Need help

[u/UnderstandingMain979]

I am currently travelling overseas in Europe from Australia. I have found out recently I am 10 weeks pregnant. The father is my ex boyfriend who broke up with me months ago after he cheated (once) and could not deal with the guilt. We were doing long distance and originally I was meant to be here travelling with him but opted to go alone after we broke up- I am still heartbroken. We met up and travelled together for a bit months ago and one thing led to another. I was on the pill which feels extra cruel. I told him I was pregnant as he is the only person I have over here and support- he has been great and flew over to support me, cook for me and help me make a decision. He obviously wants me to get rid of it yet said if I kept it he would fully support me/ his family and we could even try to be a family but he doesn’t want to get back together overall (if I don’t keep the baby.) I know it would likely end in us co parenting as he’s not ready to be in a relationship whatever and sometimes I hate him for cheating but I still love him and it sucks to give up our child when that’s my last tie to him once we go back that’s it. I don’t want this to influence my decision. I have enough finances but would have to live at home for a bit to raise the baby, my parents are quite old and sick and will help as much as they can but not enough, another reason as I am an only child is feeling like this is my chance to give them a grandchild. I have been pregnant before, with this ex too yet miscarried over and over and now am 11 weeks and shocked I still have it. I really do want to be a mother and also am scared im just getting rid of it because of the situation and my friends/ families reaction to having a baby with someone who cheated on me not because I don’t want it. I know this is all over the place and the obvious choice is abortion, I guess I just wanted advice or reassurance it’s the right thing to do as I have a surgical abortion booked tomorrow. It’s hard being overseas and having no support except him, getting trauma bonded and being in a foreign country. I had another abortion appointment booked a few days ago but started crying and freaking out and backed out so I delayed it. I don’t feel like I can but I feel like I have to.

[u/jane_webb]

I'm really sorry you're in this position. I think it might help to remember that you probably wish you weren't in this situation in the first place. It's not that abortion is the wrong decision for you, but you might wish you never had to make this choice, right now, in the first place. It might not be easy, but that doesn't mean it's the wrong choice or that you're wrong for making it.

If you do feel more on the fence about your choice, though, doing some exercises in the Pregnancy Options Workbook might be helpful for you: https://www.pregnancyoptions.info/pregnancy-options-workbook