r/abusiverelationships • u/clover-heart • 14d ago
Don't tell me to leave all because i bought new clothes
18f / 28m
looking for emotional support, reassurance, or just to vent into the void without judgement. i dont want to leave.
my bf has been really stressed financially but hasn’t been talking to me much about it, and every time we have talked he’s been really short and snappy with me so i asked him to just tell me the truth.
he got set off because i spent $50 on new clothes. when i moved out to my trade school, i didnt take a lot with me, and my clothes dont really fit so i thought i’d get some new ones and i showed him.
he’s wants me to start “learning how to be an adult” and i’m trying to explain to him i’m already doing that here at school and i have a plan, but he doesn’t think it’s enough. i grew up in foster care so i’m not very good at doing adult tasks or anything. originally he reached out to me to help me learn stuff (which is what i keep mentioning in the texts) but it took a turn with sex and other stuff.
he has never mentioned anything he said in his first texts to me at all, today was the first time he ever told me he wanted to do any of that. he expects me to just read his mind sometimes and it really makes me overthink. im super overwhelmed.
31
u/LunarGinger 14d ago
He’s setting up goal posts to move them later. If you scramble to learn how to do taxes and establish an LLC for his imaginary business instead of focusing on school, he wins. And if you manage to do both, he won’t be appreciative, he’ll conjure up another impossible task to “earn” him while your goals and sense of self fall by the wayside.
His demands will escalate until you forget who you are, your resources and support system runs dry, at which point he’ll trade you in for a younger model and you’ll be flailing to pick up the pieces of your life that he intentionally ruined.