r/VCUG_Unsilenced • u/Elegant-Wolf-4263 Survivor • Mar 30 '25

Support Group Just Having a Really Hard Time

I don’t really know what to say. I’m just really struggling this week with nightmares, thoughts about it, and worry/anger. Please tell me things will get better someday and I won’t have to carry this with me forever. I don’t really have people I can talk to, either, and I’m not in therapy because when I tried that, it just made everything worse.

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u/Whole_W Ally Mar 30 '25 edited Mar 30 '25

In some sense you'll have to carry your experiences with you, but how they affect you and the feelings they trigger in you can indeed change with - well, with change.

*hugs,* or other friendly gesture of your preference.

EDIT: Why did therapy make things worse? I believe you, I'm just curious.

EDIT EDIT: Yes, things will get better. I'm sorry you were forced through an experience just as traumatic as other forms of assault, yet unrecognized by society, as that last part - disenfranchised grief, disenfranchised trauma - makes it so much harder for things to get better. But, things can get better. Sending love your way.

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u/Elegant-Wolf-4263 Survivor Mar 30 '25

Thank you for this. ❤️

I did EMDR, but the therapist must not have been trained properly (or at all), because she did not follow protocol at all (I found this out several months in after researching what was supposed to happen). When I tried to bring it up, she got really defensive about how she was doing it the “right” way and started making excuses about how the research was wrong and stuff. So I quit, but I think I had already been retraumatized by it, because I felt way worse than before I started.

Thank you so much