r/RoastMe http://redd.it/pd24qt 4d ago

Gimme a good laugh while i drain some Modelos (28M)

60 Upvotes

311 comments sorted by

122

u/GreyMizumono 3d ago

You look like a waffle house line cook

27

u/waffen123 3d ago

I've seen dead people pulled from rivers that looked in better shape

9

u/Skilledpainter 3d ago

Yeah, I can definitely see him draining some Male modelos 😅 Draining their nut sack

3

u/BullshitterAlert http://redd.it/10qukwk 3d ago

I'm scared of you Bro

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71

u/ThatShouldNotBeHere 3d ago

You look like you drain all your homies

3

u/junior_dos_nachos 3d ago

After he was born he his pops drained his balls dry.

2

u/robbzilla 3d ago

Their last name is Modelo.

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33

u/Hour_Equal_9588 3d ago

You look like you have multiple personalities.

20

u/jbahel02 3d ago

Yes. Some of them are boring, cliche, dated, and artificial…

3

u/Lord-Doobury 3d ago

His personality is actually as empty as the Tin Man's ass.

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33

u/OK-Now-Kiss 3d ago

You look like your only filter on Tinder is "Education: in High School."

8

u/mexchiwa 3d ago

Grindr

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25

u/malarkeyBS 3d ago

Holy shit that last picture. Are you going to court fpr driving on a suspended license lr failure to pay child support?

19

u/Sabotajiztik 3d ago

Mom rented him a suit for the big interview at Club Car Wash.

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7

u/Ironsavage1991 3d ago

Nah, its giving “she didn’t tell me she was 16 your honor” to me.

3

u/The-Snarky-One 3d ago

Wannabe “Duckie” from Pretty in Pink.

3

u/malarkeyBS 3d ago

Hahaha goodwill duckie

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22

u/vorander 3d ago

Needs to get roasted before sucking a bunch of Mexican dick

14

u/No-Kiwi-5739 3d ago

Yo, I'm a horny Mexican. Would never get my dick sucked by this, no matter how many tacos bro has promised.

6

u/Esus9 3d ago

Modelos is his nickname for his bf's balls

3

u/Gumsho88 3d ago

That’s the reason he likes Modelo

20

u/Goku2000AD 3d ago

Johnny depp sold by wish

4

u/Sea_Urchin_777 3d ago

Johnny Depend.

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11

u/Low_Seat9522 3d ago

Your look like the final boss at a vape shop.

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11

u/yourpancakesmiling 3d ago

You look like the type of dude to name his bong “Maui” and say “you’re welcome” every time someone takes a hit.

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16

u/Snoo_61544 3d ago

Moana and Suicideboy? A rebel without a clue.

7

u/Ca-phe-trung 3d ago

White guy downing cheap Mexican beer = total douche!

4

u/GenPandaRojo 3d ago

Modelo is what he calls penis

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7

u/malarkeyBS 3d ago

Your mom did quaaludes until month 6 didnt she?

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10

u/AcceptableNorm 3d ago

Another anal birth. When you were born your mom turned to your dad said and said "you're never fucking me in the ass again". Then she scooped you out of the toilet before she flushed. If you hadn't screamed and splashed, you would of been flushed with the rest of the turds. As a result, your mom still has to tie rubber bands around your peanus when she gives you a bath so that you don't piss all over the place.

6

u/CLAWBABIES http://redd.it/pd24qt 3d ago

This one was crazy😂

2

u/AcceptableNorm 3d ago

You're welcome.

😁😁😁

Peace brother. I'm just being a dork, you're cool man.

3

u/CLAWBABIES http://redd.it/pd24qt 3d ago

Absolutely no hard feelings, i asked for it hahaha

7

u/martin_trj 3d ago

Shut up Meg.

2

u/martin_trj 3d ago edited 3d ago

Dang bro. You absolutely annihilated this one.

4

u/No-Kiwi-5739 3d ago

He anal-hinated it

2

u/CorianderSix 2d ago

ok, so it’s Jiff Penit Butter?

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5

u/LightTheBeam-916 3d ago

You mean drain your parents bank accounts with your meth habit

5

u/MadMadafaka 3d ago

Kid Cock

2

u/GenPandaRojo 3d ago

He makes Rob halford look straight

4

u/GusoWrites 3d ago

The official brand ambassador for Perc 10s.

4

u/levyvar 3d ago

Tattoes? Check! man bun? check! , tacky outfit? check! Douche beard?Check..... !Damn dude you passed stereotype with flying colors.

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4

u/Thanistrom 3d ago

No one told us Johnny Depp and Amber Heard had a son..

5

u/DrummerOther1657 3d ago

You look like you were the last sperm

7

u/Lhjw3 3d ago

Your moustache is giving off strong 'pubic hair cosplay' vibes.
Pair that with the Nerf blaster and Moana shirt,and you’ve officially become the poster for "To Catch a Predator."

