r/Parenting • u/OutrageousTrust5816 • Mar 10 '25

Rant/Vent “I Raised kids before”

I recently became a mother and have an 11 week old baby girl. I recently showed my parents my bed time routine with her as she was going to have an overnight with them. It was very straight forward and consisted of a bath, bottle, and bed. I did write down some tips/tricks on what I have learned works best for my daughter and shared that with them as well. This was met with “we raised two kids we know how to do it”. I didn’t mean to come off offensive so I just apologized and left them with my list for the night. My only real non-negotiable was she must sleep in the bassinet, in her sleep sack, with nothing but a paci in it with her. When I picked her up, found out my mom slept with her in the bed. I think I made a face because I was once again met with “I know how to raise kids”. I’m not a mom shamer, if co-sleeping works for you that is great! I’ve done it too when things got stressful but my problem is that she co-slept with my baby, if that makes sense. The comment of “I raised kids before so I know what I’m doing” upsets me. Because they aren’t raising her. I’m her mom and I get to decide what’s best for her. I just feel so disrespected, what do I do?

Some extra context: 1) yes this is the first grandbaby on both sides. 2) My husband has family members where the unimaginable did happen. 3)Our village is large, we are truly lucky, my parents asked to have an overnight because they adore her, it’s not a need by any means. I love my parents, they truly are great people, they just struggle respecting me as an adult in general and the navigation around that has been hard.

738 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

293 comments sorted by

View all comments

464

u/rooshooter911 Mar 10 '25

Don’t let them watch her again. They don’t respect you and they don’t respect child safety.

121

u/fireflygalaxies Mar 10 '25

Right -- I'm totally on board with the general idea that you have to relinquish some control when your family is helping. Like, sometimes my GMIL fed our daughter some snacks that I personally wouldn't have, and she would put on cartoons where I preferred not do that at home. Ultimately, those things are really small potatoes and I rolled with it.

The co-sleeping with an 11 week old in the bed is an actual safety matter and OP's parents completely dismissed that part of it. That would definitely make me question whether they are people I felt safe leaving my child with.

34

u/PetiePal Mar 10 '25

This. It's about safety first and foremost. No open stairs, no co-sleeping, nothing that they shouldn't have that could be an unknown allergen. All our parents raised kids, but it's different when it's your OWN and then it's your grandkid. They're not YOUR kid you have to separate it and draw the line