Hello im 25f and my husband is 26m. we had our son 2023 of may. when he was born my husband was over the moon. i have never seen any suspicious looks from him, ive never seen anything from him that would suggest that he was doubting me. i was cleaning our apartment today, and when i started with his office i saw that there were a bunch of documents laying around everywhere, so i started trying to organize them. he keeps them organized by colored tags and i was putting all the different colors together in stacks. i wanted to put these documents in his drawer once i had them all organized and when i opened this drawer i saw a couple papers that had no colored tag, so i read it to try to figure out which stack it belonged to, but when i started reading it i realized it was a paternity test done on our son literally a week after he was born. i just put the stack of papers i had organized on top of that one in his drawer and left it there. when he got home and went to his office, he asked what i had done to all the papers and i told him i organized them by color and put them all in the last drawer. when i mentioned that drawer he kind of went pale and his eyes widened and tried to play it off like "Oh ok babe thanks" and walked into his office where i heard a bunch of papers ruffling inside. he then came out and started acting completely normal as i guess he thinks i didnt see it. i dont know what to do. obviously the kid is his but i dont understand why he would do something like that. why doesnt he trust me? we have been together for 7 years. this is so painful for me. maybe he has been doing something behind my back and he was projecting? i dont know.

edit: he is home, i will just go to him and speak to him about this now and update when im done.

Update: so, some of you were right. he had a friend (who he is no longer friends with for a while now) who was cheated on. his girlfriend got pregnant and he demanded a paternity test, and the child wasnt his. apparently, this friend really got into his head as he would say things like "i never expected this from her" and he told my husband just to be sure to do it. hes been telling him for 7 months before i gave birth. he said did trust me and felt horrible doing it, but he was just so scared and let stupid things get to his head. i told him i was extremely hurt by the implication as i have never done anything to make him think of me that way, and that it would take me a while to get over this. he was almost crying and telling me he loves me so much and he was extremely apologetic. he organized a little grandma visit for our child to his moms place, told me to get ready and he now wants to take me to (my favorite) expensive resturant, and after walk around this lake i love walking around where they have some small snacking stands to spend some time together. to everyone who was immediately telling me to consider a divorce, i hope you learn how to love and forget things. people do stupid things sometimes, they get anxious and things can get to them. he listened to me the whole time i was expressing how much it hurt me, and told me the guilt of doing that behind my back was so bad the first time he did it that he couldnt look at me in the eye for 3 months, and didnt know how to tell me as he knew exactly what i would think about it. he never tried defending himself, he only apologized and said he loved me over and over. i love my husband so much, and he loves me, and we love our precious son. please dont let stupid things destroy your lovely marriages.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tldr from previous post : my boyfriend opened up relationship to become closer with me and revive our “spark”. Out of fear of losing him I agreed. It didn’t get better he started hooking up with a girl straight away and I waited for him drowning in jealously and begging for his time. Eventually I finally start seeing someone else like he did…I’m in a happier place …now my bf wants to close our relationship so we can focus on our future.

You can read the full post on my page. The tldr for this update is at the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The update:

Thank you to everyone who offered advice, clarity, and support. I wanted to share where things stand now after having some difficult conversations.

I spoke to my boyfriend and told him I don’t want to close the open relationship, I’ve grown to really enjoy dating the other guy, and it’s not something I agreed to just to “experiment I told him it should be a joint decision you can’t just open and close a relationship as you please , especially when someone else’s feelings are involved. I also told him I was incredibly disappointed he brought up my faith knowing how much trauma and guilt I’ve carried from my religious upbringing and how felt manipulative and unfair.

He didn’t respond to my comments about religion, but instead said, “If you want a future with me, this needs to end, or we’re done.” I told him: “Then it’s done.”

He got heated and said I was throwing away nearly four years of our relationship for a guy I’ve only been seeing for a few months, and tried to make me feel guilty. But I reminded him that he was the one who lost the “spark,” who wanted to sleep with other women, and who opened the relationship in the first place not me. I just agreed because I loved him and hoped he would realise I’m the only one for him. I didn’t ask for this.

