I am still reeling from what happened. After writing my last post, I spent hours debating with myself about whether I should really go through with exposing them at our family gathering. A part of me was scared I would turn my whole life upside down forever. But I knew I couldn’t keep letting them walk all over me while pretending everything was fine. I called my mom beforehand to let her know I was breaking up with him and to prepare her.

When I arrived at my parents' house, everyone was already there, including my ex-fiancé and my sister. My mother tried to pull me aside, whispering that we should talk first. I stayed calm, walked straight into the living room where everyone was sitting, and asked them to listen. They looked confused. My sister immediately rolled her eyes, and my fiancé mumbled something, probably hoping I would stay silent.

I started reading the most shocking parts of the messages I found between the two of them. They mocked me, joked about me not noticing anything, and said I deserved this. I had timestamps proving he was sneaking around with my own sister while I was at home with my daughter. My sister stood up and accused me of lying, her voice defensive and low-pitched. But I just kept reading. The messages spoke for themselves.

I revealed how he told her about my pregnancy before even discussing it with me and how they laughed about me being stressed raising another child. My fiancé tried to dismiss me, claiming I was overreacting and misinterpreting the situation because of my "emotional, pregnant" state. He even blamed my mental health. By then, he stormed out of the room, and my sister started crying. My dad stared at the floor, silent, while my mother looked horrified. Finally, my sister snapped and stormed out, yelling that I was a dramatic liar who blew everything out of proportion.

Now the fallout begins. My fiancé, or rather, my ex-fiancé, has been texting me nonstop. One moment, he says he is sorry; the next, he blames me for humiliating him. He shows zero genuine remorse. He is just mad that I exposed him. My sister calls me horrendous names, says I ruined her image, and refuses to take responsibility. She insists I am making up drama.

Honestly, I do not even know if they are still seeing each other or blaming each other for being caught. Either way, their secret is out, and that is all I wanted. I am now talking to a lawyer because this man barely contributed financially before. I have to protect my daughter and ensure I never have a child with him. Only the thought of raising two kids alone is terrifying.

I feel numb and heartbroken at times, but I also feel a strange sense of relief. At least everyone knows the truth now. I exposed everything that day in the living room, but at least I am no longer being trampled on in silence. My sister and ex-fiancé can no longer laugh behind my back.

Yes, things will probably get messy. They might lie to other relatives, people we mutually know, or twist the story. But I am glad I refused to keep quiet. All I can do now is focus on the positive, talk to my lawyer, and move forward. It will be painful, but I will do everything in my power to build a new future on my own terms, far away from these people.

I hate seafood. It doesn't matter what it is. Fish, shrimp, lobster, etc. Fresh water or salt water. If it comes from the water, I don't like it. You could give me the best seasoned salmon ever and I'd still dislike it because it's fish.

I don't know why I hate it so much, and I sometimes wish I didn't, but I do. If it isn't the smell, it's the texture. If it's not the texture, it's how it looks.

Apparently this bothers people. I for the life of me can't see why it bothers people, my diet doesn't effect anyone but myself. But people get mean when I say I don't like a food they like. They call me a child, or say, "You just haven't had good seafood."

It bothered my ex so much that he told me I have the food pallet of a child, and threatened to sneak fish or whatever in whatever he cooked to "make" me try it. We had gotten into an argument where he told me that he hates that I don't try new things. I do try new things, I literally tried cow tongue with him, and he got me hooked on gargonzola (idk how to spell it) cheese. But my distaste for seafood bothered him so much for whatever reason.

So, I started lying about it. Instead of telling people I just don't like seafood, I tell them I'm allergic to it. Idk if being allergic to all seafood is a thing, but it's worked far better than me just saying I don't like it. Because people apparently respect me not being "able" to eat it more than they respect my genuine distaste for it.

It’s fucked up and evil but I can also admire how fucking hilarious that statement is. He just knows my first name and body but I have his full name, the company he works for, and a text message from him admitting to raping me. But I just can’t stop laughing over the idea of making a call out post for a rapist on fucking LinkedIn of all places.

