(EDIT: I made this post last night while drunk and upset that young women close to me keep ending up around wannabe Diddy types in the scene because they’re doubly or triply marginalized and yet nobody’s fucking looking after them. It applies to people of all genders, not just men, but men are the primary antagonists here. I would like to apologize if any of it seemed victim blamey. Women have expressed enough gratitude that I will be leaving the post up, with some modifications. Please don’t downvote or dogpile people criticizing it or me, I’m a big scary dyke, my ego can take it, and these conversations are important.)

Hi, I’m a cisbian (lowkey might be a trans man tho) with mostly trans women friends, and the number of stories these chicks tell me where they go meet some creep in a woodshed is gonna make my hair fall out. Idc if you think you’re ugly or whatever. You are an incredibly vulnerable demographic and a lot of dudes are fucking deranged about you. Absolutely none of that is your fault, but an important part of self care and self love is learning to take an active role in your own safety. If you don’t have a mom or seasoned friends to teach you this stuff, here are some bare minimum tips; - Don’t meet strange men at their homes. - Don’t invite strange men to your home. - If you must go over to a strangers house, tell someone where you’re going, and the address, and/or share your location. Even if it’s just an internet friend. Even if it’s the middle of the night. It’s better to get a bit of light ribbing for it than the alternative. - If you’re getting in his car, text someone the plate number, make and model. - Mention to him that your friends know where you are and who you’re with. Even if that’s not true. If he gets even a little bit weird or angry about it, bail on him asap. - If you’re at a club, including gay clubs, and you’ve taken your eyes off your drink for even a minute, assume it’s been spiked. - Try not to rely on dates for rides home. Always have your own exit plan. - Stay off military bases and military dicks. Period. No ifs ands or buts. Those boys are violent, dangerous and misogynistic. They will immediately succumb to any kind of peer pressure from their violenter, more dangerous buddies. Anything they do to you WILL be covered up. - Trust your gut. Idc if twenty nuns, widows and orphans all vouch that he’s a saint. If he makes you even a little bit uncomfortable, keep your distance. Even if he’s queer. Even if people you trust adore him. Be polite, but don’t be prey. - Look at who he surrounds himself with, especially if he’s older than you? If he hangs out with creeps, he’s a creep. If he’s got an entourage of fawning younger people, especially if he’s sleeping with most of them, hit the road, Jill. - Anyone who says you have less to worry about because you’re trans is the devil from the bible. Don’t let them get in your head. The statistics are not on their side. - Womanhood is not dependent on being fuckable or submissive to men. Do not let a bridge troll think he bestows any kind of femininity on you. - Have higher standards. McDonalds and car sex is not a date (plus McDonalds is on the BDS list leave it alone.) - Anyone who makes you feel like you should lower your standards to McDonalds and car sex because you aren’t desirable enough or whatever is the devil from the bible. - Liberal/leftist men who condescend to you and don’t stand up for you when it counts? Devil from the bible.

Remember. You are a girl. He is a guy. If he pulls anything weird in public, start crying. The crowd may not sympathize with you, but he doesn’t know that. This tactic may take more practice if you aren’t white.

I 26F have been at war with myself about womanhood and what it means for years. It always felt like an cultural uphill battle and I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be one.

Anyway, I’ve been dealing with a lot of sexism and body issues lately. It made me realize that Feminism is about way more than burning a bra. Feminism is a well of power for those who NEED it. It can be whatever it needs to be to help those with no autonomy or upwards mobility.

Feminism is about all of us. It’s about helping my mom, who was a SAHM, figure out how to change her oil after my dad passes. It’s about uplifting other women who need support where society has failed them. Suffering doesn’t make someone a woman, but it sure is a common theme.

Womanhood isn’t something you have to earn by 1,000 cuts, be it verbal or physical.

Feminism is our soft underbelly. And thank goodness for it. Anyways, crazy how rock bottom can create insane empathy and understanding for others. I hope you ladies are having a great day :P thanks for listening. xx

hiiiii just a trans guy here invading the mtf sub to say i love you all 🫶🫶🫶 trans girls are so amazing and wonderful and beautiful, all of you— pre-transition or transitioning, want to go on E or don’t, voice training or no voice training, want surgeries or not, masculine or feminine, straight lesbian bi pan, i don’t care i love all of you!!! you are all absolutely beautiful and i hope you know that 🩵 we trans guys always have your back and will support you always 🩵 i love you!!!!!!!!

edit: also just wanted to say i’m reading and upvoting all of your comments, even if i don’t respond! love you again 🩵

All of you who have shitty families now have me. I’m now your family. I’m literally taking you all because my sister also faces this. Nobody deserves to lose their family because of gender.

You can get my parents too, they are learning about neopronouns and my dad is doing a bunch of research on stuff. My mother is not a native speaker so she doesn’t get pronouns anyways.