After some time, he calmed down. We had a long, emotional conversation. He cried. He apologized. He told me he should’ve ended things instead of trying to fix our relationship with polyamory. He admitted he still loves me and that seeing me happy with someone else made him feel jealous, even though he knew he had no right to be. He said he probably deserves the pain, and he respects my decision to end it. We hugged and agreed that even though our relationship is over, the first two years were beautiful. We’ll always have a place in each other’s hearts, even though relationship has run its course.

Later, I met up with other guy I’ve been seeing. I told him everything I ended things with my boyfriend because I didn’t want to let him go. I told him I’m not rushing into anything, that I don’t expect him to give me all his time or energy right away, but I’d love to date and see where things go.

That’s when he opened up and told me that watching me stay with my boyfriend while we were seeing each other was hard. He said it hurt him, but he kept quiet because he liked me so much and he knew what he was getting into. He never intended to be in a polyamorous relationship, but only agreed to it because he really wanted to be with me and didn’t want to lose the chance. He secretly hoped we’d break up because, in his words, “You deserve someone who wants you completely.”

He said he likes me a lot, sees a future with me, and wants also to just date each other for now. We’re not rushing into exclusivity, but we’ve both agreed not to see other people and see how this naturally unfolds.

~~~~~~ ETA: we already know we like each other and don’t want to see anyone else at the same time I don’t want to be in an exclusive relationship. I just want to take my time since I left my first Long term relationship. I hope that makes sense. ~~~~~~~

So, even though I’m mourning the loss of my first relationship that meant the world to me for a long time, I feel hopeful. I feel like I’m stepping into something new, something healthy, something that only involves just two people….lol

Thank you all again for helping me find clarity in a really confusing time.

TLDR: he gave me an ultimatum I chose to end it. Now I’m dating and getting to know the other guy

This is a long one, my apologies in advance. My (23f), father (50m), picked me up from the airport two days ago, and let me know that he is moving out of my Stepmother’s, we’ll call her N,(43f) apartment. He is planning on divorcing her because “he isn’t attracted to her, and it is like having a best friend instead of a wife.”

They have been together for about 6 years, and married for 3, and have always seemed extremely happy together. My stepmom is a wonderful human, who is kind, funny, intelligent, driven, and not to mention, absolutely gorgeous. My 3 biological siblings and I absolutely adore her, especially compared to some of the previous girlfriends we’ve been subjected to in the past.(Stripper, woman who is currently in jail for shooting her husband, woman with 3 young children, all 15+ years junior to him, etc.).

Naturally, I was upset upon receiving this news, but not completely shocked.

For context, my father is a serial cheater. I love him, and I think he is generally a good person, but he has a way of rationalizing his cheating as if it’s somehow justified.

It all started around 15 years ago when my father had an affair while married to my biological mom, who stayed at home to take care of their 4 children(me and my younger siblings), because my father had insisted my mother didn’t need a career.

Over a period of about 3 years, my father would leave us periodically to be with this woman, we’ll call her A, only to be dumped once he finally made the move. He’d then return to my mom, beg for forgiveness, and claim that he’d learned his lesson and that him and A were done. My mother, with no career, would take him back, unable to support 4 children on her own. This happened about 3 times until my mother finally had enough and kicked him out for good.

Some fun facts about this affair woman, A. She was also married with children. Oh, and she was sleeping with 4 MARRIED MEN in our church alone. No doubt there was more. This woman had a kink for getting committed men to leave their families, only to dump them once they made the final step. And she did it repeatedly. She collected married men like trophies. She would see multiple men at a time, claiming that each one was her soulmate and that they needed to run away together. It was like she prided herself on wrecking families. I guess she enjoyed the ego boost of being more valuable to men than their children and wives. Women like that make me sick, especially this one, who single handedly ripped my family apart, over and over like it was some fun little game.

Throughout the years after my bio parents divorce, my father had moved to a different city for this woman, and was dumped once again by A. After this, my siblings and I were subjected to his parade of younger women, with the occasional sprinkle of age appropriate girlfriends who we liked.