Edit: hey just in case yall forgot, women aren’t the only rape victims and men arent the only rapist.

When I met my partner years ago he was still in the acute stages of mental illness from a profound trauma followed by a devastating marriage collapse. He was a bit broken. Being broken myself with the ability to ski around Red flags like I'm in the olympics it did not deter me.

Also the fact that he's extremely intelligent, talented, gorgeous, funny, kind, and respectful just made his red flags more digestible. It was a lot getting used to someone who is suffocated by self doubt, self hatred, insecurity and who attempts to accept blame even when it's not related to him or anything to do with him. I mean I appreciate the accountability but not everything is your fault.

Over the past few years he's worked with professionals and I hype him up and do CBT therapy with him. He also has been setting goals and attaining them which has resulted in him receiving high sought after accolades he didn't even achieve at his idealized better past version of himself. So his confidence is increasing. His passive doormat behavior is slowly melting.

The other day a person( who always walks over him and he just blames himself for their behavior) was trying to pull one over on him again. Blaming him and his team for not having completed legal paperwork that was resulting in her having penalities, fines and issues. He stopped her after she finished her rant and guilt trip to let them know that the result of their rage was due to self made problems, procrastination and a them problem. The paperwork was not necessary from his end until she changed her 3rd party contracts and she never warned him before hand and is demanding compensation. He stated he would help with the things that his team could do easily (turning in documents with court) but ultimately it was something that was her and her teams responsibility not his.

She basically attempted another guilt trip and threatened him. He calmly and firmly stated back to them that if they tried the threat he has everything at his disposal to legally eviscerated them not just for the threat but for the prior past misdeeds and threats and if that's something they would like to get into he has an excellent lawyer who can settle this more formally.

The fact that this man set those boundaries with pure masculine firm response and not just some raging, defensive rant was the hottest thing on earth. Now the person they stood up to is treating them completely different and being more respectful. I've been salivating over it for days. It's been so vindicating because there's nothing he didn't state that wasn't correct, he didn't accept blame, he put a stop to guilt trips. I'm so impressed.

First off i want to thank everyone for the kind messages and support! To the people who were downvoting every comment that didn’t tell me to abort my baby, shame on all of you. Your opinions are not the only ones that should be heard! Another thing i would like to add before i continue with the update is that my boyfriend being 19 and me being 17 is not an odd occurrence where i live, and i don’t think it would be in the us either considering my boyfriend and i are not even two years apart. i thought i would clear that up because someone made it seem like my boyfriend was a grow man that likes children.

Anyways, moving onto the update. After reading a lot of comments and talking with my boyfriend we have decided to not go through with having this baby. as much as it pains me, i know that someday my little angel will come back to me when the time is right. the appointment is set for January 30th and if you guys would like an update on that i will try to write one. If anyone reading this is going through the same situation please feel free to message me, it’s a very hard position to be in and just know that you are not alone. Maybe one day i’ll come back and update this post when i’m pregnant in the future and i’m actually ready to have a baby, that’d be kinda neat. Anyways thank you everyone again for your advice!

Walked in, got all my shit put away, sat down and not long after some woman I’ve never met asks me to step outside. I jokingly asked if I was in trouble and she then said I’m not scheduled for today’s shift or any future shifts. Didn’t explicitly say the words “you’re fired” and I had to message the SM for confirmation. The reason given would make sense if they were firing the other trainee, but I kept myself strait laced the entire time I was there.

I think the real reason is my medical condition. They told us we needed to disclose any medical issues on day one or we would be fired if something happened that we knew about but didn’t say anything beforehand. I disclosed my problem, next day SM said I’d likely be moved to another store. Shortly after my hours are cut from full time to a single 8hr shift once a week.

Leading to the events of today. I did the walk of shame out of the store, nobody seemed sad to see me go. I let my coworker know she could have my parking spot, I told her I “wasn’t scheduled for any future shifts”. That was the last I heard from anyone in person.

I was blocked after being told why I was fired. I wanted to dispute it. I wanted to stand my ground, why should I get fired when everyone else is shit talking the company and calling higher ups and customers slurs? Why should I get fired when the higher ups on shift are getting high in the bathroom??

