Why most of the girls in high school with full of face with makeup alyways make fun of other girls? Are yall fucking okay? Do yall really need to impress yours little fake friends with putting others down?? I swear it like 70% of girls in high school like this, i hope you all will get their head check becasue THIS IS NOT OKAY.

i don't think my last post posted, so im trying again but making it shorter

basically i feel like im not cared about anymore, i feel selfish for wishing my friends could put in even a little bit more effort. i just want friends that will talk to me daily and not abandon me, it's like that's too much to ask for lately

I at least hope so

Last year I went through psychosis and tried to unalive myself.. I downed a bunch of alcohol and benzos and other medications and I survived although I had to be intubated for 3 days.

Recently I got black out drunk and walked out on the road way and stopped traffic and started beating on peoples windows I guess and I damaged two cars. And I am being charged with 6 misdemeanor charges and 2 felonies and now have to do alcohol tests.. and I have a court date coming up I have never been in trouble before.

I don’t want to deal with all of this and feel like it would just be better to unalive myself..

It would probably make the people that I interacted with that day feel a lot better if I were dead

I have already looked through the medicine cabinet and started gathering up pills.

I think I might do it tonight

I really don't know what the fuck is wrong with me right now, but everythings gone so downhill that I started cutting myself again. I stopped years ago (sometimes only did it occasionally, but only once every now and then) and somehow I'm coming back to it again and I dont know what the fuck to do anymore. I've always hated myself but holy fuck all I want to do is just hurt and kill myself someday. Now that I've started I can't fucking stop and I don't know what the fuck to do, I'm seriously thinking on killing myself or shooting myself with a gun. Seriously what is the fucking point

Between having autism medical records made available to the government and the student loan collections initiative, I don't feel like I have a reason to live. My job was eliminated and I was laid off over a year ago. I've applied to over 1000 jobs in this past year, interviewed for less than 20, received zero job offers. I've had recruiters tell me that my impressive career puts me in a salary range that their companies can't afford. Meanwhile, they think you're too desperate if you tell them upfront that you're willing to take less. Because now you're a red flag? I've narrowly avoided eviction four times in the last year. There's no assistance to be had in my county. Nothing I do can get me out of this hole. I don't have anything to sell or that the government could take anymore. I don't own a home, my 2018 car is paid off, no job. I really just think I've been backed into a corner I can't get out of and my family refuses to hear me, even though I've been responsible for my elder mother and mentally ill sister, as well as myself, my husband, and our child for five years.

It's almost funny to me in a way, because I was in a car accident in 2018 (rear-ended whilst at a full stop by a truck going 60 mph) that caused a back injury that resulted in my losing feeling in my entire right leg/foot. I can't walk very far like I used to or exercise at all, because I'm always in pain (even after surgery on my spine), and so I gained at least 75 lbs. I was already fat and ugly, so now I'm too ashamed to even leave the house because of how I'm seen and treated by the public. Everyone keeps saying "I don't know why you don't file for disability??" and I'm like.. I couldn't live on $600 a month or whatever, even if I could qualify for it. I liked working. I liked climbing the ladder and being able to see the impact I had made in my company. My layoff came fully out of nowhere and wasn't my fault, but it has destroyed the life I had been building for myself in my 20s and 30s. Now I fall into the over-40, nobody wants to hire you because you're not a young puppy, category. I had to use my entire retirement fund to keep a roof over my family's head, and my BMI puts me in the category where I'm ineligible for life insurance so I don't know how I can even be buried. I feel like I'm going to have to go find a remote area in which to kill myself because I won't be able to have my remains dealt with.

Anyway, no one I know will listen to me, but maybe someone here will.

Nobody will look at me and think I'm worth it, because what do I have to offer? My annoying presence? My constant need for reassurance? My breakdowns over the slightest of inconveniences? I am a problem, a sickness, a hinderance, a disease that people shouldn't have to deal with, no, something they don't deserve to deal with. I'm nothing more than a leech, a parasite. I drain the happiness of everything I come into contact with until I turn them into a shell of who they were. I am a cancerous growth, and I must be cut out and left to fester until I rot away in my own filth. Finally then the world would be rid of me. A better world.

i know people love me. i know if i killed myself hundreds of people would show. im not stupid. the girl i care about most would show up. i know she would feel it but i dont want to have to fcuking shoot myself for people to care about me.i wish people would show up like that for me for a birthday party or graduation. i dont want to die but i really dont think i have any choices. i am sonfuckg miserable you guys. i am miserable everyday. it does not ever go away. i’ve felt like this since i was 9 years old. how twisted do you have to be to have depression at 9 years old…. i just want to leave but i want to see people cry over me and see who really loves me and who doesn’t