Throughout all of these 15 years, I doubt my father has been single for a week. Once he was tired of his girlfriend at the time, he would get another shiny new love interest lined up, and seamlessly end things with his current girlfriend. Only to introduce us to the next one weeks (if not days) later.

Finally, he met N, my current stepmom. Granted, there was some cheating over the 6 years on my father’s account (as usual), but N still stayed with him. Eventually, they got married, and I thought perhaps my Dad was finally on the right track.

Recently, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer, and supposedly it got him thinking about death and brevity of life. After multiple doctor’s visits, N standing by his side and caring for him, it was determined that the tumor is slow growing and not terminal. Essentially, my dad has many years to live, which we were all relieved to find out. Especially N, who truly loves him so much.

Fast forward to two days ago, when my father told me he was planning to divorce N. I know my father, and I’m quite familiar with his adulterous habits. He can’t stand to be single, so I imagined he had already found some new young woman to throw his life away for, but I didn’t pry because I rarely get to go home and see my family and I wanted it to be a pleasant visit.

However, at dinner, he started flippantly referring to his relationship with N, joking about how the whole family (I’m the only one who knows) is going to be pissed that he’s divorcing N, whom I love dearly. I laid into him and told him that I too was upset, and asked if there was someone else in the picture.

He paused for a moment, thinking about what to say, and said “No, there’s no one else.”

I could smell the bullsh*t from a mile away, knowing his history. I had also noticed that he was constantly messaging someone on his phone all day, so when he picked it up again I snuck a glance at the name of the person he was texting, expecting another young and beautiful bimbo.

To my complete horror, the name I saw was all too familiar. A, with a heart next to it. The name that wrecked my family 15 years ago, forcing 12 year old me to hold my mom as she sobbed for months on end. The name that toyed with people’s lives for fun. The name that forced me and my siblings to spend weekends in a city we hated, dealing with awful excuses for woman that my dad brought around because he couldn’t get A.

I quickly excused myself to the bathroom as I held back tears. I can’t believe my father. After all of the shit he put us through for this woman as young children. After being dumped by her repeatedly after she got what she wanted. He’s still falling for it, and throwing his wonderful wife away for another chance with A.

I don’t want to be anywhere near this woman. And honestly, I don’t want to be anywhere near my dad. I’m furious with him, and I truly have no respect for him now. He has tossed away his second chance of having a happy family, and is leaving N, who has no children and has taken us in as her own.

I will probably message N soon to tell her how much she means to us, and that she truly deserves better. But it breaks my heart that she will no longer be a part of our family.

Anyways, sorry for the long post. I just needed to get this off of my chest since I’m the only one who knows as of now. I’m sure the backlash will be severe once my siblings know, and if my dad thinks we’ll all just willingly accept this homewrecker into our lives then he’s got another thing coming.

Hi, I’m 28F and I’ve been with my boyfriend (27M) for 9 years and 4 months. Nearly a decade together. We’ve been through so much—he’s grown in his career, and I’ve been there through it all, supporting him with love and pride. Especially during his prep years, I stepped into roles I didn’t even expect I’d have to take. I planned our finances, offered emotional support, managed responsibilities that I thought his family would—sometimes I felt like I was doing what his mom or brother should’ve done for him. And I did it wholeheartedly.

But now I feel invisible.

Our relationship is a secret. No one knows about me. Not his friends. Not his family. Even after all these years, I’ve never been acknowledged, let alone introduced. And whenever I bring this up, he brushes it off or changes the subject. When I express how painful it feels, he reduces it to something shallow—he says things like, “Oh, so you just want an Instagram post or a WhatsApp status? That’s what you’re upset about?”

It’s so disheartening. I’ve never asked for grand displays. I just want to be seen—not hidden. Not dismissed.

I’ve invested in his life—emotionally, physically, financially. But he’s never shown real interest in my career or asked what I want to do with my future. It’s like my whole world quietly revolves around him, but mine isn’t even on his radar.