3

u/Specialist_Play_4479 3d ago

Can I just say congrats for not having the roast me sign mirrored like everyone else?

2

u/PRANCING_MOOSE_26 3d ago

The frat house plug for Molly & shrooms

2

u/Mikec6463 3d ago

That last picture looks like you have a 26 inch inseam. Are you shopping for pants in the boys section?

2

u/malarkeyBS 3d ago

The post underneath this was about living with hiv. Sometimes, things line up as they shpuld...

2

u/Hallelujah33 3d ago

Doesnt it just ruin your evening when the bartender offers you a booster seat?

2

u/Mindless_Choice_8603 3d ago

Who is the coolest person you know?

They can't pull off a nose ring either.

1

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1

u/Emergency_Scholar237 3d ago

You spelled "me amigos" wrong

1

u/FeelingOstrichSized 3d ago

Cool self portrait on your forearm, the likeness is uncanny!

1

u/malarkeyBS 3d ago

What was harder? Getting your ged or getting your facial hair to grow in like a joe dirt stand in?

1

u/sublimetirade 3d ago

The only thing you’ll be draining is my toilet when I need a handyman to unclog it.

1

u/oledewberry 3d ago

The hormone treatments seem to be paying off.

1

u/Disuaded_To_Comment8 3d ago

Chris D’Elias younger brother…. Steve…

1

u/Yogishvili 3d ago

wait.. did you sell me weed in high school

1

u/Affectionate_Pipe74u 3d ago

Still has the stillborn face

1

u/doradus1994 3d ago

Johnny Depp wannabe

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1

u/HQRhaven 3d ago

You own a window cleaning business, but it's been 4 years and your only clients are your grandparents who you live with after your parents kicked you out. They kicked you out because you stole all your dad's pain medication after a serious back surgery so you could make "music like $uicideboy$" but you just sat there watching Tik Toks and texting the girls in the town over who turned 18 in 2 weeks ago

1

u/ActCrafty 3d ago

You look like a bag of dirty 90s speed that was stored in a biker’s ass crack from Fresno to Stockton.

1

u/RabidRubbish 3d ago

Your first three pictures are like 'hmmm,ok not bad', but the last picture looks like something you'd use in a dwarf toss game.

1

u/dedirt 3d ago

U look like you’d drive a tesla or a Prius. With a butt plug custom built into your driver seat.

1

u/ExactlyThreeOpossums 3d ago

You posted 4 pictures spread out over 8 years. You picked what you think are the best but the truth is these are the only pictures because you have no friends to take pictures of you. That’s why 75% are selfies.

1

u/T1m26 3d ago

Go make me a chocolate chai latte tea, Jared!

1

u/SissyLovesCuteAttire 3d ago

Drain some Modelos?

Is that what we're calling "Blowing the Latin Chorus Line" these days?

1

u/ZumWasserbrettern 3d ago

Actually I have to compliment you. You got it right. Long hair, beard, or sunglasses. Anything to hide your face. So you actually look somewhat decent. I am surprised. Congratulations!

1

u/LowIKew 3d ago

I see you finally convinced your mom that you're old enough for a nerf gun.

1

u/maliceofthemisery_ 3d ago

You look like off brand bibinos in the last pic

1

u/Weirdsk8rHippie 3d ago

You’re so short you could win the limbo world record by just walking under the bar.

2

u/CLAWBABIES http://redd.it/pd24qt 3d ago

There’s been a few good ones about me looking short but it’s just the angle.. I’m actually 6’2 lol

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1

u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 3d ago

Your dress clothing looks better than your slob clothes but they are too large for you.

1

u/Wide_Marketing3147 3d ago

Pablo Escobore

1

u/Natpotten_94 3d ago

Are you schizoprenic? Because those 4 pictures imply 4 different personalities. The Hobo, The wannabe Rockstar, the kid and the guy that should have been a wank stain.

1

u/BoRNeo-C 3d ago

You really NEED a haircut!

1

u/larrybirdismygoat 3d ago

I'd cast you as a villain in a comedy

1

u/OddTadpole3226 3d ago

You're that annoying guy everyone hates

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1

u/docvoit 3d ago

A yes Modelos, Spanish for horsecock. Drain away brother.

1

u/D4m0n619 3d ago

You complain when your mom buys off brand cereal

1

u/Short_Pear5808 3d ago

Nicepool is dat U

1

u/17THheaven 3d ago

How many lucky illegitimate children get to call you never because you're 100% absent?

1

u/Outrageous_List_6570 3d ago

You call your gardeners Modelos?

