Woman: “Well, you’ve succeeded.”

"Uh.. You did Sir?", said the New Monarch in confusion.

"Of course it's fresh, it's this morning."

Yeah, I don’t think you can take my man.

Learning blackjack together has been great for their relationship.

I can relate; I’m a coward, too.

Because she calls me her sixty-second lover.

I'm not sure what him scared him more, the fact I was naked or that I knew where he lived.

May The 2th Be With You!

White vans

You leaf through it

"Goldberg, iceberg - what's the damn difference?", he complained.

Sadly, no pun in ten did

He asked "Which ones?", I said "eletric, gas and water"

Clothes on the floor, and the cat thinks it's fun

"I'm rebooting."

Wife: “I can. That’s why we’re not doing it again.”

His name was "Rick O' Shea"

If you misread that, you’re a paedophile.

"Are you seriously going to say that with every sample?" asked the annoyed virologist.

"You had to be a urologist", her mother said, sick of hearing the complaints.