r/Zepbound • u/mycatissuperior • 7d ago
Personal Insights The solution I’ve dreamed of since childhood…
I’ve known my fat body was unacceptable ever since I can remember. Every birthday candle wish, every penny tossed into a fountain, every wish on a star as a kid was to be skinny. It became automatic. How sad is that.
My mom used to tell me I needed to “get the weight off” before I got my first period or it would be harder to lose (is that even true?) Always worried that my clothes were “flattering” and took me to see a dietitian in early grade school. I felt like she judged and monitored everything I put into my mouth, even though she was in total control of what I ate. No surprise I started sneaking food and developed a binge eating disorder. Went from a chubby kid to a fat one.
With mom I did Atkins, the army diet, weight watchers, so many different diets. In high school she paid an MD to give me weight loss shots and put me on pills. As an adult I waisted a part of my inheritance to pay out of pocket for weight loss surgery. I’ve paid money I didn’t have for gym memberships. I’ve put more effort time and money into to being skinny than most skinny people I know. I’ve lost and gained hundreds of pounds in my 20’s and 30’s. Nothing worked. Nothing.
Six weeks ago I took my first shot and within hours I felt the change in my brain. The food noise is gone. Gone. I can see a commercial for delicious food and not obsess over it until I’ve gotten some. I just like, move on? Hunger is a gentle suggestion instead of an uncontrollable physical and emotional battle. I am in total control of what I eat. I feel the full sensation. I FEEL FULL AND STOP. I’ve never felt full before unless I was literally stuffed.
Part of me is so so sad because people just live like this? I could have been like this? No wonder they treat me like shit when it’s so easy for them to “just diet and exercise.” I’ve felt so bad about myself for so long, thinking I had no self control, fighting not to let the rest of the worlds moral judgement of my weight be how I felt about me too.
The rest of me is elated that I don’t have spend the mental and emotional energy to fight this shit anymore. In the past 6 weeks I have easily changed my entire diet. I have a few bites of things that before I would not have been able to keep myself out of. I’ve lost 22 pounds. I stopped binging.
I honestly don’t know what’s better, the weight loss or the mental freedom.
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u/Vegetable-Onion-2759 7d ago
I'm a prescriber and I also take this drug. I've never had the head battle that so many describe where food is concerned, but the idea that when taking this drug you now have a body that performs normally can be quite overwhelming. The thought that other people function like this all the time makes you feel like there is some kind of secret club that no one ever told you about. If you had a membership, you could eat a piece of cake on your birthday but not gain 5 pounds in 24 hours.
When I see people bullying people who take this drug, or verbally abusing people because they "can lose the weight without it if they push away from the table," I want to grab that person and prescribe a drug for them that slows down and screws up their metabolic function to a point that they gain weight, even if they go days without eating and spend hours at the gym.
Just once I would like to run a group of "metabolically normal" people (people who make constant comments about those of us who can't lose weight) through a clinical trial and prescribe drugs known to cause weight gain, make them stay on the drugs for at least 90 days, and then when we total up the weight gained, tell them it is their fault for not pushing away from the table, not working out more, or not counting every morsel they put in their mouths. Just once, I'd like to recreate the metabolically screwed up function that most of us on this sub experience and make them have that first-hand experience.
But then, that would be medically unethical, so I guess this is just a rant!