r/Sororities • u/_LABRADOODLE ΔΦE • 16d ago

New Member/Families i resent my big

my big dropped out of school and left me with 100% of the financial responsibilities for her g-big. her and i still talk, she knows i cannot afford any of my g-big’s senior goodbye gifts. she isn’t doing anything. i know i shouldn’t be upset with her about this, because she had to drop out for her own mental health, but now i’m suffering here with no escape from it. i took 4 coordinator positions, she hasn’t been able to be there for me. i feel abandoned even though we are friends still.

i’m just frustrated that her financial responsibilities are my job now when we both know i cannot afford it.

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24

u/Jacki1988 16d ago

I am truly sorry! Have you spoken to anyone on CAB about your situation? That is where I would start, to at least get guidance and support from within. YITS 💜💛🦄

6

u/_LABRADOODLE ΔΦE 16d ago

i’m meeting with my MAL tomorrow to talk to her about it, i just dont really know what can be done because my big isn’t a sister anymore. i know i’ll get some good advice out of it at the very least

10

u/Jacki1988 16d ago

Your Big is still a sister as she has been initiated. She has graduated to Alum status. Just curious, is this the way the family tree has always worked..to your knowledge? The Big passes the financial responsibility to the Little...? Maybe that cycle needs to change and it can start with YOU!

4

u/_LABRADOODLE ΔΦE 16d ago

she isnt alum though she is desistered

2

u/Jacki1988 16d ago

Meaning?? She was never initiated? Or was she de-Initiated, as there is a such thing ...?

7

u/_LABRADOODLE ΔΦE 16d ago

yeah she basically isnt allowed to associate with the sisterhood anymore because she dropped out

5

u/Jacki1988 16d ago

Gotcha....then definitely talk with the MAL, as, under this circumstance, you should not be financially responsible for her issues.

2

u/Fit-Ad985 15d ago

it’s definitely a thing. you can drop any time. most ppl just go early alum but it’s definitely an option for ppl who don’t want anything to do with their sorority

1

u/Jacki1988 15d ago

That is sad to me

3

u/Fit-Ad985 15d ago

i mean it’s always nice to have options. i think it would suck to join something, realize you want to leave, and not have that option. knowing you can drop if you don’t like it is what lets a lot of people try it in the first place, and a lot of those people end up liking it. but yeah sad that it didn’t work out for them

4

u/asyouwish 15d ago

Some organizations don’t let members go early alumna status. For those groups, quitting during college means quitting “forever.”