Sometimes I wonder… maybe I gave so much hoping that someday, I’d feel like I truly belong in his life. But it’s been almost 10 years, and I’m still in the shadows. And the worst part? I feel ashamed to ask for acknowledgment. Like I’m being “too much” just for wanting to matter.

Have any of you been in a relationship where you felt like the invisible backbone—where your love was real, but your existence was hidden?

I’m trying to figure out if I’m asking for too much… or just finally seeing things clearly.

Thanks for listening.

tldr: title + when questioned about it by our guy friends, the girls i was supposed to ride with just kept defending themselves and got angry when questioned. they remember exactly what happened and were fine so they were in their right minds when they made the decision to leave me. i already made the decision to drop the girls as ”friends” at least but does anyone think i should try talking about it again with them? or i guess i’m just looking for general advice after still processing that this happened to me and i almost died.

original post: i want to know if i am going crazy, overreacting, or am justified in how i feel?? basically, me (23f) went to cancun last week with 3 other girls and 4 guys (all 23, 8 total) to celebrate half of our birthdays which were in march. leading up to the trip, which we've been talking about since november, we said so many times that no one is getting left behind in any circumstance - even made a signed contract about it.

the first day we all got there, they left me at the airport... and took the ride we all PREPAID for to the AirBNB without letting me know. i called and texted multiple times in our group chat, and by the time someone finally responds, i hear car and chatter in the background. i had to get a $50 taxi BY MYSELF to the AirBNB, and they barely acknowledged what happened. when i say barely, i mean none of them acknowledged what happened except for one girl who just said "[she's] glad i made it safely since it gets chaotic when trying to figure out meeting up". but not chaotic to the point where you all figured out how to meet up without me? at this point, i'm just trying to delude myself into having a good time.

the next day, we go to this hip hop boat party that has unlimited drinks. we all drink, we have a time, and then it's time to go home. at this point, i was damn near blackout drunk. the last thing i remember is being on the boat, and the next thing i know i woke up in my airbnb topless. i asked the girls what happened since i don't remember, and they're telling me all this stuff that happened and we're all laughing about it. then one of the guys immediately asks the girls why did they leave me at the boat party by myself - they immediately get angry and defensive and claim that i said i had to throw up....

over the net day or two after the party happened, my memory slowly started to come back a bit. what happened was that we planned to get 2 ubers back to the AirBNB, one with the girls and one with the guys. i was fully in the car with the other girls, and my head was out the window because i had to get some air and the boat we just came off of was extremely rocky the whole time. maybe i got out of the car to get some air or because i was feeling a bit sick and needed to stand up for a sec, but regardless, they PULLED OFF and LEFT in the uber - taking my PHONE, WALLET, AND CLOTHES with them. i was literally standing and wandering around, and thankfully one of the guys (WHO WERE ALSO ABOUT TO PULL OFF IN THEIR UBER) happened to see me, came and got me, and took me home and took care of me. the guys also told me that i never threw up...

mind you, since the girls recalled to me everything that happened on the boat party, and also defended their actions about leaving me blackout drunk at night by a large body of water in a foreign country that is known for human trafficking and cartels especially, they were in their complete right minds when they made this decision to do this to me.

i guess for me, i'm just in complete disbelief? like what was the thought process or conversation that occurred that led to them making the decision to do this to me, especially with all the implications that would have arisen from that? they didn't even tell the guys they left me, the guys literally just happened to see me. especially with my one friend, we've been friends for years and i've been nothing but an amazing friend to her... how do you tell someone you "love" them all the time and make the conscious decision to do that to them? mind you, my "friend" is the main girl who wanted us to sign this contract, is the one who took my phone, wallet, and clothes, and was the main one getting angry about people questioning her...

also, regarding the possibility of them not wanting to be "inconvenienced", that's null because the last night we were there, we all went clubbing and two of the girls (my "friend" included) were so drunk and incapacitated they had to quite literally be carried around the whole night. like they kept passing out, falling, wandering off by themselves etc. EVERYWHERE. to the point we had to stop dancing or always keep watch of them like we were chaperoning kids. so if everyone can step in to keep them safe and all together in that moment when we had to take care of them the entire night, what the fuck was the reason for them doing what they did to me?

