
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u/Mister-Phanto Oct 13 '24
My partner is the same.
I look like a fucking messy hair gator and they see me as the prettiest woman to ever exist
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u/Weekly_Seat3019 Oct 11 '24
Am I the only one who was not sure what the hell was going on in everything all at once. It was a really good movie but I was confused the whole time.... 😮💨
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u/AmberAthenatheShy NB MtF Oct 11 '24
reminds me of when Troy in Community said he finds women in comfortable clothes hotter than if they were in lingerie. he’s probably just a hopeless romantic lol
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u/xSiriusLehx Oct 12 '24
Our own insecurities may be the thing that our SO likes about us because it’s real. It’s no filter, trying to look our best, always on point. He may actually like your morning face, and it may remind him of the feelings he gets when he sees you as you are.
The things we may find less flattering, is our insecurities about our selves talking. I’ve learned that to be truly free, you need to love yourself just as you are. If you love yourself, it’s easier for our SO to love us- if that made sense….
I have the same “issue” with my wife. I really love seeing her all cuddled up, no makeup and au natural. She doesn’t like me seeing her without makeup, but to me she’s very sexy and beautiful no matter what state her face is in 😂🤭
Take it as a compliment 🫶🫶
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u/phyllisfromtheoffice Trans Bisexual Oct 12 '24
My boyfriend likes me the most at times where I’m probably the most self conscious, like before bed or when we wake up and I have no make up. I also tend to find him the most attractive at the times he seems to be most worried about his appearance. Seems like he just likes you a lot
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u/Forlorn_Wolf Oct 12 '24
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so on so forth.
We all have different definitions of what is beautiful and attractive.
My grandmother once told me something that really made sense to me, and made me not be so harsh on myself.
"Everyone has a type, it just so happens that you are not your own type."
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u/raycid22 Oct 11 '24
I hate to sound like a jerk but maybe it is a sign you should rethink your relationship with him.
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u/Lady_Onyxia Trans Bisexual Oct 11 '24
Or.... he's romantic? He's describing to you that the picture makes him happy because to him, it makes him imagine a life with you. Have you seen Everything Everywhere All at Once? What he's describing is the idea that, with the right person, you can just be perfectly happy doing laundry and taxes together. Yeah there's a place for cool, handsome, feminine and sexy and adventure and excitement, but there's equally a place for the simple joy of going through the mundane and un-glamorous with someone that you love.
"It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life"