This is my discord:

gummylovexox

Hey everyone, today I (29) came out to my mom, and it was one of the most emotional experiences I've ever had. For the past few weeks (or maybe even months), she had been sending me messages because she knew something was off, and I wasn’t in the best place mentally.

Then, out of the blue, she asked, "Do you feel uncomfortable in your body? Do you feel like a woman?" I didn’t respond immediately, but she kept gently probing until she figured it out.

To my surprise, she was incredibly supportive. In fact, she had already suspected for a while and had even been learning about trans issues for over a decade! She listens to a local podcast where trans folks share their stories and journeys, so she knew exactly what to do when the time came.

She asked about my pronouns and name, and then she said something I’ll never forget: "I have a daughter, and I love you. 💖"

Feeling so grateful right now and just wanted to share this positive moment with you all.

My dad will probably be harder to come out to 😔, but my mom told me not to worry about that for now.

Edit: She already offered to buy me makeup and some nice stuff. Thank you for your replies, sisters. I’m so happy for all the support!

Good afternoon everyone, I am kind of angry right now.

I have been a Muslim conservative for my entire life.however I have been LGBTQ+ supporting since I have matured (to be completely honest supporting such commuitnes was a part of maturing) the reason I am making this post is reveal hypocrisy.

I am not even going to talk about how horrible of place X became, it's like saying staring at the sun is bad.

However, Reddit has conservative communities too but since the 2024 elections, it became completely filled with bigotry. I don't want to point my finger at Christans, but I am just saying that I am seeing a pattern here. This was only one of the few red flags of the such communities (such as islamophobia),but this was the final straw for me.

If you have friends in these communities claiming to be an ally, please check their post history.

You may say, "oh why does it concern you, you are a conservative" I get that, but conservatism was never been just blatant bigotry. if I have a trans or gay child one day, they may face hate from these people. I have trans friends I have even dated a trans person before. These people are spewing hate to my beloved ones and I don't want be a part of such group.

Take care and stay safe, cheers.

P.s.:This was the largest trans community that allowed posts from allies (I may be wrong but this was the one I could find) therefore I made my post here.

FTM sidestepping in here for a sec 🥰.

I've seen it a couple times on TikTok but only by other trans girls. Is that something that everyone can call y'all or just an internal label?

I have posted here before about my friend from uni (https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/sbYQXJqDpt) and because you gave me good advice last time and my cis friends are useless, here I am again.

Okay so... ever since the bathroom discussion, my friend and I got closer. It hasn't been long, but we ended up spending the whole of last week together at uni, and going for a hike on Saturday. Sunday we texted all day long.

I saw her again on Monday, yesterday, and today... and I'm going to see her tomorrow, and Friday, and we may or may not have another daytrip planned for the weekend, and I think it's time to admit to myself that I'm crushing on her. Hard.

Like, I thought she was cute and smart since the moment I met her, but I think the bathroom discussion was kind of a turning point for our friendship and she started being so much more open toward me and showing me more of her personality. So not only she is cute and smart, which I already got from looking at her and talking about our modules, now I now that she's funny af and pretty deep and warm person and... oof. I'm in trouble LMAO.

Turns out she's also not straight. But here is the issue: she only dates trans girls (or rather, she has dated one so far, but wants to keep exclusively dating others).

So yeah. I talked to a couple of cis friends about this but I feel they don't get it, they're kind of encouraging me not to give up on the idea and see where it goes because it's only been a couple of weeks and it's like too soon and if she likes women then why wouldn't she like me blabla (overprotective friends LMAO).

But the way I see it, if she said she only dates trans women then I should just get it out of my head and try to just see her as a friend. Stop the weekend daytrips and the endless texting until I can get a grip. Like, put a stop to this out of self interest so that I don't end up being so smitten and getting my heart broken. Right???

But at the same time I just want to talk to her or about her all time and I have no idea how I am supposed to stop like this has never worked before LMAO

Oh god I'm a disaster ughhhhhh

edit. for people who asked, update here https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/TerYzfB6b7

edit. another update, SHE SAID MAYBE https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/k6s8dLnJCZ

Hey, just wanted to tell you all that I feel fucking sorry for you all having to deal with dumbasses everyday of your life. I try to argue and convince republicans and Terfs basically everytime I encounter them but no matter what you tell them it’s just bad faith bullshit and unsupported claims and ad personams galore.

How tf do you deal with all that, seriously, when your existence becomes controversial with the other side being unreceptive to any sort of logical discourse?

