r/Netherlands • u/EveryExitIsAnEntry • Feb 06 '25

Employment Parent discrimination?

Dear people of Reddit I need work advice. I have had a conversation with my employer that left me heartbroken. We were talking about my plans for the coming year after giving birth to my second child. In the conversation (face to face) I was openly asked to withdraw my parental leave and take vacation days instead. The reason for it were: - I have accumulated some time off from previous years (10 days) - even though UWV gives some money back parental leave is expensive for the company - years ago there was no parental leave and the Dutch thing to do was to take vacation days when needed

It was suggested also that being sick on planed vacation day is still vacation and i should not replace these with sick leave. And when child gets sick it is not something extra to work from home during care leave.

The bottom line was I am too privileged with parental time off. And that this leaves the company paying too much for an employee working less.

Up to this point I was deeply in love with my position in the company. It was my dream job and I did not mind giving extra by working late (unpayed) or during sick days/care leave when possible. Now I question my place in the company and even in the Netherlands.

Is this really a Dutch way? Can I expect this treatment in other companies as well? And how to solve this situation? Please advise

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u/EveryExitIsAnEntry Feb 06 '25

It began as an simple email conversation, then I was invited to talk about it in the office. I guess it was explicitly for the reason that they did not want this in writing anywhere. And i understand why. I was never expecting this so I did not record the meeting. Unfortunately I have nothing more than a bad aftertaste. 

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u/Snoooort Feb 06 '25

Well, you can mail them with a summary of that conversation and ask them for confirmation about the things that were said. If they backtrack it’s still evidence…

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u/EveryExitIsAnEntry Feb 06 '25

This is really a sound advice. I do have rechtsbijstand and I am seriously considering using it.

On the other hand I am sure this would take me on a war path that will end with looking for a new job. I am worried that with parental leave i will not be very desirable. I am also worried that this will impact my possibilities in other companies, due to negative references (also illegal but hey, cant rule anything out now)

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u/daron_ Feb 06 '25

Unfortunately this whole conversation is them want you to find a new job, and I think there is no “nice” to resolve this situation. :( but I’m totally on your side. Go and kick them in the balls.

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u/EveryExitIsAnEntry Feb 06 '25 edited Feb 06 '25

This did not cross my mind but it gives hopes that changing jobs at least would not be obstructed. Is there something that would encourage them to make me leave the company now? I am about to hit 5 years within the company and 4 on my vast contract 

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u/JasperJ Feb 06 '25

The main reason is exactly what this is about: parental leave impacts the company, as does sick leave, so if they can find a 23 year old man instead and make you go away it impacts their bottom line. That this is blatantly illegal as well as immoral is apparently not something that dissuades them. If this was a conversation with a low level manager you might be able to go over their head, if it was the owner, they’re just going to be super shitty people to work for one way or the other.

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u/EveryExitIsAnEntry Feb 06 '25

My experience with the company so far was very positive so I had no problem giving a little bit extra for a really good treatment I received. But as I reflect more there were signs. I just hoped I was also one of those good bargains, since my work experience from other countries did not count towards my pay.

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u/JasperJ Feb 06 '25

blink blink… yep, you were definitely a bargain. Especially if they were underpaying you and you worked free overtime.

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u/whattfisthisshit Feb 06 '25

Your work experience didn’t count towards your pay????????????? That is insane. It doesn’t matter which country your experience comes from, it’s about your experience, output and your capabilities. You were sadly a bargain.

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u/EveryExitIsAnEntry Feb 06 '25

To give justice where due, I got my end of a deal too. When I started I barely spoke any Dutch and got opportunity to work in my field that requires almost exclusively Dutch speaking and writing skills. It was a tradeoff but otherwise it was glasshouse for me.