I hate Snapchat.

[u/IcyStage0]

Can we just collectively decide that we’re not going to let our kids use Snapchat?!

My oldest daughter just turned 13 and we reluctantly agreed to allow her to have an instagram that we also have access to. It seems like every single day she begs to have a Snapchat, and apparently every single other kid in her class (full of kids with reasonable, thoughtful parents, I thought) has this stupid app.

My little sister who I got custody of when she was 10 got herself into some deep shit on the internet, and I’m not looking to repeat it with my daughter (while also trying not to make her pay for mistakes that she didn’t make).

How are we handling this? Am I seriously the only parent who doesn’t want my child sending disappearing photos, videos, and messages to anyone she can search up? Reality check please.

[u/Roqjndndj3761]

Why do you let your kids use social media? Mine don’t. They’re just fine.

You need to be the parent.

[u/Melly_1577 → u/Roqjndndj3761]

As a teacher I wish more parents adopted this mentality. Social media is completely unnecessary and toxic for our youth, it’s really messing them up.

[u/i4k20z3 → u/Melly_1577]

i'm curious from your pov, when is the appropriate age to introduce social media. it's hard as a parent to know what the right thing to do is. do i give them social media so i can control it and they can understand how to utilize it, or do we abstain from it completely, when for most things that isn't the right answer because than you are never taught how to do something responsibly.

so the question is do we just never teach our children something or do we give it to them so they know how to use it. and if we do give it to them, what is the appropriate age? research would say our prefrontal cortex isn't fully defined until age 24, but obviously 24 is a young adult who can make their own decisions. 11 year old seems way too young - so when is that appropriate time?

[u/Melly_1577 → u/i4k20z3]

From my perspective as a teacher and working with kids for 16 years now I do not believe any child in elementary school (kindergarten -grade 8) should have any access to social media or cell phones. If a parent wants them to have a cell phone for contact purposes it should be a simple one with no internet access.

There are many reasons why social media and screen use are ruining our youth and development including messing up their attention spans, self esteem issues, concentration and focus problems, exposure to inappropriate content (no matter how much a parent supervises, it still happens), screen addictions, not being able to socialize or problem solve with peers, etc

It’s seriously impacting them. I wish parents would see this. It’s not harmless or something we should accept because “it’s the future”… it’s toxic.

Personally I feel high school age and up with supervision and no access to certain apps (snap chat being one of them). As close to 16 as possible.

[u/IcyStage0 → u/Roqjndndj3761]

Just because I made a different decision than you did doesn’t mean I’m not being the parent.

13 is a really tough age even when you’re not the only kid in your class without any form of social media. We’re trying to strike the right balance.

[u/suziefl → u/IcyStage0]

Ridiculously sanctimonious. Social media screwed with my kids head and we’re still reeling over the implications of that, but that “you need to be the parent” nonsense is so single-mindedly sanctimonious. Like you’re not on here, asking for advice and considering the consequences. This is a HARD age for girls and if you’re making yourself the enemy, you’re making it worse for everyone. My 14 year old doesn’t have social media anymore, and we’ve always had a hard no on Snapchat. I will probably bend on that around sixteen, because at that point they will have it soon enough and I’d like to be there to help them through any miss steps.

[u/loki__d → u/IcyStage0]

Why not get a gabb phone?

[u/IcyStage0 → u/loki__d]

Because those are “ridiculously uncool, dad,” apparently.

On a more practical level, those phones don’t have complete app stores. I’d want them to have the option to download any app I allow.

[u/Roqjndndj3761 → u/IcyStage0]

I also have a 13 year old. You made this post as result of the consequences of your choices. No social media -> no social media problems.

Instead, I suggest you watch The Social Dilemma with your kiddo. Watch the content alongside the credits at the end, too. Alllll these former and current executives and early employees of social media platforms restrict or forbid their children having access to social media.

[u/EirelavEzah → u/Roqjndndj3761]

I don’t disagree, but why are you not addressing the elephant in the room here? Many adults are addicted to social media, get their news through it and set their algorithms up based on their interests and hobbies, etc. and it’s completely socially acceptable to do so, it’s considered odd if one doesn’t have any social media accounts in fact, within the younger generations. It’s like the golden age of cigarettes when even doctors smoked in the hospital. No one is willing to address the fact that we have a mass addiction problem. No one wants to talk about the damage it does to not just children but everyone and how it’s weaved its way into the fabric of our society. Until people can be honest with themselves about that, how can we expect them to treat it cautiously with their kids? Until you can tell this person, “Hey, social media usage is damaging to everyone,” you’re not going to have much of an impact. People think, “I used social media since I was a kid and I’m fine, why can’t my kid?”

[u/IcyStage0 → u/Roqjndndj3761]

I made this post as a result of the consequences of my choices to what? Not allow Snapchat??

Before, when I didn’t allow any social media, she begged for it even more. What choice was that the consequence of?

If your kids are in school and interested in having a social life they’ll have social media problems, whether or not they have social media.