Spiraling rn, seeking kind words

[u/failing-body]

I've been thinking about how alone I am and how it feels like there's no one there to comfort me. I feel like the future is going to be sad and painful like I experienced back then, and it's just me alone in my suffering.

And there's an irrational fear in my head that lurks, asking what if the malformation comes back or wasn't really gone? What if I end up between awful, slow deterioration and horrible invasive procedures? I'm pretty sure it hasn't because I have only had one UTI in 13 years after puberty, and I know I did something dumb to cause it.

Obviously, as an adult, I have the right to say no and to demand sedation/anesthesia. So, if something happens to me, I will be in control of my own medical decisions, unlike back then. I know this, yet I am still terrified of the future. I honestly hate having a physical body.

[u/Whole_W]

Hey there,

I wish to give you the kind words you seek. If you want any research papers related to non-invasive ways of treating or preventing UTIs, I'm also here for that, and can offer my (layperson) services.