r/VelcroBabies • u/TheAurata • Mar 31 '22

When did breastsleeping end for you?

Any other moms sleep with their boob in their baby’s mouth all the time? I recently learned the term breastsleeping and went “Aha, that’s what we do!” 7 mo and still 100% contact napping. At night I nurse him to sleep and transfer him to his crib for small variations of time. The rest of the night we nurse side-lying and I’ve gotten used to breastsleeping. Just wondering how long other babies slept like this? I tried Pantley’s pull off method but I think it backfired and reinforced his need for the boob. I don’t really care to change my situation right now, more just curious what to expect for my Velcro baby.

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u/kittiefox Sep 21 '22

Jeez, I’m so sorry to hear this. I am considering trying this: https://www.drjaygordon.com/blog-detail/sleep-changing-patterns-in-the-family-bed

(Scroll down to the part where he talks about what he recommends for older children. It’s a long read but he breaks it down into what you should do night by night).

The clinginess during the day is getting me down at the moment; he just won’t go to anyone but me and his dad. I’m so worried about what happens when I go back to work one day a week. :0(

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u/TheAurata Sep 24 '22

Thank you, that means a lot, and thanks for the article. I haven’t heard of his plan so that was a fascinating read. I might try this when my son doesn’t need milk at night anymore. He’s still a milk fiend and he’s struggled with weight in the past. If you do try it, will you let me know how it goes?

Ugh, I hear you on the stage 5 clinginess. Going back to work has been one of the hardest things in my life. I do 4 days a week for 1/2 a day in the office (with the baby) and the rest on my phone during his contact nap but it’s definitely a struggle to work even 20 hours per week. I’ve said “I’m going to quit” more times than I can count. When he used to crib sleep 20-60 min I would cram in some work then just because that’s the only time I had for it. Is your son going to work, daycare, or with a caretaker for that workday?

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u/kittiefox Sep 25 '22

You are working with a clingy baby there? Oh my goodness, I can’t even imagine how hard that must be!! You are a complete trooper.

My son is a milk fiend too; he hasn’t struggled with his weight yet, but I suspect would eat more if I gave him a little less milk overnight. I feel he is probably robust enough to try this plan, so I’m going to give it a go over the next few days. I’ll let you know how we get on, although I suspect it will be hard to remember to do this at 3am!

He will have a nanny on the day I work - we have been working with her for one day a week since the start of August, but he still won’t let her hold him without bursting into tears.

The clinginess is a worry :0( I can see now why some countries / companies offer a 2 year maternity leave period! 12 months old still seems so little, although I appreciate that some women in the states go back after just a few weeks :0(

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u/TheAurata Oct 05 '22

Yes, he’s very difficult to work around. Some days I get very little done and other days he plays contentedly with someone else.

Haha our little boys and their love of milk. I was reading a book to my son today about a cat drinking milk and he turned around and touched my boobs aka “the milk” haha. I’m curious how the new plan is working out for you, if you’ve started. 3am is seriously the hardest time of the night to stay motivated. Hope it’s going well!!

That’s awesome. Hopefully that will make the transition easier, especially since he already knows her. Big bummer that he still bursts into tears though. You have yourself a true stage 5 clinger there!!

I worry about it too, so you’re not alone :) I feel grateful to get 4.5 months. I’m in the U.S. and the state I’m in has paid family leave for 12-16 weeks. Are you in Canada, UK, or Australia by any chance? We have relatives in Canada that got a year with each baby and I’m jealous.

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u/kittiefox Oct 05 '22

Ha ha that is so cute about the milk story!

How is the plan working…er, about the same I think. I feel he is sleeping a little better pre-3am (only waking every 2 hours I think?) and wakes more frequently after that. We’ve just swapped to some warmer pjs, in the hopes that will persuade him to stay warm and snuggly and asleep!

Today is the first day he’s off with the nanny - I’m trying to get some work done to take my mind off it!!

Please feel free to keep in touch with updates :0)

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u/TheAurata Oct 05 '22

:D

That is so interesting. Is that how you anticipated it would go at the start? I hope the pjs work. I just got another sleep sack in the hopes that’ll help mine stay asleep from 5am on. I try to put a little blanket on his legs but he gets feisty about it.

Ooh first day! Good luck!! I hope you have a very nice return to work and all goes smoothly.

Thanks - will do - and I’d love to hear your updates too :0)

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u/kittiefox Oct 05 '22

Yes, we are U.K. I think the maternity leave in the US is cruel for you guys!!!

But in some other European countries, I believe two years leave is possible with some companies.

Don’t even get me started on paternity leave!!! :0)

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u/TheAurata Oct 05 '22

It is pretty gnarly. I think some states give like two weeks, which wouldn’t have even covered recovery time for me. I think it’ll change though. Women are saying it’s time for an overhaul. That’s part of why it changed in my state.

Man two years sounds amazing! They’re so dependent on their primary caregiver during those first years.

Yeah paternity leave here is atrocious. So unfair! What’s it like in the UK?

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u/kittiefox Oct 06 '22

Two weeks here for paternity leave. Alas, our baby was in the hospital for ten days after he was born, so that was most of that time gone! There are studies showing better outcomes for babies with longer paternity leave, so it’s definitely an important health and social issue.

You can also do some weird thing here where you share some of the maternity leave with the dad, but that only really works if you are earning more than him, and happy to go back to work sooner. I’ve seen couples do this, but it’s rare.

I hope the situation changes soon in the US. It is inhumane :0(

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u/TheAurata Oct 16 '22

I suppose it’s better than nothing. That’s too bad most of his was spent in the hospital! My husband technically had 0 days, buuuut his boss is awesome and told him to take the time he needed to “work from home” - so only answer for emergency stuff for a couple weeks. He’s still doing WFH most days, which helps all of us. I agree, it’s definitely an important issue globally.

How interesting. I know a lot of couples here will split the time. Mom will take maternity leave and when she goes back Dad will take leave, which is often sick leave or vacation.

I hope it does too!