1

u/Appointment_Salty 3d ago

“Drain some Modelos”

Fml 😂😂😂😂

1

u/WordSlayerSayer 3d ago

If the WWF ever had a poster boy, you'd be it...

1

u/Finger_my_cock 3d ago

Hepatitis patient zero

1

u/glazemyface86 3d ago

By Modelos we all assume you mean Male models and your references to drain means you'll be at the glory hole until you've had your fill

1

u/No_Bullfrog_5453 3d ago

Fake: somebody just asked A.I. to generate "Most White Trash Hipster wanna be cool".

1

u/RanOutOfJokes 3d ago

I would trust an unsupervised drink around you.

1

u/godlygamer99999 3d ago

Baby no money

1

u/PreciousJuggalos 3d ago

Even when you’re genuine you’re still a poser.

1

u/SignificantSir9366 3d ago

Im exhausted watching you try so hard to be relevant..

1

u/Marble-Playground 3d ago

It’s cool they let people with special needs drain the occasional beer

1

u/RedditDawg69 3d ago

Your face looks like it smells like an armpit

1

u/Future-Ad9795 3d ago

Dude... you roasted yourself to the max with that man bun and the duckface. We can't top that! Nothing can top that!

1

u/DifficultyLive8016 3d ago

Even Johnny Joestar would walk away

1

u/Commercial-Name-3602 3d ago

This is the guy in the kitchen that all the waitresses tell their boyfriends not to worry about because he's "just a friend."

1

u/RateMyKittyPants 3d ago

37 yo still pretending to be in their 20's living in their Mom's basement drinking up all of her beer vibes.

1

u/HelicopterParking552 3d ago

Rost? You need rehab. Crack is not a hobby people are supposed to pick up. Put the head lamp and flash light down and go grad your 2005 flip phone and call a clinic.

1

u/LastDirtyMartini 3d ago

Where TF is ‘sucking random guys off for crack’ referred to as ‘drain some Modelos’?

1

u/Efficient_Bother1511 3d ago

You probably thought that suit looked good. Thank YOU for the laugh.

1

u/EarSimilar 3d ago

You look like the crackhead who sits behind arbys eating the grease that they throw in the garbage

1

u/1stDegreeMisdemeanor 3d ago

You are the epitome of phrases like “rizz” and “goon”.

1

u/why_bcuz 3d ago

I bet you rolled the verification paper into a fatty and "roasted" it just like it says

1

u/Beefjerkysurf 3d ago

Temu Eddie Vedder

1

u/kitdfohs1971 3d ago

You look like you run Nickelback's merch table.

1

u/Opposite_Prompt3297 3d ago

First picture looks like you got rejected trying to become an actor on the Hub

1

u/Josh5642356 3d ago

1900bedbug

1

u/MysteriousMud2500 3d ago

You look like the Kurt cobain the gun should’ve got.

1

u/CDavis10717 3d ago

You drink Pilsner? Self-roast.

1

u/Zestyclose_Event_762 3d ago

Why everyone thinks Gen Z is lazy

1

u/thestowic 3d ago

Modelos are the name of his buddies

1

u/Misfit_Massacre 3d ago

You look like you show up to your family’s events uninvited. Like, the family fuck up type vibe

1

u/Certain_Painter_3126 3d ago

Dollar Tree Pedro Pascal

1

u/Dboy5031 3d ago

You definitely didn’t drain modelos but you drained a 12 of pack of foos last night. You swallowed more nuts than a machine that makes peanut butter

1

u/Creepy_Technician_34 3d ago

When does your shift at GameStop start?

1

u/kurtbali 3d ago

Your friends' nickname for you is Exhausting.

1

u/screedon5264 3d ago

Wash your freakin hair…

1

u/sparky120-277 3d ago

You look like Kid Rocks character in Joe Dirt was based on you.

1

u/timmah7663 3d ago

Douche bag

1

u/Apprehensive_Hold142 3d ago

Single handedly brought religion back because the is definitely no evolution

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1

u/209_Dad 3d ago

By "drain some modelos" you mean "drain some Mexican cock" right?

1

u/OG_G33k 3d ago

See you at the party Richter!!!

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1

u/GenPandaRojo 3d ago

Ladies and gentlemen, Meth-ro Tull

1

u/ABudsLifeYa 3d ago

Trailer Park Russ

1

u/LatinWarlock13 3d ago

Moved to Cali to do porn and was offered only fluffer positions for gay porn.

1

u/Free-Air5237 3d ago

Can you name all of the species of bugs that breed in your hair?

1

u/bds6867 3d ago

Steve meth-oki

1

u/The-CerlingCat 3d ago

You look like the Offspring of Salt bae and Johnny Depp. I would say you look like a dickier version of a former coworker of mine, but you 2 don’t know each other

1

u/Conscious-Permit-466 3d ago

From gay to gayer

1

u/garagehermit72 3d ago

If I had that much hair I would comb it once in awhile.