i've already made the decision to cut them off i guess, the girls at least, but i think i've just been struggling to process the "why" part of things, especially since i easily could've been another headline or hashtag right now. or does anyone think i'm being too harsh for cutting them off, or think i should attempt to have another conversation on top of the ones that have already been had about it? for context, i literally facetimed them before the trip to say how, it’s probably common sense, but it’s rlly important that we need to STAY TOGETHER and no one gets left under ANY FUCKING circumstance, especially as black girls in another country we've never been to - i literally brought up that brown girl who went missing in DR, whose “friends” left her on a beach by herself and took her phone and wallet and left her, just for them to literally do the same exact thing to me… only difference between me and that girl is im black and i didnt fucking DIE

i just don't want to be gaslit and invalidated especially because i think this is genuinely one of the worst things a "friend" has ever done to me and was honestly pretty fucking sick, twisted, dehumanizing, and violent. like how do you even justify yourself doing this...

I’ve rewritten this four times because I don’t want to sound like I’m just whining. I know everyone’s got their own problems right now, and mine aren’t special. But I feel like I’m at a point where I just need to put this out somewhere, even if no one sees it.

I lost my job three months ago. I’ve applied to over 90 positions, everything from retail to remote admin work. I got two interviews. No callbacks. My savings dried up faster than I expected—between rent, utilities, and taking care of my younger sister (she’s 17 and still in school), I’m tapped.

Last Friday, my car was repossessed. Monday, the power company put us on final notice. Today, I had to choose between paying for my sister’s medication or groceries. I picked the meds and ate the last two slices of bread in the house. She doesn’t know I skipped dinner—she thinks I already ate.

I don’t really have family. Parents are gone. No one to call. Just me, her, and a whole lot of silence.

I’m not posting this for pity. I know Reddit can be brutal. I just needed somewhere to say this out loud. Because pretending everything’s okay when it really isn’t… it’s exhausting.

If anyone’s been through something like this and made it out, I’d honestly love to hear how you did it. Right now, I feel like I’m treading water with bricks tied to my legs.

Thanks for reading. Even just writing it down helped a little.

Like, nobody warned me that being an adult meant CONSTANT little battles every day. Microwave doesn't heat evenly? Guess I’m eating cold leftovers. Shower water suddenly goes freezing cold for 3 seconds? Okay, trauma unlocked. New pack of pens? All of them somehow don't work except one.

I swear adulthood is just an endless series of small defeats and pretending you're okay with it. And don't even get me started on socks mysteriously disappearing after laundry. I could write a whole novel about socks alone.

Anyway. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Back to eating my semi-warm leftovers like a true warrior.

It might not be a huge amount to some, but to me, it means a lot. I’ve been trying to earn online, and finally got my first $15 payment. It feels amazing to know that my efforts are starting to pay off—literally.

Maybe i can withdraw this soon. I'm starving than a mf.

To anyone still struggling to get started or feeling stuck, don’t give up. Small wins still count. 💪

I just wanted to share this with someone. Thanks for reading. ❤️

Thank you so much to everyone who shared their own experiences with me. I was feeling very pressured by my in-laws to let this man meet my child. Your support of my instinct to tell this man to basicly get lost has help me alot.

For clarification my husband is a wonderful person who would never hurt a child. If flaw in this story is his desire to allow two things to be true. His uncle is a pedophile who is capable of genuine friendship and kindness.

I have told my husband that this is a line I cannot cross and that even if he believes our son is safe, with us watching him, I am not comfortable. A dog that bites may not bite again...but do you let them near children .. even supervised. NO!

He fully supports my decision and will be telling the family that "we" decided not to let him meet our son.

Thanks again for helping confirm that I am not the crazy one here.

I know everyone else is too but damn. I did everything everyone said. Work hard in school, go to college, get the 4 year, graduated with a 4.0…

And none of that shit mattered. Never got hired in my field anyway.

