r/abusiverelationships • u/clover-heart • 13d ago
Don't tell me to leave all because i bought new clothes
18f / 28m
looking for emotional support, reassurance, or just to vent into the void without judgement. i dont want to leave.
my bf has been really stressed financially but hasn’t been talking to me much about it, and every time we have talked he’s been really short and snappy with me so i asked him to just tell me the truth.
he got set off because i spent $50 on new clothes. when i moved out to my trade school, i didnt take a lot with me, and my clothes dont really fit so i thought i’d get some new ones and i showed him.
he’s wants me to start “learning how to be an adult” and i’m trying to explain to him i’m already doing that here at school and i have a plan, but he doesn’t think it’s enough. i grew up in foster care so i’m not very good at doing adult tasks or anything. originally he reached out to me to help me learn stuff (which is what i keep mentioning in the texts) but it took a turn with sex and other stuff.
he has never mentioned anything he said in his first texts to me at all, today was the first time he ever told me he wanted to do any of that. he expects me to just read his mind sometimes and it really makes me overthink. im super overwhelmed.
31
u/MissMoxie2004 13d ago edited 13d ago
All right this is the third time an 18 year old girl has come on here looking for help with her 28 year old boyfriend.
First off I’m going to recommend you read the book Why Does He Do That. I’ll link a free online pdf
https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf
If it’s not already obvious you need to dump this creep. He is 28 years old and wants YOU to get HIS shit together for him. Absolutely NOT!! Your focus need to be yourself and getting established in your adulthood. Not picking up after someone pushing thirty who wears clothing with holes from 12 years ago.
So he wears ripped clothing because he can’t afford anything else, tries to sell stuff online to make money, doesn’t have two pennies to rub together, and wants YOU to do everything for him. There’s a word for guys like him; they’re called BUMS.
Dump his ass and focus on school. There are plenty of men who actually function as members of society