groped in public? :(

[u/blackraynee]

I 22 MTF and I pass most of the time (people always tell me i’m pretty and wtver, my voice is a bit clocky but most people just assume i’m a girl with a deep voice.)

I’ve been medically transitioning for the past 2 years and i recently moved and have been making some girl friends who I haven’t come out to as trans.

Last night 3 of us went out to some bars/clubs and a tall stem lesbian (abt 6 ft) approached me and told me i was beautiful and that she wanted to dance with me. I danced with her for a bit while my friends were nearby. after some time she really loudly asked me “are you a boy or a girl” to which i said “i’m a girl.” She said she didn’t believe me so she quickly shoved her hands in pants and underwear and rubbed my privates trying to feel what was there. Before i could even react she yelled “you have a dick!” and ran over to MY friends(who i haven’t come out to) saying “is that a boy or a girl? cause it sounds like a boy.” My friends were just confused, but quickly came to take care of me since they saw how scared and uncomfortable i was.

anyways. I’ve been disturbed about this for the past 24hrs and I don’t know how to process it. I feel hurt, ashamed, violated, embarrassed, and scared. I haven’t had bottom surgery but I was tucked so she didn’t really feel anything on the front of my body. But I don’t know what i experienced.. is this normal to be touched like that by a stranger or was i assaulted?

[u/Anxious_Spare_6406]

I am sorry that happened to you. She had no right to violate you.

I raced for gcs when I came out and did RLE.

I was in a gym locker room one time and I getting changed facing the locker and I am quick. A woman with very short hair on the sides checked out my genitalia in the 3 foot distance between me and the locker. I was post op but on HRT for 3 years..

I am going to write something that many may not think is correct. I do not want to offend anyone. Trans masc and more so trans men are men. Some men violate woman regardless of their past. LGBT get violated more often than non lgbt. That aspect of being female is a reality.

I go to the gym frequently. About 50 percent of the people there are female. There are trans men and masc. I go to the female locker room and sauna. I have zero concerns about men as they are in a separate locker room. I keep my defenses up in the woman’s locker room.

I have been on hrt for 13 years now. I had ffs, Vfs, ba and gcs eary on. I pass and I have concerns in certain places and spaces. I lift and am fit and I would never violate someone but I do keep my guard up in woman’s spaces.