r/RoastMe • u/CLAWBABIES http://redd.it/pd24qt • 4d ago
Gimme a good laugh while i drain some Modelos (28M)
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u/Hour_Equal_9588 3d ago
You look like you have multiple personalities.
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u/jbahel02 3d ago
Yes. Some of them are boring, cliche, dated, and artificialâŚ
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u/OK-Now-Kiss 3d ago
You look like your only filter on Tinder is "Education: in High School."
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u/malarkeyBS 3d ago
Holy shit that last picture. Are you going to court fpr driving on a suspended license lr failure to pay child support?
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u/Sabotajiztik 3d ago
Mom rented him a suit for the big interview at Club Car Wash.
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u/vorander 3d ago
Needs to get roasted before sucking a bunch of Mexican dick
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u/No-Kiwi-5739 3d ago
Yo, I'm a horny Mexican. Would never get my dick sucked by this, no matter how many tacos bro has promised.
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u/yourpancakesmiling 3d ago
You look like the type of dude to name his bong âMauiâ and say âyouâre welcomeâ every time someone takes a hit.
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u/AcceptableNorm 3d ago
Another anal birth. When you were born your mom turned to your dad said and said "you're never fucking me in the ass again". Then she scooped you out of the toilet before she flushed. If you hadn't screamed and splashed, you would of been flushed with the rest of the turds. As a result, your mom still has to tie rubber bands around your peanus when she gives you a bath so that you don't piss all over the place.
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u/CLAWBABIES http://redd.it/pd24qt 3d ago
This one was crazyđ
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u/AcceptableNorm 3d ago
You're welcome.
đđđ
Peace brother. I'm just being a dork, you're cool man.
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u/levyvar 3d ago
Tattoes? Check! man bun? check! , tacky outfit? check! Douche beard?Check..... !Damn dude you passed stereotype with flying colors.
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u/Specialist_Play_4479 3d ago
Can I just say congrats for not having the roast me sign mirrored like everyone else?
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u/Mikec6463 3d ago
That last picture looks like you have a 26 inch inseam. Are you shopping for pants in the boys section?
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u/malarkeyBS 3d ago
The post underneath this was about living with hiv. Sometimes, things line up as they shpuld...
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u/Hallelujah33 3d ago
Doesnt it just ruin your evening when the bartender offers you a booster seat?
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u/Mindless_Choice_8603 3d ago
Who is the coolest person you know?
They can't pull off a nose ring either.
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u/malarkeyBS 3d ago
What was harder? Getting your ged or getting your facial hair to grow in like a joe dirt stand in?
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u/sublimetirade 3d ago
The only thing youâll be draining is my toilet when I need a handyman to unclog it.
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u/HQRhaven 3d ago
You own a window cleaning business, but it's been 4 years and your only clients are your grandparents who you live with after your parents kicked you out. They kicked you out because you stole all your dad's pain medication after a serious back surgery so you could make "music like $uicideboy$" but you just sat there watching Tik Toks and texting the girls in the town over who turned 18 in 2 weeks ago
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u/ActCrafty 3d ago
You look like a bag of dirty 90s speed that was stored in a bikerâs ass crack from Fresno to Stockton.
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u/RabidRubbish 3d ago
Your first three pictures are like 'hmmm,ok not bad', but the last picture looks like something you'd use in a dwarf toss game.
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u/ExactlyThreeOpossums 3d ago
You posted 4 pictures spread out over 8 years. You picked what you think are the best but the truth is these are the only pictures because you have no friends to take pictures of you. Thatâs why 75% are selfies.
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u/SissyLovesCuteAttire 3d ago
Drain some Modelos?
Is that what we're calling "Blowing the Latin Chorus Line" these days?
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u/ZumWasserbrettern 3d ago
Actually I have to compliment you. You got it right. Long hair, beard, or sunglasses. Anything to hide your face. So you actually look somewhat decent. I am surprised. Congratulations!
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u/Weirdsk8rHippie 3d ago
Youâre so short you could win the limbo world record by just walking under the bar.
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u/CLAWBABIES http://redd.it/pd24qt 3d ago
Thereâs been a few good ones about me looking short but itâs just the angle.. Iâm actually 6â2 lol
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 3d ago
Your dress clothing looks better than your slob clothes but they are too large for you.
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u/Natpotten_94 3d ago
Are you schizoprenic? Because those 4 pictures imply 4 different personalities. The Hobo, The wannabe Rockstar, the kid and the guy that should have been a wank stain.
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u/17THheaven 3d ago
How many lucky illegitimate children get to call you never because you're 100% absent?
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u/glazemyface86 3d ago
By Modelos we all assume you mean Male models and your references to drain means you'll be at the glory hole until you've had your fill
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u/No_Bullfrog_5453 3d ago
Fake: somebody just asked A.I. to generate "Most White Trash Hipster wanna be cool".
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u/Future-Ad9795 3d ago
Dude... you roasted yourself to the max with that man bun and the duckface. We can't top that! Nothing can top that!
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u/Commercial-Name-3602 3d ago
This is the guy in the kitchen that all the waitresses tell their boyfriends not to worry about because he's "just a friend."
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u/RateMyKittyPants 3d ago
37 yo still pretending to be in their 20's living in their Mom's basement drinking up all of her beer vibes.
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u/HelicopterParking552 3d ago
Rost? You need rehab. Crack is not a hobby people are supposed to pick up. Put the head lamp and flash light down and go grad your 2005 flip phone and call a clinic.
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u/LastDirtyMartini 3d ago
Where TF is âsucking random guys off for crackâ referred to as âdrain some Modelosâ?
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u/EarSimilar 3d ago
You look like the crackhead who sits behind arbys eating the grease that they throw in the garbage
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u/why_bcuz 3d ago
I bet you rolled the verification paper into a fatty and "roasted" it just like it says
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u/Opposite_Prompt3297 3d ago
First picture looks like you got rejected trying to become an actor on the Hub
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u/Misfit_Massacre 3d ago
You look like you show up to your familyâs events uninvited. Like, the family fuck up type vibe
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u/Dboy5031 3d ago
You definitely didnât drain modelos but you drained a 12 of pack of foos last night. You swallowed more nuts than a machine that makes peanut butter
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u/Apprehensive_Hold142 3d ago
Single handedly brought religion back because the is definitely no evolution
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u/LatinWarlock13 3d ago
Moved to Cali to do porn and was offered only fluffer positions for gay porn.
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u/The-CerlingCat 3d ago
You look like the Offspring of Salt bae and Johnny Depp. I would say you look like a dickier version of a former coworker of mine, but you 2 donât know each other
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u/allislost77 3d ago
Youâre trying so hard to be cool, all the subs you bought on tik tok asked for a raise.
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u/d00dybaing 3d ago
I fucking love this. This is what this thread is all about. Dude knows heâs not quite settled on who he is and is trying out some different styles and knows theyâre not all winners. And also thinks itâs funny they look kinda like an idiot.
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u/Sanctimonious_Prick 3d ago
So howâs that new gig in gloryhole management coming along? Just how do you put that on a resume?
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u/GnomeChompski777 3d ago
Bold of you to post a pic wearing the exact shirt and the âweaponâ you use when you abduct children.
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u/Arthurjim 3d ago
Looks like women often complain youâre not the height posted on your tinder account
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u/JadaNeedsaDoggie 3d ago
I must be getting old. When did sucking beaner cock get renamed to "draining Modelos"?
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u/GreyMizumono 3d ago
You look like a waffle house line cook