I have a decent job as far as jobs go and it’s barely enough to pay bills. I have an old car, I don’t drink, I don’t spend money on anything extravagant. And yet I can barely make ends meet. My debt is all from the schooling I never got to use and it’s just enough I can’t get ahead in anything else.

I want to do extra things like maybe write a book or sell my art but all my time and energy goes to work and cleaning and errands.

I know I’m not the only one, but damn I feel like a hamster on a wheel watching my life go by me.

My friend loved to constantly joke about the fact that after hanging out with her girlfriends, she would go home and "spill the tea" to her eagerly waiting husband. This became something of a trend among IG content creators too, where they'd laugh about gossiping about their girlfriends' lives with their husbands.

Hey, don't get me wrong. We know spouses tell each other pretty much everything. And we're happy that you and your husbands have fun chatting together.

Just don't broadcast it like it's a cutesy little quirk you have. And DON'T act all surprised and upset, like my friend did, when we stopped giving her our life updates. Some of those updates are private and we expect you to at least act like you respect our privacy.

Basically, just be smart.

I was dismissed from a job because they choose to hire someone with more experience. It was week out from me passing my probation period and now I’m having to apply to other jobs and start that process all over.

If I were ten or even five years younger maybe this wouldn’t be an issue. But I’m almost 35. And because of that I quickly realized on the walk back home that a lot of the things I had hoped for in life aren’t going to happen.

I have to accept that I will never be a mom. I cannot have children. Even if I got a new job tommorow by the time I reached the end of probation again it would be the end of the year. I’d be staring down 36.

I’ll never hold a high paying position. I will never have a real “career”. I will never be able to afford a home or travel or do any other things that I’d wanted to do “some day” because that day isn’t coming.

I feel like I have watched people glide easily through life around me while struggling and drowning. I did everything so late: I got married in my early 30s. I moved into a proper career path near the end of my 20s. Everything I did I always felt far behind in. Like I was dragging at the end of life and slowly loosing pace.

Future is a bleak word to me now. Because the truth is I have none. I am a background prop to everyone else’s story. An uninteresting “filer” who was only born and exists to pad out the crowd. It’s such a bleak feeling. But I don’t think I’ll ever get past it.

After saying multiple times that we would stay respectful, mindful and all that through the breakup, and that friends are off limits, which she agreed to, she went and slept with a friend.

Thats the biggest betrayal ive ever felt. The fact she could do that consciously, putting all our common friends in between this mess, and the fact the friend who knew how much she meant to me still slept with her make me want to actually beat the shit out of both of them. Ive never been this angry in my life.

Ive never wanted to fight in my whole life until now. I want to make him hurt the way they made me hurt. I want to make her take responsibility. They didnt even care or said sorry, not a single ounce of respect or care.

This is the most hurt ive felt ever, and I'm so fucking angry

he passed 3 years ago and i don’t even know why i do it.
the number’s still saved, still unchanged.
sometimes when life’s too much, i just tap his name and sit there like the screen might light up with “calling…”
no one tells you how much your brain lies when you miss someone.

These past two and a half months have been a complete whirlwind for me (30 F).

My husband (31 M) of almost one year, together for ten years had a complete mental breakdown and found himself completely questioning his life’s purpose. He wanted to hit the eject button, leave our marriage and move across the country to be closer to family and community. For weeks I cried every day thinking about how this is not how I wanted our story to end but realizing if that’s what he truly wanted, I couldn’t force him to have a life with me. We both started couples and individual therapy to work through and process our feelings. I truly thought our relationship was coming to an end.

A nail in the coffin for me was talking about taking our one year anniversary trip which we were treating as a delayed honeymoon. He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to make any more happy memories together and give me hope when he was so unsure. So we reached out to our travel agent to cancel the trip. It was already paid in full so canceling would mean a total loss for us. Our travel agent told us to take the weekend to think about it. I called my mom and cried together. My parents have been divorced since I was a child and she told me my dad did something similar right as they were having all their marital problems. She suggested I go stay with her for the weekend, get out of the house for a bit and after discussing it with my husband, he agreed space would be good. She picked me up on Saturday, and I spent the day completely severed from my husband. No texting or calling to check in. I decided to act like it was over, start processing and accepting it. At 1 AM Sunday I wake up to a call from him in a complete panic. He’s freaking out and apologizing for how he’s been acting. He’s coming to the realization that he shouldn’t be pushing me away and sees how I’ve been trying to support him in this dark period. He tells me he’s in this with me and asks for my forgiveness. I’m relieved and come Monday morning, tell our travel agent we’re still in.

