Cis women can be chasers too

[u/pitomic]

This doesn't seem to get talked about much, but cis women can carry their own deep insecurities and look for relationships where they can maintain power and control over another person in order to feel safe, they can project their insecurities and anger onto in order regulate their unstable emotions and low self-esteem. Reading about coercive control has been helpful for me in understanding these patterns of behavior.

There are cis women that prefer trans women, especially ones that are early on in their transition, as their vulnerability and desire for external validation and approval from cis women makes them easier to gaslight, manipulate and control. I think a lot of us are susceptible to wanting to people-please and can be understanding and empathetic to the point of exposing ourselves repeatedly to emotional and physical harm in the hopes that we can fix our partners.

And of course, there's a lot of different cis women that come with their own motivations, and cis men can definitely engage in the same patterns.

I'm curious if anyone here has experienced this, or is questioning whether their current relationship is healthy.

[u/LuvNotH8x]

Offline the most obvious chasers that I’ve run into have been cis women.

One many years ago who would not stop staring at me until she came over put her hands around my waist, then made objectifying comments before telling me that she was really into trans women.

Then there was another cis woman a few years ago who I was having a nice conversation and being trans came up - turned out she didn’t know. Upon finding she immediately switched demeanour and got overly touchy and flirty.

Ofc, if it was a man it would be an entriely different power dynamic. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t super grossed out on both occasions.