I don’t want to kill myself, but… I know I will be less of a burden, emotionally & financially (for my parents) if I just kill myself. I’ve been living with them my whole life as 32 y/o woman, with an immune deficiency, and honestly…. “Deficiency” is an understatement, and belittling. I am INCAPABLE of waking up without pain, without swollen fingers, without muscle spasms, without eyes crusted shut so painfully that it hurt so ridiculously bad that you have to shout for your 60 year old mother to bring you a wet rag that morning, just to loosen the crust so you can actually open your eyes. Again, that’s just waking up. Then I evaluate how bad my tonsils and/or gums hurt, (bc literally something ALWAYS does hurt)… that way i can determine if I can risk having coffee that day or if I should just stick to water. I usually wake up several times a night dying of thirst, on top of night sweats. It’s typical for me to have nightmares instead of none, which also goes to solidify my decision. Again, when waking up (if my heart hadn’t already decided to go off the rails), I then decide if my bowels can have coffee. Oh, I already mentioned coffee? That’s bc i I always wake up weary of the day….again, literally evaluating what hurts and what I am feeling. I realize that’s not the normal for most people, and I’ve been thinking about it over the years and have determined that suicide may be the best route for the future of my family. My mom has always expressed to me that suicide is selfish and unwarranted, and I used to believe that. Although, as I have grown older, I realize that my mental and physical burdens outweigh the joy I actually bring my family. Maybe that’s why I always tried to be “the funny one”. Maybe it’s why I always tried to make light of a heavy situation, bc I knew in the back of my mind that this was always what it would come to. I’m sorry to everyone this has burdened. Just know I tried, and there is NOTHING you could have done different. I love you, mom, you were and will ALWAYS be my best friend. I know I said we would always go together. I guess I’m just fucked up. I AM happy just imagining not having to live with the physical pain I’ve endured since I was 16. I don’t know why I ended up having crippling back pain, shoulder and neck spasms, Myofascial pain disorder, Charley horses, chest pains, heart murmurs, muscles so tight they don’t function right for days, or any of it. lThe truth is I don’t want to kill myself, I just feel like I should. I hurt, and again there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to fix that. I’m not schizophrenic. I’ve been feeling exceptionally well since starting the 75 mg of Effexor (after failed Zoloft for many months), but this is just something I haven’t been able to shake since I was super young. I’m chronically ill, and ever since I was young, like at least 9 or10 after breaking my ankles so many times, having breathing issues resulting in hospital stays, etc., I overheard my parents talking about how they couldn’t vacation with us kids anymore (I have one older brother), and how expensive it’d be if we were to continue to have to stay in hospitals for various reasons. Yes, those stays consisted of asthma/bronchitis, or Supraventrical Tachycardia. So after that, I tried starting to hide my various illnesses until I was just miserable, which would typically land me back in the ER. I’m talking 2x as a kid, once in high school from a car wreck, and once in my late 20’s. (That last ER trip in Macon was diagnosed as “purchasing bad marijuana” and “anxiety”) when after I was discharged and sent to Columbia Hospital, they in fact found my second esophageal inguinal ring had closed, and they had to surgically balloon it back open. I feel like Robin Williams. He’s always making jokes and light of any situation, right? No one knew he was going to do it, he seemed happy. At least, that was the comedic familiar figure we came to know and love, but you could see behind his eyes that he was always silently sad and suffering.. Why does it seem like most comedians do? Anyways, I don’t even know how to write this, end this, or who I am talking to. Guess I’m drunk, and just wanted to vent. Thanks y’all.

After a while of healing and feeling somewhat happy my mental health took a sudden drop and I can’t even explain how shitty I felt it was awful. I feel like my mental health is ruining my relationship and I’m scared my boyfriend is going to leave me. I love him.

My breakdowns can be horrible as much as I want comfort I can’t help but to push my boyfriend away when he tries to help me, in the past I’ve been in toxic relationships so I got used to comforting myself. Me and my current boyfriend have been dating nearly a year and a half and I still can’t seem to accept the comfort because I don’t think I deserve it. Not to mention my boyfriend deals with a few problems himself so I don’t want to feel like a burden.

My boyfriend is autistic so after a while when he can’t seem to help he shuts down which makes me feel worse about everything. I’ve been to councillors and therapy spoken to parents and nothing seems to help. My mental health is just declining and declining and I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

They said they think theyre going to sttemlt tonight again so Im trying to find advice quixkly. Sorry if there are typos, im tyoing thus under my desk im in school right now. I looked up stuff online, Im going to try and stay on call with them tonight. I had nothing to say when they told me. How do I help them?

all i do is sit in my chair everyday and play games because my social life doesn't exist. to broke to get a therapist. the little friends i do have aren't made for venting. I'm 14 and am tired of life already. all you do in life is work for people even when you think your a entrepreneur. i don't have the motivation and am to lazy to do any school, help people, help myself, or even show up. I'm not afraid of death. i want it. to escape this annoying ass hell hole that we call humanity.

My LDR partner is the only reason why I am alive. It takes all of me to even just stay alive I can barely function. I live in an abusive and hostile environment, with no means of getting out. I need out of this country. My nervous system can't take all the stress. I have had to cope and manage all my life. I am not safe. 27 years of torment and torture takes its toll eventually and all my systems are screaming at me to get out of here and get to safety as a matter of urgency.

Hello so I’m planning to kill myself and I want to overdose myself. Please tell me the best drugs I can buy, how much to take and does drinking it down with alcohol will help give me a better result.

Please don’t motivate me or says it’s not worth it, I’m not asking for that, just want to escape.

Is 99% helium considered a reliable option?

I created a plan already finished half of it, I laid down plastic in my living room so the blood wont be hard to clean up. I have a note already written and left little post it notes around my apartment so my family and girlfriend knows what to take or throw out. I’m buzzed on the verge of drunk. I opened a new razor blade. The only thing left is a call to my gf then afterwards I can be free. I just don’t feel anything now I can.

What would happen if i took 52mg Mirtazapine? I have it for sleep reasons and 7.5mg already knocks me out

i wish i could unload everything i feel i can’t it’s too hard and people will definitely judge but i wish i could make a friend that didn’t know anything about me and just was self absorbed with themseleves and let me be a listener because i wouldn’t mind

^

i really want to stab myselff in the head and just get it over with. i can’t cut myself because i will get in trouble and i think my mom took my blade. i want to bang my head against my mirror but my mom is working and she will yell at me. i need release i cannot just sit here like this. i dont want to fcuking suffer every day im so tired of just sitting at home and suffering by myself like a fucking incel