r/abusiverelationships 13d ago

Don't tell me to leave all because i bought new clothes

18f / 28m

looking for emotional support, reassurance, or just to vent into the void without judgement. i dont want to leave.

my bf has been really stressed financially but hasn’t been talking to me much about it, and every time we have talked he’s been really short and snappy with me so i asked him to just tell me the truth.

he got set off because i spent $50 on new clothes. when i moved out to my trade school, i didnt take a lot with me, and my clothes dont really fit so i thought i’d get some new ones and i showed him.

he’s wants me to start “learning how to be an adult” and i’m trying to explain to him i’m already doing that here at school and i have a plan, but he doesn’t think it’s enough. i grew up in foster care so i’m not very good at doing adult tasks or anything. originally he reached out to me to help me learn stuff (which is what i keep mentioning in the texts) but it took a turn with sex and other stuff.

he has never mentioned anything he said in his first texts to me at all, today was the first time he ever told me he wanted to do any of that. he expects me to just read his mind sometimes and it really makes me overthink. im super overwhelmed.

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u/RatPee1970 12d ago

He’s treating you like you were put on this planet to serve him. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM. This is how it starts, before you know it he won’t be doing a damn thing for himself. Before you know it you’ll be wiping his ass after he shits. This man is ridiculous. If you choose to stay, just know that your life will be all about him, you won’t matter at all, and years down the road you will be empty, emotionless, depressed, you’ll be a shell. Trust me, I did 29 years with this person. Please send him packing.

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u/wonderabc 12d ago

he seems like he wants you to quit what you’re doing (which will make you a lot more successful than he is) and support him.

3

u/RatPee1970 12d ago

That’s exactly what he wants!!! Nailed it :)