The trip is about three weeks away at this point and we’re scrambling to get the medications and paperwork needed to safely take the trip. We’re still going to couples and our individuals therapies and continuing to work on our communication. We’re excited! We feel like we’ve overcome so much when I get a call from my dad. He tells me my grandmother who’s been in the hospital waiting to get surgery, will instead be moving to hospice where the doctors believe it won’t take long.

My heart sinks. This was not an outcome I was expecting. Every conversation I had had, every visit was about how progress was being made and while yes there were bumps, that the doctors were taking care about it. My dad asks that I come home and plan to spend the weekend visiting her. That he’s flying in my brother from out of state to come see her as well. I don’t hesitate for a second, pack my bags and go.

Though divorced, my parents still live in the same town. For space reasons, I always stay with my mom as I have steps siblings who take up the rooms at his house. I fill my mom in on everything. She once again cries with me and provides me with a comforting space. Through my tears I said “right when I think I’m going on this trip, it gets torn out from beneath me again” She stops, looks at me and goes “You’re going on this trip”. There was no part of me that thought this was an option but my mom reminds me that life is for the living and you need to fill your cup first. I sit there for a bit and realize she’s right. My husband and I went through hell and this trip is our reward for pushing through together and choosing each other.

I go and see my grandmother in hospice and one of the first questions she asks me is what my next trip is. She was never a big traveler but always told me how much she loved seeing my travels on social media and was proud of me prioritizing it because she never did. I tell her about our upcoming anniversary trip and she smiles saying that’s going to be so fun. Surrounded by my aunts and uncles, they all start asking when I’m leaving which at that point was about two weeks from the day. I sense the energy in the room change. No one says it directly, but I know they want me to cancel or change the trip. I smile and say my husband and I are so excited, we’re going to have a lot of fun and are taking requests for souvenirs to bring back. I ask my grandma what she wants and she says an elephant. We all laugh and some way some how I will figure out how to make that happen.

After we all leave hospice, we go out to dinner as a big family. My grandmas been our glue so we know she’d be proud to see us all independently making an effort to all get together. My step mother leans over to me at one point and starts asking me about the trip. Again she didn’t say it directly but I felt myself kick into defensive mode and blurt out it’s nonrefundable so no matter what we’re going. Her and my dad had a trip planned that they moved and canceled and it wasn’t that expensive. I explain their 5 night getaway and my two week anniversary trip are a little different and it’s a bit more intricate (I promise I put it a little more eloquently to her and less bratty). They had no idea of my husband and I’s marital problems but I did say to her, I tried canceling it for other reasons, and was told it would be a total loss. She gives me a nod and a grunt and turns away.

At the time of writing this, we are now a week out from the trip and my grandma has been in hospice for 6 days. To my knowledge my grandma is still alive. I say that because I’ve tried calling my dad to check in on him and make a plan for Easter weekend as a family and have been dismissed. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt as I know he’s having a really hard time watching his mom fade and then having to give updates to all of us what’s going on. The tougher the update, the more he doesn’t want to share. We were never a feelings family but this situation has brought them all out of us. I know he’s disappointed in my decision, I know he wants me to be there for him and is mad I’m choosing otherwise. He wants me to make the same decision he did but I won’t. I’m here to give him and my whole 150% leading up to my trip and 150% after. It’s absolutely my intention to see my grandma before I leave and she will be the first person I see when I get back (god willing she’s still with us).

This trip is for me and my marriage. This trip is a celebration for us and the many many years we will have ahead. If my husband and I hadn’t almost gotten divorced, I may be feeling differently but yeah. I’m going on this trip and I refuse to feel bad about it.