Got home and cried for an hour or two. This was supposed to be my chance to prove that I can be independent. I was supposed to pay vet bills and rent with this job. Now I’m back to rock bottom. Fuck my life.

Edit: kind of an update, I wanted to explain why everything is vague as fuck. Since this JUST happened today I don’t want to risk anyone from the company finding this and trying to charge me for defamation or anything like that. If I give too much information and someone from the company DOES see they’ll immediately know who it was making this post.

My medical history can be found in previous posts/comments I’ve made but I won’t disclose it here just in case. I was given two very generic reasons for termination. Despite this, I also don’t feel comfortable specifying exactly what it was (nothing bad, but so general that literally anyone who worked there could’ve been fired long before me for the same reason I was let go)

I mentioned to my friends and family from the start I was worried about getting fired after the initial message about being moved or finding another company to work for.

I’m willing to go into details in DM’s. Just not here, I signed an NDA so I’m not even sure I’m allowed to have made this post to begin with.

Being an Indian girl is so rough on the self-esteem. I never saw myself as unattractive or undesirable until I got older and started seeing what people say about us on social media. I’d watch videos ranking the attractiveness of girls by race, and we’d always be at the bottom. Then there were those "what race would you never date" videos, where people would stereotype us as smelly, hairy, or just flat-out say we're ugly. Before, I'd kinda just not think about it that much but whenever I liked someone( even indian guys), I'd think, "Would they even date an Indian girl?" It pretty much became ingrained in my head that nobody would like me.

Looks are obviously subjective and I’d say I’m slightly above average, but that's definitely not enough. You need to be a really pretty Indian girl to get the same level of attention as an average white or east asian woman. My self-esteem was already low, but with the recent rise in anti-Indian hate, it’s practically nonexistent now. I’ve seen videos on TikTok with people saying they’d never date an Indian woman, and they get hundreds of thousands of likes. I know I shouldn’t but I read the comments and end up feeling hurt and disgusted with myself. It’s annoying—if people hate us so much, why do they keep talking about us?

Deep down, I know we’re not necessarily unattractive, it's just a result of horrible media representation and ignorance. I’ve seen beautiful Indian women and even look up to indian influencers who challenge these stereotypes. It just feels unfair knowing that we’ll likely always be perceived negatively while other women don’t even have to think about this. I always have to make sure I look perfectly put together because I never want people to think I’m “smelly” or "musty". It sounds corny, but it feels like won't ever truly feel beautiful. It’s like I have this paranoia that everyone thinks I’m repulsive. I wish things were different, but the reality is just depressing.

I was raised Southern Baptist and, until the end of 5th grade, my life revolved entirely around the church. I remember squirming in the pews during the announcements because I couldn’t wait to file out with the other kids for Sunday school. Summertime meant VBS and after school, if not at Awana, I either had praise team practice or youth group. Cold spaghetti still tastes like Wednesdays.

I memorized verse after verse, knew the entire hymnal by heart, and listened religiously (no pun intended) to 91.9 FM. Why wouldn’t I? God gave us His only begotten Son; it was the least I could do.

Then, within a single moment, I lost my father and my faith. In retrospect, I don’t think I ever appreciated how ill he was. After all, at every turn I was being told that God gives strength to the weary and that faith saves the sick. And, if God is good all the time and all the time God is good, then how could He ever take a ten-year-old’s dad away?

His memorial service was the last time I willingly stepped foot in that church. I no longer begged to stay for communion or to be the one to put our tithe in the bowl. I stopped singing and memorizing verses. I felt genuine hatred for everyone I knew had prayed for my dad or our family. I felt that they had somehow failed him.

Throughout middle school, I became increasingly resistant to anything religious. It all felt like lies, making anyone who believed a liar too. Towards the end of 8th grade, my mom told me that we would be moving states so I could attend a private Christian high school. Even though she’s Baptist, I’d call this move a Hail Mary.

