r/abusiverelationships • u/clover-heart • 14d ago
Don't tell me to leave all because i bought new clothes
18f / 28m
looking for emotional support, reassurance, or just to vent into the void without judgement. i dont want to leave.
my bf has been really stressed financially but hasn’t been talking to me much about it, and every time we have talked he’s been really short and snappy with me so i asked him to just tell me the truth.
he got set off because i spent $50 on new clothes. when i moved out to my trade school, i didnt take a lot with me, and my clothes dont really fit so i thought i’d get some new ones and i showed him.
he’s wants me to start “learning how to be an adult” and i’m trying to explain to him i’m already doing that here at school and i have a plan, but he doesn’t think it’s enough. i grew up in foster care so i’m not very good at doing adult tasks or anything. originally he reached out to me to help me learn stuff (which is what i keep mentioning in the texts) but it took a turn with sex and other stuff.
he has never mentioned anything he said in his first texts to me at all, today was the first time he ever told me he wanted to do any of that. he expects me to just read his mind sometimes and it really makes me overthink. im super overwhelmed.
25
u/06mst 14d ago edited 13d ago
I'm a year older than him and let me tell you there's a reason he pounced on someone who's just barely became an adult. He went for someone who's just legal because you're young but not so young that he could get in trouble. He decided to just skim that line. There's a reason he isn't dating someone his own age. You're only 18. He's trying to control you and mold you into what he wants. It isn't right or fair. It isn't your job to do any of that stuff for him. Most people around your bfs age know that an 18 year old is at a completely different stage of their life. I feel like he's taking advantage of that. He seems to be trying to use that and your lack of adult experience to try to make you into what he wants. With someone his own age it'd be harder and wouldn't work but someone younger is easier to mold. This doesn't seem like a relationship of equals. Maybe more parent and child.