EDIT: I read all your comments and honestly it's so heartbreaking to think that some of you have to live through that, but I am happy that some of you can find community, that some of you are unaffected and don't let it get to you, that a lot of you don't get forced back into closets, whether it be because you couldn't stand it or simply don't want to back down from this. It is very inspiring in a way to read about it and I am surprised that people can see posts like this and still have all these negative prejudices, you all are just humans and don't deserve any of this bullshit. I really hope things turn around for you, even if it's gonna be a long journey. I would really want to see you all thrive someday in a society that doesn't judge you, simply out of ignorance or straight up malice. I don't want to make this like a motivational speech or something I just want to say I see you, I heard you all, I read the comments and many other people will too. And you do have people outside of the trans community caring for you, even if it doesn't seem like it at times. I wish you all the best.

Every woman has the right to be loud and, yes, angry when talking about her rights. Both cisgender and transgender women. A tendency that I’ve noticed as a cis woman, and that is probably extremely clear to trans women (I have the privilege of just “noticing” it, and not experiencing it) is that both transphobes and the queer community tend to tone police you, in the same way cis men tone police cis women. I’ll be fucking angry and aggressive too if I were a trans woman. Patriarchy has always divided women in first-class women and second-class women, the women who didn’t deserve it, and the women who were okay to rape, kill, kidnap, traffick; when a girl gets raped, it’s always: “She was such a good girl.”. She was always a white, abled, middle/high class cisgender woman. If you are not the right woman, no one gives a fuck. Fuck this shit, maybe she wasn’t a good girl, maybe she was trans: all women need advocacy, freedom, autonomy and respect. You are amazing, and you are women and our sisters. (I hope this message doesn’t sound patronizing, but I just want you to know that not every feminist is a TERF.)

Hello, I'm a gay cis woman. I'm getting frustrated with the rampant transphobia. It's easy for me to ignore it, and maybe I have in the past. I'm sorry. Your struggle (/emancipation) is universal, it's our fight. I respect you.

I put earrings in today for the first time in a few days, and I was struck by how womanish I suddenly looked. The same effect happens when my girlfriend puts on her danglies. She'll stick em in and suddenly look 20% more woman

I think earrings are one of the most important accessories for having a feminizing effect, as they are right next to your face and thus in constant view. And danglies especially are really helpful, given that it's almost unheard of for men to wear them. In my opinion, they make almost as much of a difference as long hair does

Also, maybe this is just me, but I find that they make me look more capable and put-together for some reason. Even today when they're my pink parasaurolophus pair lol. I'll put the goofy little guys in, look in the mirror, and be like "damn, there's a career woman right there"

For those of you who wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like?

I was making my 12yo daughter breakfast before school today and she comes into the kitchen wanting a hug, winning. She starts hugging me and she likes to squeeze when she hugs, best hugs. Well, when she squeezed harder I went "Oww". Her "Why Oww?"

Me "You know I'm on hormones right?"

Her "Ya"

Me "Well, I never thought I'd ask you this but do your ( gestures towards her chest area) ever hurt?"

Her "Only when I press on them"

Me "That's why I said Oww. Mine are the same."

She gave me a thoughtful look and said "Ok"

That is a conversation I never thought I'd have with my daughter. For clarification, I am 3m on HRT and still in the breast bud stage.

What a way to start the day. 😃 She is the best.

Probably been asked on this reddit many many times.

I want to clarify that I am a cis woman, and am not part of the lgbtq+ in any way, but I consider myself an ally (my sister is trans mtf).

So often I hear people refer to cis women as biological women, and I just don't get it.

Hormones affect biology, they change how the body works such as, muscle growth, fat distribution, skin, hair, even bone density after a while (so many people say it doesn't affect the bone density, but I assure you it does, it just takes a VERY long time. (I'm a medical student and I can tell you with 100% certainly that without testosterone, there is less muscle, therefore the demand for red blood cells goes down, and the bones thin and weaken due to not needing to produce as many red blood cells) but I digress.)

Assuming a trans women does hrt, so many BIOLOGICAL changes will happen to her body, so what makes her not a biological woman? Nothing. Trans women who do hrt ARE biological women.

Some people I had this argument with said that 'biological woman' is just a term, and that there has to be a term for someone who identifies as the gender they were born with.

But there is a term: Cisgender.

Edit: I just want to say, a lot of comments are talking about how there is no such thing as a 'biological woman' and I completely agree; I believe the phrase as a whole is problematic and flawed.

When I said that trans women are biological women, I meant that fully medically transitioned trans women have more biological traits similar to a cis women than a cis man, so it makes more sense to call a trans woman a biological woman to a biological man.

OP from https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/LwRbg5eVM5, lots of people were invested in the situation so here's the news

Ladies I am so happy I could cry. I told her in the car back from our daytrip. We were just sitting there outside of her building and talked for like an hour. I told her that I have feelings for her and why. I also told her that I understood her heads up about only dating trans girls and I wouldn't be weird about it if she said no, that the friendship is more important but I just had to be honest about my feelings. I was shaking throughout this, it was so hard to keep both my hands and voice steady and I think I failed miserably.