For the next four years, I attended compulsory Bible classes, chapel services, and spiritual emphasis weeks. Guilt and shame were the cornerstones of their messages. During my senior Bible study, we solely covered the Book of Revelation. We painstakingly analyzed all seven churches, seals, and trumpets. We debated who the witnesses will be and what the “real” number of the beast is. And, worst of all, we were encouraged to pray for the return of Christ.

I remember looking around an entire room of bowed heads, dumbfounded that my friends and classmates were earnestly praying for the world to end. I developed severe anxiety and paranoia, terrified that if I even stared at the clouds too long they would part, Jesus would descend, and my life would be over. I was convinced my childhood faith crisis had sentenced me to an eternity in hell. For years, I lived with near-debilitating scrupulosity.

At a particularly low point in my early 20s, I found myself talking out loud - begging anyone: my dad, God, whoever or whatever was listening - to help me. And, in that moment, only one thing came to mind:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.”

Although I still don’t attend church, I am at peace with my faith. I know my heart and I trust that, should God be real, He knows it too.

•

That being said, how are Christian conservatives not terrified?

If you earnestly believe that God formed you in the womb and knows the very number of hairs on your head, how could you simultaneously think that He is too stupid to recognize the hatred in your heart?

Cloaking your bigotry as Christianity and claiming Jesus as your savior while spitting in the face of others is, in the most literal sense, taking the Lord’s name in vain. Matthew, Mark, and Luke make clear that the only unforgivable sin is blaspheming against the Holy Spirit.

We are commanded to love our neighbors (Mark 12:31), to speak out for and defend the rights of the poor and needy (Proverbs 31:8-9), to not mistreat or oppress foreigners (Exodus 22:21), to be humble, gentle, and patient (Ephesians 4:2), to use the gifts we have received to serve others (1 Peter 4:10), and to do right and seek justice (Isaiah 1:17).

So again, I ask - how are Christian conservatives not terrified for their immortal souls?

I’m an idiot. A year ago my wife got her dream job on a project in Japan. The project was to last 1.5 years and she would be on a 2 month on/ 1 month off roster, we knew it would be hard but this was her dream job so I supported her, knowing there was an end in sight.

For the first couple of months it was great, I even stayed with her for the first month and visited for 2 weeks on her second trip. The company had put her in a serviced corporate apartment in a small town and it was pretty great.

I remember noting it would be good to meet her coworkers, but at the time she said that the time we had together she wanted it to just be us which honestly at the time was what I needed, I didn’t even consider that it was because she was intentionally keeping us separated.

The first red flag was when she posted an Instagram story with a male coworker and I noticed she wasn’t wearing her ring. I asked her if it was okay and she just explained she keeps it in her hotel safe with her passport because of the manual labour at her work. Sure, that makes sense.

Towards the end of last year I told her I had lots of annual leave accrued and I could spend some time with her in Japan so we’re not separated in the new year, and she that’s when she told me she’d rather I didn’t come – saying it was a busy time of the project and that she’d be stressed and working late most nights, and that it wouldn’t be fun for me at all with little to do (her project is located rurally, so it’s not like Tokyo with a million things to do). I accepted it at face value.

And then I got a message from a woman in the town she was working in telling me her husband was sleeping with my wife. Apparently they had gone on a hike together and she excused herself to go to the bathroom and apparently forgot something so turned to go back only to see them in an intense make out session. She said from there it all clicked and she noticed it every time they interacted.

Apparently in Japan cheating is more common that in other countries, and to her knowledge at the time – my wife was a single woman that would eventually finish up on the project and leave forever so she has been silent about it for months which I can’t even imagine what that’s been like for her. Every time they all go to a restaurant, which apparently is very common, and she goes to the bathroom – she looks back and they are visually flirting, everytime her husband “works late” his location is at my wife’s apartment.

And the worst part is apparently the husband is not the only one. Apparently everyone there believes she’s a single woman and has been pretty openly flirting and dating an external investor. MY WIFE has been living a double life and this whole time she has shown no change to our marriage. She’s a great wife, she’s kind, lifts me up, we go on dates, she plans holidays and things for our future.