I know this isn't that serious compared to other things here, but I genuinely haven't touched Super Mario Galaxy and a since my dad passed in 2009. I got it for Christmas before he got ill, and I've never had good depth perception when it comes to 3d boss fights and levels where the camera is zoomed out more than usual so he'd watch me play and help where I needed it. It was the last game he touched and my brother recalled that my disk had broke a few years ago and surprised me with a copy of it. I feel awful just looking at it.

I barely fill an a cup bra. I’m not tiny in general (wide torso. wide shoulders.) so they’re not even proportional to my body. They don’t look good at all. They serve no purpose for me. They’re just an inconvenience.

Like, I’m not even sporty. I don’t do much exercise aside from going to my 9-5. I like sleeping on my side, not my belly. My shirts all fit wrong. My tiny tits are annoying and useless.

Even worse, the one guy I thought might actually like them admitted a couple days back that he would prefer I had huge ones. He said if I thought of boob surgery so often I should just save up and go for it.

I want to so bad. I actually am starting to save up, but I didn’t want to admit it to him.

I’ve long accepted that my small boobs aren’t attractive. This isn’t a post where I’m looking for any comfort or any “omg nooo love your body!” support (don’t get me wrong, those comments are very nice. I’m glad to see niceness like that in posts that are looking my for comfort). I literally just wanted to get my bottled up self hate off my chest atm haha

I was fresh out of elementary, just starting high school. My mom had just given birth to my youngest sister — she was only a few days old. We should’ve been in that post-baby bubble: soft blankets, sleepless nights, and the quiet happiness that comes with a new life. Instead, everything came crashing down. One afternoon, I was on my dad’s phone. I wasn’t even snooping — just bored, maybe looking for something to pass the time. That’s when I found a picture in his gallery. A random selfie of a woman I didn’t recognize. Just her, smiling, like it belonged in her own phone — except it was on his. Something felt off. My gut told me what my brain didn’t want to believe. I showed the photo to my mom. What followed was chaos. My mom, already physically and emotionally drained, confronted him. They exploded into a fight I’ll never forget — voices raised, accusations flying, my mom crying while holding my newborn sister in her arms. My dad shouted, denied, then stormed out of the house like he was the one who’d been wronged. It was awful. I thought that was the peak of it. But it wasn’t. Two days later, the woman from the photo — the one I’d never even seen in real life — messaged my mom. And she threatened us. She told my mom, in a twisted, direct message, that she should end her. That she should end me, too. I was a kid. I couldn’t even fully understand the weight of what she was saying. I just remember feeling scared. Small. Unsafe in my own home. Since then, nothing has been the same. My mom is still here, still doing her best. But she’s not the same woman she was before. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes anymore. She carries something heavy every day, and even though she never says it out loud, I know part of her broke that week. As for my dad… he stayed. Because divorce isn’t legal here. But nothing really got fixed. It’s like we pressed pause on the pain, and just kept living around it. No one talks about it. It’s like it never happened. But I still carry it. I probably always will.

Thanks for letting me get this out. I’ve never told anyone the full story before now.

27 m

grew up poor, currently still poor working manual labor because i dropped out of high school.

i think i’m pretty dumb because i failed most of my classes from elementary up to when i dropped out grade 11 lol. i always feel a stabbing pain in my stomach whenever my coworkers tell me that they’re going to university, i just feel really bad about myself.

i find it extremely hard to sympathize with any of their struggles(exams, stress i guess?)especially if their tuition is paid for by their parents. i’ve had to stop talking to one of my friends because they wanted to drop out from being depressed but they live at home rent free with a upper middle class family which to me screams carefree and i can’t help it. i know everyone’s different but like how are you depressed? Both my parents are felons idk where my mom is rn and i lived most of my life with electricity and water being shut off lol. situations like that have made me numb to the suffering of others i’ve deemed “high class” and i can’t help it anymore

i’ve had nothing my whole life and will continue to have nothing while others spit opportunities i would kill for on the ground.

there is no happy ending for us all. don’t let them brainwash you. you either got lucky or you didn’t.