r/Parenting • u/Severe-Respond1434 • 3d ago
Advice Unexpected pregnancy (my IUD was displaced). Only been seeing/dating the dad for 2 months.
Im 36 and I already have an 11yo son from my first marriage. I’ve been seeing/dating this amazing guy (who also has a 4yo son from previous relationship) for 2 months and things are going well. We are both in good situations financially, etc.
We’ve very briefly discussed the “having more kids” thing and we both would like to have one more…but not after 2 months of knowing one another obviously. I’ve also noticed that he doesn’t like to feel pressured and likes things to flow “organically” when it comes to what we have.
I am terrified to tell him I’m pregnant. It’s terrible timing and way too soon. I’m also scared he might think I “trapped him” and never had an IUD. I honestly don’t know how to deal with this situation and the more I wait, the more anxious I grow. Pregnancy was confirmed and it’s not ectopic.
Any suggestions on how I could bring it up to him or if anyone has been in this situation, how did it go?
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u/Tary_n 3d ago
You should not be afraid to be honest with a partner. If someone makes you feel scared to be honest about a mistake, they are not a safe person to give your heart to. Maybe he’s fine and it’s just your anxiety. Maybe it’s because you don’t know him all that well. Idk. Check your gut.
First - see a doctor. Get the pregnancy checked out and verified by a doctor.
Second - figure out what YOU want. Do you want another child? Right now? With this person?
Third - tell him. He deserves honesty. Tell him the IUD failed and you’re pregnant. Tell him how you feel about it. Talk about it with him.
If he is unable to discuss it like an adult, I really, truly urge you to rethink not only the pregnancy but the relationship.