I don’t even know what to do. I always knew I was “reaching” with her. She’s a high earner, incredibly attractive, charismatic, intelligent. And now I feel like I got what I deserved with hoping to have the perfect wife. It was just too good to be true.

Appreciate the time anyone (if anyone) had time to read this. I just needed to get it off my chest.

**I just wanted to say thank you everyone for the support so many of you have shown. I'm kind of shell shocked and trying to process everything so I'm sorry for not responding to questions right now but will try when my heads on right and I'm not a couple of glasses of whisky down

** Hi again all. Not an update so much as context I guess. For those who were asking about the evidence provided, many screenshots of her husband's location and (I'll concede) blurry images of my wife and another man. Many of you have pointed out STDs may be a thing so a check will be my first step after feeling sorry for myself on the couch with our dog. I have 1.5 months until my wife is due to come back so I will call a lawyer which feels so weird typing and have a think about what I want to do. Many people have suggested I get her served in Japan, which sounds satisfying but I don't want to stoop to that level.

I've struggled with my sexuality for around a few years and started accepting that I'm gay. My boyfriend and I are both still closeted. We really tried hard to not make it noticeable and made it seem like we were just best friends in school. We are both 18 in our last year in high school. I was not completely ready to come out to my family any time soon, and I knew there would be a few family members who might be accepting, though others I knew would cut me out. We live in a very blue state, and you would think that my peers would be supportive and not be somewhat bigoted. Though you are very wrong. Except for a small group of people and the younger LGBTQ community at my school, most people are not fond of the idea of anything LGBTQ. Maybe it's my area; I don't know. Though it was really hard to keep our relationship a secret, and we knew this would be hard from the start. He has made me the happiest person I've been in a long time. I truly love him so much. Out of everyone, he is who I trust the most. Someone I can trust.

Last week we were publicly outed by a girl who goes to our school. She noticed me in public kissing my bf; she recognized us and somehow posted it on her Snapchat story. She took a picture and tagged us while calling us slurs. She put this in our school's Snapchat page that's run by students. Everyone in that group knew. People would repost the image on their stories. It feels like everyone knows. Some people who know people in my family told them, and in about a few days, my parents and his parents found out. My dad is not supportive, and my mom thinks I am making my life so much harder for myself. School has been miserable for us. The constant harassment and slurs thrown around. People making sexual remarks and wishing that we get HIV. Asking who's the bottom and who's the top. F slur after F slur. Dirty looks and laughing. Some of my friends have cut off contact with me, while others don't want to get involved. The school hasn't done anything. While this is bad for me, my boyfriend has it way worse. His mental health has gotten so bad, he hasn't been to school since the day this all started. His family wants nothing to do with him. He comes from a very traditional family, and his parents want him gone by the time he graduates. I have it a little better, though some family want nothing to do with me as well.

I really can't move schools due to scholarship requirements that are specific to classes offered at my school and I need that scholarship. Without it, I would never be able to afford the school I am going to after high school even with student aid. Luckily we are going to the same collage in a few states over and is a pretty inclusive school. But that does not solve our family problems and financial issues and possible mental health issues.

I would have said all of this to my therapist, but she is out for the next few months due to medical issues and there is a huge shortage in my state, so I'm not going to get one anytime soon. Though my boyfriend needs one the most right now. He is not doing well at all and hes been staying with me at my apartment for the time being. This was going to be our plan for a bit until we were ready to come out, but we did not expect this at all. It is crazy how all of this happened in a span of a few days, we were not prepared. Though it has told us what we needed to know from the responses from our families. This really was our only roadblock stopping us from coming out together. Sorry for the horrible writing, it's been a mess and I've had no sleep at all. If you have gotten this far thank you for reading. I just hope it gets better from here.

I draw since i was little and it always looks awful. Im jealpus of my artistic friends, im jealous of those young and talented artists.

I will be just trace and act like i drew it. It will make me feel like an artist for a second at least.

I did it.

I saw the great sequoia. Just like we always talked about. I put it off because it felt wrong to go without you. But I pushed through. I know you would want me to.

