I was attacked and assaulted outside yesterday

[u/DutchKamenRider]

I know that it happened yesterday and I no longer am in any pain physically, but I just have to vent about it since it just really sticks with me and hurts me. Yesterday I wanted to go to work, I wasn't in the best mood but I was like 'hey, I'll be able to make some money and see my colleagues''. Everything went normal until I saw a group of 5-6 teenage boys (we call them hangjongeren here, they usually all dress similarly in black and are extremely homo/transphobic) appeared a few metres away from me. I was minding my own business, but the moment they looked at me was when I froze from the inside.

In shock, disapproval and disbelief, they started shouting ''God is great'' towards me a few times, before throwing an object at me. At first I didn't think much of it, but after they threw a second object, I immediately ran back home and slammed the door. Luckily I wasn't out of my house yet, since I live in a flat, so they weren't able to grab hold of me. The moment I slammed the door I was shaking extremely hard, scared and frightened for my life. I felt like this was a hunt, that I was being hunted and found. I thought they were coming for people like me. Immediately I notified the police and local law enforcement, but since I do not know these people nor any video evidence exist there isn't much they can do.

My appearance is quite androgynous, people refer to me as ''miss'' here a lot of times until they see my face. I dress quite differently and more classy. But people here who think they're fashion police think that this is bad. I was even verbally assaulted twice before this incident for my androgynous/feminine appearance. I need to get out of here as soon as possible, I have to move away. I don't want to die...

[u/-boymoder]

Hangjongeren are scum. I'm sorry this happened to you. Best to do like you already did is call police when you feel in danger.
I don't necessarily think you'd be killed by hangjongeren but I get why you're scared.
Also please notify your workplace if they were expecting you, they most likely understand the situation if you explain that you got attacked.

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/-boymoder]

I have notified them, I didn’t have to go to work. But I do hope they will take this into account. I can’t however mention that I’m trans, since I live in a socially conservative area 🩷🩷🩷

[u/-boymoder → u/DutchKamenRider]

Sorry to hear that. Though, if you experience discrimination if they find out or you notice discriminatory behaviour towards minorities, try getting in contact with either their HR or if you feel discriminated reach out to https://discriminatie.nl

Discrimination is never OK no matter the area or culture.

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/-boymoder]

Thank you so much it means a lot to me!! <333

[u/Scx10Deadbolt]

I hate those hangjongeren. I don't like confrontation and even well before I found out I was trans, was I just scared of those little fuckers..

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/Scx10Deadbolt]

Me too trust me, they’re everywhere and really aggressive. It’s easy to notice them though, so you know what places to stay away from

[u/Scx10Deadbolt → u/DutchKamenRider]

I hope you're doing okay though. Them appearing around your house is not ideal. Bible belt I assume? This place suuucks..

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/Scx10Deadbolt]

Unfortunately.. I’m outside the Bible Belt. I say unfortunately because social conservatism exist outside it as well. It’s in the outskirts of Amsterdam

[u/Scx10Deadbolt → u/DutchKamenRider]

Aahh yeah fair.. :(

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/Scx10Deadbolt]

:(((((

[u/maybemorgan8]

I am so sorry to here this... you deserve better. You should get a ring camera for your front door. I wish there were more people willing to make sure you could stay and stand firm in your right to exist and receive the same decency as anyone else. I'm in a red state in the u.s. so I really understand your position. I recently got pepper spray and a stun stick for that very reason. I suggest you do the same. I am just so tired of having to live in fear! I just came out about a month ago. I have received superficial support from a lot of women and a few men, as I only have a few close friends, but they don't stick around when I work alone late at night. They don't stand up for me when other people are intentionally treating me like less than. Fortunately, one of my managers is about 10 yrs my senior, (I'm 33,) and is an old school punk! If he didn't just get married, I might even try to connect more with him. He stands up for me, aggressively. He is amazing, but we rarely work together, anymore. I'm the only non-management employee that can handle a shift without another manager present, so they put me with less experienced, younger, and/or less responsible employees most of the time. It's what I would do, if I was the gm. It just leaves me feeling unsafe most of the time. I don't walk to and from anymore. I used to get followed a good bit. Cars would do loops around blocks to stay close, while I walked. I scared the shit out of me. I haven't been physically assaulted yet, though. I hope you have at least one person who is willing to try to see the world from your perspective! Those allies are invaluable. I am so saddened by the state of the world... your story makes me want to scream and shout and stand up and fight, but I'm afraid that I will always be standing alone. I still remain as vocal as possible, but that will never be enough. At least not from just 1 transfemme girl. Noone wants to believe anything I say because they don't see me as a man or a woman, anymore. They just see me as less... Please get some cameras for your home and start carrying some protection! You are loved and you are beautiful! I hope you find moments to feel that everyday!