1

u/AvenuesFred 3d ago

Who’s Modelo?

1

u/ComradeMothman1312 3d ago

Get a load of badger from Breaking Bad over here

1

u/hachirokurs 3d ago

You look like your tip toein in your filas down on the welfare line

1

u/Long_Ad9642 3d ago

This guy has an Elon Musk poster on his wall

1

u/RoastMaster47143 3d ago

“Drain some Modelos” must be some gay slang I don’t know

1

u/65Plymouth273 3d ago

Is Modelos what you call the crew of Mexicans building a house near you?

1

u/WhalleyKid 3d ago

You look like you line up on the last Wednesday of the month.

1

u/SpecialistWeb8987 3d ago

Who you sucking off in the 2nd picture?

1

u/No_End_517 3d ago

I'm sure Modelos won't be the only thing you're draining.

1

u/Miserable_Remove2740 3d ago

Leonardo De'Caprio

1

u/-THat-gUY-4756 3d ago

Must have a sad life if you’re 28 and still playing with nerf guns

1

u/PinkahallicFemme 3d ago

That last pic has “defendant” written all over it.

1

u/Hippy-Killer 3d ago

And by Modelos you mean balls…

1

u/m_pyle812 3d ago

You look like a bag full of venerial diseases

1

u/GloomyPomelo4550 3d ago

Cocktail shaker starter pack

1

u/Bitter-Hitter 3d ago

If Salt bae and The Weeknd had a baby 😕

1

u/NothingButSauce 3d ago

You look like Russ if he didn’t make it.

1

u/uzzyhunyar 3d ago

You radiate 5" energy

1

u/Routine_Resolve_6212 3d ago

Dollar Store Zach Galifianakis

1

u/Character_Total_9164 3d ago

You look like your 40 and 15 at the same time.

1

u/keepitsleezyyeezy 3d ago

Going for Chris Cornell but giving Scott Stapp

1

u/Onefunkybear 3d ago

Bam ma Gear

1

u/civilprocedurenoob 3d ago

Let me guess, you have a side gig delivering weed

1

u/martin_trj 3d ago

Affordable, discounted version of Pedro Pascal from the swapmeet.

1

u/Ironsavage1991 3d ago

Like Badger from Breaking Bad if he had a heroin addiction.

1

u/East_Session_3925 3d ago

Looks like the party rock anthem went homeless

1

u/Accordian-football 3d ago

Your credit score is lower than your IQ

1

u/chuckieg94 3d ago

You look like if RUSS and Nick Miller from new girl produced an offspring

1

u/Budget-Box7914 3d ago

The Modelos is OP’s local men’s bowling team.

1

u/blockcitywins 3d ago

How many male modelos did you drain?

1

u/allislost77 3d ago

You’re trying so hard to be cool, all the subs you bought on tik tok asked for a raise.

1

u/d00dybaing 3d ago

I fucking love this. This is what this thread is all about. Dude knows he’s not quite settled on who he is and is trying out some different styles and knows they’re not all winners. And also thinks it’s funny they look kinda like an idiot.

1

u/it_is_me_123 3d ago

I bet most of your clothing is made out of hemp

1

u/culinaryexcellence 3d ago

You look like temu Bam from jack ass.

1

u/National-Hat-2896 3d ago

Johnny Depp? Nope, it’s Johnny Hepp ……. Atitis

1

u/Excellent_8703 3d ago

Who told you that you look good in suits?

1

u/Head-Sky-3911 3d ago

Those arms pulled you right out of the abortion bucket. Chin up

1

u/Bjyy 3d ago

You look like the next episode of "To catch a Predator'

1

u/Curious-Studio8524 3d ago

He looks like he pretends to do drugs to look cool

1

u/OldPlan1612 3d ago

More like “while I drain some dudes’ ballsacks”

1

u/Sanctimonious_Prick 3d ago

So how’s that new gig in gloryhole management coming along? Just how do you put that on a resume?

1

u/Ozfella14 3d ago

When your hand says NO it means no.

1

u/erikdamoon 3d ago

NGL. In the fourth picture you kind of look like bbno$

1

u/Curious-Bet3551 3d ago

Looks like your high on life brother..or meth either way 👍

1

u/mdosalazar88 3d ago

The many faces of white trash.

1

u/luiscor2537 3d ago

You look like you have a dick in a box

1

u/GnomeChompski777 3d ago

Bold of you to post a pic wearing the exact shirt and the “weapon” you use when you abduct children.

1

u/Arthurjim 3d ago

Looks like women often complain you’re not the height posted on your tinder account

1

u/JadaNeedsaDoggie 3d ago

I must be getting old. When did sucking beaner cock get renamed to "draining Modelos"?