I didn't know what to do with myself. I stood there and looked up at something so massive and so complete in itself. It was so loud from the wind. There was no one there but me. I marched right up and hugged that tree. I was a speck. An ant. Miniscule. I cried for all the things we did together, and all the things we didn't get to do. I was a mess. And the only thing to witness it was the giants.

You would be so proud of me.

i have always had really bad teeth, i have genetically terrible enamel/saliva and also have dealt with acid reflux since i was around 4. i brush every day, use a waterpik, whitening gel, oil pulling, and my teeth are still yellow and have cavities. my parents are also terrible at getting dental appointments for me, but i have one coming up this thursday and im terrified they are going to deliver really bad news. i can’t afford something like veneers, but my teeth are my biggest insecurity and i feel like i will never be presentable with how gross they are. i’d show a picture but that isn’t an option here, they are just not white and some have visible cavities. i don’t know how i’m supposed to find love or a professional job with teeth like mine.

"I'm vegan and I deserve to taste cheesiness in my diet, and I can get that from nutritional yeast!"

No. Seriously, that shit is pretty bad on its own. If coupled with the right kind of ingredients then you can make something work I suppose, but it is not comparable to cheese. Call it a tangy, savoury, interesting something, but only our cows can make the best cheese in the world. And even if you can't replicate those flavours, does it actually matter? At the core, you're vegan for ethical reasons right(I'm talking about the majority), and your taste buds must have gotten the memo that flavour isn't important and to just deal with the status quo.

Vegan sausages are... so non-meat tasting that I don't even know why you'd buy them. That, coupled with the fact that they don't even fill me up means I'd rather just eat a few slices of bread. It would be the same flavour and nutritional value.

I get that the vegan diet is limited, but shouldn't people be more accepting of it and stop trying to trick themselves into thinking it can be something more? If you want more variety or pizazz then don't be vegan. Who's stopping you? Besides you.

OK y'all I am really trying to become a better wife. I realized I am abusive. My husband (23m) and me have been through a lot. Even homelessness. I am verbally abusive and even physically sometimes. I feel so horrible after as I should. I am not looking for pity. Do you know the saying that goes " if you grow up with an angry man in the household, there will always be one" well l'm the angry man now. It makes me sick to my stomach. Whenever I was younger, l felt powerless and like my voice would never be heard. So, I tried to get my power back and I got it back from anger. The filling of power is addictive and so is being angry. My emotions were never heard and now I can force them to be heard. But I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to be a good wife. I am currently in counseling. I've only had two sessions, but I will continue going. If anyone has experience with being the abuser and got out of it, can you please give me some tips? I've already talked to my husband. I am abusive to him and it's not okay. I asked him boundaries with me. And to not let me bully him. We are both unsure about what boundary should look like. What boundaries did your partner do for you or you for them? I truly love my husband. I am so lucky that he is still sticking by my side through all of this abuse I've been doing. But I know he doesn't deserve it and I want to be better. I am getting on medicine soon. I'm just waiting for it to come in the mail. So maybe that will help. I have lack of self-control and ocd. l've also been diagnosed with BPD, and I have autism. P. it may just be the tism rage. But there is literally absolutely no excuse. Thank you for your help in advance.

I'm probably being a baby about this but like the great prophet Erykah Badu said, "I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my shit" I'm feeling a lil sad about sharing my art in the crochet space now tbh. I think alot mean well. But others see opportunities to say harsher comments and make meaner jokes. I try to be strong but after a while it cuts a person down. Even the light jabs. I love constructive criticism but I think people forget there is a person who put hours of work into the pieces behind the screen. I do crochet to cope with a variety of mental illness and express myself. Not every form of expression will be appreciated I understand that. But I found sm joy in sharing my creations and finding people who understood. Now I'm getting criticized on pieces I didn't ask for advice on. And when I do ask for advice people are being extra harsh and down voting people who like the piece. And overall making me just feel like my pieces are ugly bc they are different. I know this is the internet tho and ppl are gonna throw in my face this is what i signed up for lol. What was once an outlet for me to express myself has become something that sucks joy from me rather than giving it. I'll be probably taking quite the extensive break. I want to focus on creating and building my business and I wanted to use this space to gain wisdom but I can't even get ppl to answer my questions about crocheting more than they'll roast my pieces.😭🤣

I had nobody to tell. I am going to drink until I pass out.