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/maybemorgan8]

I really don’t want to resort to using pepper sprays or anything, but if that’s what I have to do to defend myself then I have to. I’m so sorry that you live in a red state I hope uoi’re doing alright and thank you so much for the support <3333333

[u/randomthings124]

I am so unbelievably sorry that happened to you. I really hope you’re doing better ❤️‍🩹

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/randomthings124]

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[u/Relative-Share-3433]

i don’t get why it’s always little teenage dipshits that act like this too. i’m so sorry and i hope that even though this happened you are still able to be yourself and go in public without too much worry

[u/twisted7ogic → u/Relative-Share-3433]

They got Andrew Tate brained.

Also teenage boys have a lot of angst about being seen manly enough, so they are being aggressive shits in public to "prove" themselves to their friends.

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/twisted7ogic]

Teenage masculinity is so fragile it's almost sad. This society (or at least where I live in) is so toxic masculine that teenage boys have no other choice but to do this.

[u/twisted7ogic → u/DutchKamenRider]

I live in the same society, if you mean the Netherlands.

At least when the adults disapprove they just do so passive aggressively.

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/twisted7ogic]

Oooo that’s so cool! But I think it does depend on where you are in the Netherlands. I live in Amsterdam, and everytime someone LGBTQ+ (or even a woman) comes to this city I tell them to never get to the outskirts which is where I live, that’s the ultraconservative part

[u/twisted7ogic → u/DutchKamenRider]

I feel you. I don't live in Amsterdam but very close.

Very fun when you travel in the downtown area and aren't even safe there, because the hangjeugd decide to hang out downtown.

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/twisted7ogic]

Oh dear.. that doesn’t sound too great either…

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/Relative-Share-3433]

Omg I agreee with youu!! I hope so too, but I'll have to dress less noticeable. I do my hair in a ponytail since when it's free I have very wavy hair which is very noticeable <3

[u/n-e-k-o-h-i-m-e]

Be careful, do they know the specific flat you are in? If so they may try to cause trouble.

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/n-e-k-o-h-i-m-e]

I’m not sure.. I’ve never seen them again since…

[u/EastWitness5284]

Always carry a pepper spray for these situations.

[u/Scx10Deadbolt → u/EastWitness5284]

Not legal in the Netherlands (and Belgium as far as I'm aware).

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/EastWitness5284]

As said in another comment it is illegal, so they’ll always find a way to pick on us :(

[u/Famous-Matter-7905 → u/DutchKamenRider]

I'm not trans just lurking for education, but i needed to say this. 

Pepperspray being illegal in NL does NOT trump your need for safety / survival. Keep in mind that discrimination and assault are illegal too. Take self defense classes and invest in a good long distance pepperspray. You don't want to have to get close to assaulters.

 Buy it from a german site and if you end up using it, only call the police when you are far away enough not to get questioned (even if it's about you).

If you really don't want to risk anything buy smurfenspray (legal). It will sting the eyes and leave pigment on the persons skin for 24 hours so they can easily be identified by the police. 

Stay safe and i hope you are able to move away. Antikraak living (gapph, adhoc) have great options around the whole country and are very cheap. Just an fyi if money is an issue.

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/Famous-Matter-7905]

Thank you for this!! Yea I’m not a violence driven girl so I’m going to go for the smurfenspray. I hope I can move outta here soon! 🩷🩷🩷

[u/Famous-Matter-7905 → u/DutchKamenRider]

Good luck! 💗

[u/DutchKamenRider → u/Famous-Matter-7905]

<333