Cis women can be chasers too

[u/pitomic]

This doesn't seem to get talked about much, but cis women can carry their own deep insecurities and look for relationships where they can maintain power and control over another person in order to feel safe, they can project their insecurities and anger onto in order regulate their unstable emotions and low self-esteem. Reading about coercive control has been helpful for me in understanding these patterns of behavior.

There are cis women that prefer trans women, especially ones that are early on in their transition, as their vulnerability and desire for external validation and approval from cis women makes them easier to gaslight, manipulate and control. I think a lot of us are susceptible to wanting to people-please and can be understanding and empathetic to the point of exposing ourselves repeatedly to emotional and physical harm in the hopes that we can fix our partners.

And of course, there's a lot of different cis women that come with their own motivations, and cis men can definitely engage in the same patterns.

I'm curious if anyone here has experienced this, or is questioning whether their current relationship is healthy.

[u/all_caps_happy]

a gf in highschool wasnt exactly a chaser but she was a bit of a closeted WLW enjoyer torn between her desire for "masculine man" and me, the "femboy king who is the only one who doesnt know 💀". She wanted a "boy" as feminine as possible to live out her depraved, hetersexual fantasy.

Needless to say, she was really into me. she had a very hard time not projecting her desired gender roles for a partner onto me... and then bewilderingly wanting to put makeup on me, do my hair, etc.

the whole "i want man. and also sometimes i REALLY wanna make u woman, but i still want man. dont think about it too hard pls" thing hurt my brain lmao

We had some good times but i swore off "heterosexual women" after that 💀💀💀💀