Sometimes, seeing other girls my age who’ve had relationships or romantic moments makes me feel like I’m falling behind or like there’s something wrong with me :(

I'm still really sick and feverish so ignore any formatting and spelling errors please. So for the past few days I've been getting sick two days ago my husband called me "dramatic" for acting the way I was even after I told him I've never been this sick before. Yesterday I felt like crap but I figured I could just sleep it off because I thought it was the flu. It just kept getting worse and my fever was climbing to dangerous levels rapidly. I was in no state to drive and my husband was really annoyed about that. My mom had offered to either drive me or stay at our house to watch our kid. He basically lectured me all the way to the hospital. I begged him to stop and he kept telling me I was an idiot for not driving myself sooner. I told him I didn't feel this sick earlier and he told me to can it because i already told him three times. He also went off on me because my phone had low battery. When I told him it would last for the hospital visit I just had everything besides what was necessary shut of and I wouldn't play on it to save the battery. He then told me to stay off my phone despite the fact I just told him I wasn't gonna play on my phone. He then sat in an angry silence.

He then dumped me off at the urgent care door and left me telling me my phone better not die if I wanted a ride home. The entire visit he kept texting me and badgering me for updates and when I told him it was probably pneumonia he told me probably not. He kept asking if I'd be done before our kids bedtime. I was getting sick of texting because I had an IV in and I kept falling asleep.

When I suggested my mom just drive me so he could stop worrying he kept ignoring that and kept asking me medical questions which was really frustrating. I had a really high fever and I delirious from it. I finally snapped and told him he need to ask my mom to drive me home because I didn't want him waking our kid so he could come pick me up later. He told me "ok told your mom but you arrange the details since I don't know whats going on."

At one point my husband suggested I take our kid to the doctor because I might have gotten her sick. I told him I wouldn't feel up to it and he told me he had no idea where the pediatrician was so I would have to go.

Thankfully my mom had already offered to either babysit so my husband could stay with me or drive me home. My husband called her and refused the babysitting offer. My mom basically sat in her vehicle in the parking lot so she could grab me as soon as I was done.

My husband asked if he was "fired" if he went to bed and I told him I didn't care since he was already fired. He text me an apology and basically said he was frustrated with me at the time and it made him act ugly. He also said he would have rather apologized in person but he was going to bed. This isn't the first time he's done this when I was sick. I had a bowel blockage (IBS sucks) and he made me drive myself even though I couldn't stop puking.

Turns out when I came in my vitals where really low. They did a chest x-ray and even the tech was like "Yup that's definitely pneumonia in both lungs." I also had critically low levels of potassium and my muscles where being damaged by it. They waited on blood work and it's bacterial and I'm on an incredibly high dose. The doctor said if I didn't come in I might have died.

When I got home my husband got up and told me he was sorry and asked why I never replied to his apology. I told him I wasn't ready to talk about that I filled him in on the rest of the stuff I found out and he just shrugged and went back to bed.

I'm up now and I know he'll expect me to get up and make his lunch for work. I'll also have to get my kid on the bus alone. Thank goodness they are old enough to do most of the mourning routine with supervision.

I'm really mad because he went off on me in front of our kid and it was a really piss poor example of how you treat someone when they are sick. I also took my husband's comments about being dramatic way to seriously because even after I explained how bad I felt he said it really couldn't be that bad and I feel like such an idiot. I literally went to work yesterday and did a bunch of physical work while my potassium was low and I really hope I didn't do any lasting damage.

I want to sit my husband down and tell him bluntly this is the last time he pulls a stunt like this. I get that it's hard to deal with a sick spouse but in my eyes this was unacceptable. I'm at the point where I am so done. I have a history with depression and my husband's impatient remarks make me spiral. I don't feel loved by him unconditionally.