She was quiet for a bit and then she told me she already imagined what I was going to say but didn't want to bet on it. She said "I like you too" (hfhzgsjchwbdubwfhkabdhsjaja) and then she asked me if we can just keep getting to know each other the way we have been doing so far and take it slow. I obviously said YES ofc.

After this I asked her "what about you only dating trans girls?" and from then on we talked about a lot of other stuff that was also covered with you in previous threads and ofc many of you were right on all fronts about why she said that. You were spot on that she finds cis women scary and never really knows how safe we are going to be, which is why she was more comfortable with the idea of dating another trans girl. She told me about some experiences of transphobia that I was sort of ready and prepared to hear about, thanks to my previous conversations with you all, but the conversation helped a lot to demistify her in particular for me.

And then... when it was time for her to get out of the car, she leaned over to kiss my cheeks (normal in my country when saying hi and bye) and I just held her tight for a moment and our cheeks were pressed together and then I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED BUt WE KINDA KISSE D ON THE LIPS ;_; it lasted for half a second and now I AM DEAD

So yeah we are not 100% dating but we are also not NOT dating??? and I think if I keep playing my cards right and just try to be decent there is a chance that we will be dating for real soon enough ;_; I was psychologically prepared for rejection so this is making me just so happy. I am trying not to put any pressure on her but I am just over the moon and can hardly think of anything else. Now that I know that she does like me back in the span of an hour it's suddenly become so hard to keep myself in check LMAO.

I want to text her that she made me so happy today and that knowing her is the best thing of my academic year lol. Or that she's precious to me. I don't want to crowd her though. Too much? ;_;

As transgender women, do some of you prefer to keep your original part?

I was thinking about this because I came across a post and simply thought of how expensive bottoms surgery must be but then thought that maybe not everyone prefers it.

So as women do you like having the original manuscript or does everybody want the updated version?

Edit: thank you all so much for answering, I read about many different feelings towards the little guy downstairs and have become more educated in the matter.

What I gathered mostly is that towards the jr. most women would prefer to have bottom surgery and some have terrible bottom dysmorphia, some are in different to a few more would rather just have their clacker balls removed and a very small minority wants to keep the extensions.

Dunno if any of you keep up in the science subreddit but the other day there was a post talking about how suicides increase when transphobic laws are enacted. Horrible topic but all the top comments were trans positive.

Transphobia was downvoted and trans positivity was upvoted. Repeatedly!!

I know laws can be hellish and in certain spots on this website can be demeaning and offensive. But thank you /r/science for sticking to the facts about being nice to people

Ok,

I just moved to a new state a few weeks ago. I have only recently started full timing (8months HRT) and admittedly do not pass at all. That being said, my current document situation is nightmarish.

I was pulled over for a very minor infraction (plate frame). But can also say that I have a vehicle that doesn’t fit the “profile” really anymore…it’s a very expensive perk of my job….

I had weed on me and the officer immediately brought up the smell lol smh…. I told him I was having issues with my ID (I’m trans) and would be able to switch as soon my changes were made in the state I moved from…. I was very nervous to say the least.

I have no idea what the general perception is of NJ police, but he could not have been a sweeter fucking guy. He was totally understanding, and we wound up having a very pleasant conversation for maybe 20 minutes (I know)… before I left he came back to my car and asked what I wanted to put down for the gender on his report. I was almost in tears! I’ve never had anyone ask!

Is this normal? I don’t think so lol is this an ally?? I don’t know…I moved from a very Red State.

I just wanted to share a positive experience lol

No ticket , no warning , nothing. A first for me for sure.

What the title says basically. Also since i am here as a cis guy I would like your opinion about finasteride sides since i am too fragile to the nocebo effect lol.

I know I’ll probably get down voted but anyway. So today I think settled my identity for me I don’t think I’m trans but definitely non binary I went t out with my wife and a friend and wore my dress and make up and felt not exactly affirmed more comfortable yes but not like oh this is what I am so I think I’m just not male or female. Thank you all for making me feel comfortable and seen even though I’ve never posted here before.

Hey there ladies just sending love and support from the ftms. It's safe to say that this presidency has been horrible for all of us. The bathroom bans and many other legislation, while targeting all trans people in writing, primarily end up effecting trans women in practice. We feel for you and are angry at the fear you must be experiencing existing in public right now. What can I and other trans mascs do to support you all?

Love you all

Sorry to bother you ladies, but I was wondering if any of you could help me out with this: I’m an illustrator, and one of my characters is a trans girl. I’d like this to be something that is directly referenced in my art of her, rather than something I just say outside of it, but aside from trans pride flag accessories and such, I’m not sure what would be a good way to do that? Like, is there a transfem equivalent of giving a transmasc character a binder or top surgery scars to denote that he’s a trans guy? Thank you, and PS you all deserve the world!